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    What are the best/worst one-liner jokes you have?

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    Comments

    • elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said: ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice! :mrgreen:
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    • elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ...You can hide but you can’t run! :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
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    • ImperativeReactionImperativeReaction Posts: 41 Member
      Not really a one liner but...
      How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
      Walking.
      jk Rowling.
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    • Wildley CuriousWildley Curious Posts: 5,349 Member
      edited April 2015
      A man who mixes poison ivy with a four leaf clover will have a rash of good luck.
      “I was so sure that I knew what they needed and what I wanted to sell them that I never stopped long enough to find out what it was they wanted to buy.”
      ― Chris Murray, The Extremely Successful Salesman's Club
    • 0Chloe0Chloe Posts: 1,922 Member
      edited April 2015
      What do you call a fast zombie? Zoombie.
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    • elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      I can hear music coming out of my printer. I think the paper’s jammin’ again! :mrgreen:
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    • elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      Last night, me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily, I was the one facing the telly! :mrgreen:
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    • Tumelonc123Tumelonc123 Posts: 2,216 Member
      Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
      A: Microchips! :D
      x7jy9wegxe29.jpgDischord: Nubi-Q#6857http://mypage.thesims3.com/mypage/Tumelonc123Steam Id: nubian_oppressor https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198348370783/Origin Id:N-B-Q
    • Tumelonc123Tumelonc123 Posts: 2,216 Member
      Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing!
      x7jy9wegxe29.jpgDischord: Nubi-Q#6857http://mypage.thesims3.com/mypage/Tumelonc123Steam Id: nubian_oppressor https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198348370783/Origin Id:N-B-Q
    • rosey1579rosey1579 Posts: 6,252 Member
      Every time I lose weight, I find it again in the fridge...
      Don't forget to smile.
      My W/list: http://store.thesims3.com/myWishlist.html?persona=rosey1579
    • MRSMLOGMRSMLOG Posts: 21,181 Member
      Two cannibals were munching on a clown they roasted. One cannibal says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
    • elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      edited May 2015
      "I think my neighbour is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night." :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
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    • AggelieAggelie Posts: 46 Member
      A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
    • elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      I heard a great joke about Amnesia, but I forgot it! :mrgreen:
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    • elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      edited June 2015
      Haha, I love this joke I found:
      I got a call from the modeling agency. They wanted me to pose for some "before" pictures. :mrgreen:
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    • elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      I tried to join Paranoia's Anonymous, but they wouldn't tell me where they were! :mrgreen:
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    • elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      I'm the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser. :mrgreen:
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    • elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      Whatever you do in life, always give 100%! Unless you're donating blood... :mrgreen:
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    • elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      Haha:
      Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings... :mrgreen:
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    • elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      I'm a really down to Earth person...Because, you know...Gravity? :mrgreen:
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    • elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      I named my dog "A Mile" so I can say: "I walk A Mile everyday"! :mrgreen:
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    • have2admithave2admit Posts: 2,246 Member
      Hellen Keller walks into a bar......and a table...then a chair........ :)
    • have2admithave2admit Posts: 2,246 Member
      edited June 2015
      Q: So if women with large breasts work at Hooters, where do women with one leg work?

      A: IHOP

      :)
      Post edited by have2admit on
    • MRSMLOGMRSMLOG Posts: 21,181 Member
      "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing....except when you're at a funeral.
    • MRSMLOGMRSMLOG Posts: 21,181 Member
      Why don't you ever see Hippos hiding in trees?

      Because they're really good at it.
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