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Ghosts Not in Household

Ok, so a couple of my Sims bit the proverbial plumbob and I put their graves in the garden (as you do!)

Now they float around quite the thing and have the same relationships as they had before, one was the partner of my remaining living sim.

Now although there is an option for living sim to propose to dead sim, it is greyed out as the ghost sim needs to be a 'member of the household.'

Although my living sim has a very high friendship (and romantic) relationship with the dead sim there is never an option to ask him to move in or anything.

How much of a friendship level do they need? Why aren't sims that die in a family still in the family anyway? Have their loved ones forgotten them? :( Where is the afterlife? And why can't it be in my house? Ghost babies?

Thanks for any help.

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