Great writing, Ciane, and such a poignant, emotional tale...
Deidre is just so dear and relatable. As an adult it’s difficult enough to try to puzzle out the answers we seek, but it’s just heartbreaking to see a child struggle in such a way. At the very least, I do hope that Deidre can find someone with whom to share her thoughts and feelings. Being alone can be blissful, but it hurts to see her so lonely.
This was me around your age - a girl hiding behind a smile. I never felt the smile. I only ever felt the tension. For as long as I remember there has been tension like another person in the room who observes and judges, noting all my faults and all my insecurities.
Awkward me who tried to please others a bit too much...
Has turned into the current me who is much better at hiding things, I think.
I step out on a balcony in the morning and am transfixed by this view that took hundreds, nay, thousands of years to create; and, I think that I am still a work in progress with so much potential.
I see parts of my mama in me.
I do care what others think; and, putting on a happy facade is part of who I am.
I also see my papa in myself. Everyone says there is a very fine line between genius and insanity. I hope to avoid any insanity.
Of course, strange things happen all the times, like Ella choosing Mr. O' Dourke over Mr. Charming. Trust me, that seems so surreal.
Yet, who chooses whom in the game of love? I too have fallen in love.
And it feels as if the warmth of the sun is finally penetrating and reaching down into my depths.
My smile might still be tentative and hopeful and a bit unsteady, but I feel it.
He loves books even more than I and he is a genius too.
Sometimes, though, my life is like a game of chess that I play with papa.
The view from our balcony is as old as time, yet never gets old. I love waking up to that view.
This is a great place to live - so calm and peaceful - yet, I am anything but.
My happy face has no smile, for the world can be a dark place at times.
I am sick of spa treatments.
I am sick of taking medicine.
And I am so sick of going to the hospital all the time.
I see the healing waters of the spa from my home - a constant reminder that I need to heal.
And I am hoping, and praying, that my cells will someday be normal again.
Mama seems so ... very tired all the time. She looks the way I feel.
And yet, she, like me, is determined to explore all possible cures.
Papa seems the same as always, though maybe he is working even harder lately (and getting even more promotions as a result).
Sometimes, I just can't take any more.
I need to get away from all the tension, you know?
Gary is so sad for me.
He has vowed to search the internet and find everything there is to know about the best treatments. I really do love him.
I am just not sure how much more I can take.
I can't go to school any more 'cause there are too many germs I might pick up.
Mama is so upset than my life is being disrupted in yet another way.
She doesn't know anyone skilled enough to tutor me.
I am secretly happy to say good-bye to riding the school bus and sitting in boring classes.
One thing that helps keep me sane is that I can talk to Gary about everything.
Mama isn't so happy about me being in love and says not to rush into anything, especially an engagement.
The tension gets too much for Mama and Papa at times too.
I have to face the awful truth that Papa does NOT love mama.
And, Mama is talking about divorce.
She says she has her own dragons to slay.
But, for now, we avoid those truths and celebrate Christmas in July so that we can pretend to be happy. I even watch some dorky old Christmas shows on TV because when I watch TV, I cease to be me. I get lost in the stories.
I know I get treated so special because everyone worries I might die. Papa even let me drive his squad car one day.
I always ask Gary, "What's going to happen?"
Even when we are out on a fancy date, the terror looms.
It is too hard to pretend that nothing is wrong, and so I don't.
But, I do try to live in the moment and make the best of all there is.
I just wish I didn't get so tired.
And, I do not like being sick so much.
There are too many jokes about bowing to a porcelain god, but I would bow to any who would take this sickness away.
I am, again, the little girl who doesn't know what to think, to say, to do. Are we only truly happy in our dreams?
Just me,
Deidre
Sending up a prayer
PLEASE and thank you.
I know I gave a warning earlier about tissues being needed and I should have put up a warning this time too. Sorry! I'll go add that warning to the header now!
Ah, yes Lily, I am very much hoping for a happy outcome. The struggles though do make us want to comfort her and love her a bit more I think. Your rooting for her could make all the difference. ; }
I'm hungry for more. You, my friend, have some amazing writing skills. Not many stories touch me, but I can feel the words in this one, I can feel the pain.
Don't you wish you were out on the water drifting along in a sailboat?
I often feel adrift, but it can be a peaceful feeling at times.
I tried on the cute hat you sent. It is the best hat ever! I LOVE it! Thank you so much!
Fortunately I had lots of hair before, so I still have some right now.
But, I LOVE the hat and I shall wear it EVERYwhere.
Your brother, my papa, got a job transfer. The Llamas needed a new athlete quick after that unfortunate incident with one of the players. So, instead of scouting from the questionable population here, they went straight to the city's finest and hired papa. So, he has been going on lots of long runs lately...
At all hours of the day and night. He helps him burn off stress.
I still have energy to help out around the house.
And, I even enjoy dancing some times.
Mama worries about me a lot...
Just likes she worries about her little garden.
I do stress out at times. Who wouldn't?
But then, I just call up Gary. He is my rock.
He makes me feel so very special.
I wonder how I got so lucky and so unlucky at the same time.
I wonder if this can last.
He wraps me in his arms.
And he makes everything seem better for the moment.
I look forward to going to the movies with Gary and getting lost in someone else's world for just a little while.
But sometimes the movie falls short of my expectations, kind of like life itself.
Papa, too, is hopeful, whenever he hears the phone ring.
And then, he is let down when it isn't the news he hoped for.
Mama spends most of her time with her nose in a book. She found, "The Cure for All Cancers" by Hulda Clark and thought we could at least follow her recommendations to avoid certain foods.
I think she was one awesome research scientist with a lot of guts to put all her ideas out there for the professional medical community to shoot down.
But the more I research...
And the more Gary finds out...
The more we are convinced that Hulda Clark and Max Gerson, both of whom claimed a 95% cure rate of patients who were told they were incurable, offered hope. Hope is everything right now, you know?
Gary was especially intrigued with Max Gerson's hourly juicing and organic, when possible, vegan diet. If vegan diets can reverse diabetes and heart disease, they just might do the same for me.
I am shocked to learn about all the toxins in our food and how foods we were told were healthy really aren't!
I am starting my new diet right away.
If nothing else, the juices will give me more energy.
Mama and Papa are hopeful the new diet will help too. After all, Kris Carr is still around with her green juices several years after the diagnosis of incurable stage IV liver cancer.
So don't worry. I don't plan to let the grim reaper take me away.
I really hope, with all the new information about how important diet actually is, I CAN get better.
And, I shall be a tia myself soon! Isn't that exciting?
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Deidre is just so dear and relatable. As an adult it’s difficult enough to try to puzzle out the answers we seek, but it’s just heartbreaking to see a child struggle in such a way. At the very least, I do hope that Deidre can find someone with whom to share her thoughts and feelings. Being alone can be blissful, but it hurts to see her so lonely.
This was me around your age - a girl hiding behind a smile. I never felt the smile. I only ever felt the tension. For as long as I remember there has been tension like another person in the room who observes and judges, noting all my faults and all my insecurities.
Awkward me who tried to please others a bit too much...
Has turned into the current me who is much better at hiding things, I think.
I step out on a balcony in the morning and am transfixed by this view that took hundreds, nay, thousands of years to create; and, I think that I am still a work in progress with so much potential.
I see parts of my mama in me.
I do care what others think; and, putting on a happy facade is part of who I am.
I also see my papa in myself. Everyone says there is a very fine line between genius and insanity. I hope to avoid any insanity.
Of course, strange things happen all the times, like Ella choosing Mr. O' Dourke over Mr. Charming. Trust me, that seems so surreal.
Yet, who chooses whom in the game of love? I too have fallen in love.
And it feels as if the warmth of the sun is finally penetrating and reaching down into my depths.
My smile might still be tentative and hopeful and a bit unsteady, but I feel it.
He loves books even more than I and he is a genius too.
Sometimes, though, my life is like a game of chess that I play with papa.
We never know what lies ahead in life, do we?
Love,
Your cousin Deidre
xOOOx
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So, babies soon?! (I mean, after her next birthday of course.) I hope she becomes a bit more confident in herself.
The view from our balcony is as old as time, yet never gets old. I love waking up to that view.
This is a great place to live - so calm and peaceful - yet, I am anything but.
My happy face has no smile, for the world can be a dark place at times.
I am sick of spa treatments.
I am sick of taking medicine.
And I am so sick of going to the hospital all the time.
I see the healing waters of the spa from my home - a constant reminder that I need to heal.
And I am hoping, and praying, that my cells will someday be normal again.
Mama seems so ... very tired all the time. She looks the way I feel.
And yet, she, like me, is determined to explore all possible cures.
Papa seems the same as always, though maybe he is working even harder lately (and getting even more promotions as a result).
Sometimes, I just can't take any more.
I need to get away from all the tension, you know?
Gary is so sad for me.
He has vowed to search the internet and find everything there is to know about the best treatments. I really do love him.
I am just not sure how much more I can take.
I can't go to school any more 'cause there are too many germs I might pick up.
Mama is so upset than my life is being disrupted in yet another way.
She doesn't know anyone skilled enough to tutor me.
I am secretly happy to say good-bye to riding the school bus and sitting in boring classes.
One thing that helps keep me sane is that I can talk to Gary about everything.
Mama isn't so happy about me being in love and says not to rush into anything, especially an engagement.
The tension gets too much for Mama and Papa at times too.
I have to face the awful truth that Papa does NOT love mama.
And, Mama is talking about divorce.
She says she has her own dragons to slay.
But, for now, we avoid those truths and celebrate Christmas in July so that we can pretend to be happy. I even watch some dorky old Christmas shows on TV because when I watch TV, I cease to be me. I get lost in the stories.
I know I get treated so special because everyone worries I might die. Papa even let me drive his squad car one day.
I always ask Gary, "What's going to happen?"
Even when we are out on a fancy date, the terror looms.
It is too hard to pretend that nothing is wrong, and so I don't.
But, I do try to live in the moment and make the best of all there is.
I just wish I didn't get so tired.
And, I do not like being sick so much.
There are too many jokes about bowing to a porcelain god, but I would bow to any who would take this sickness away.
I am, again, the little girl who doesn't know what to think, to say, to do. Are we only truly happy in our dreams?
Just me,
Deidre
Sending up a prayer
PLEASE and thank you.
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Exploring life through imagination & satire since 1969.
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My heart is breaking for her </3
*hugs her even more tightly*
That was sooooo good and beautifully written. I'm invested in Deidre and want to know what happens next. That's always the sign of a good writer!
I'm a "glass-half-full" person, and I know you are, too, so I'm hoping things turn out well for her in the end.
Two BIG thumbs up from me!
:thumbup: :thumbup:
Abandoned Kids Challenge and Toddler Mania Challenge stories are complete.
I know I gave a warning earlier about tissues being needed and I should have put up a warning this time too. Sorry! I'll go add that warning to the header now!
Ah, yes Lily, I am very much hoping for a happy outcome. The struggles though do make us want to comfort her and love her a bit more I think. Your rooting for her could make all the difference. ; }
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I hope everything is alright with her..
Blythe, I will not keep you in suspense any longer than I have to.
My chapters are caught up with real time now and I have nothing waiting in reserve, so I must go play my sims to see what happens next.
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That my dear is incredibly moving writing, once again. It gets deeper and deeper with each letter.
Pulling self together to go back into the real world, although I know this is all too real for so many!
*Big Hugs* because you as a writer will need this I am sure. A great writer, like yourself, lives the story as they write.
Ohhh and the picture taking too is wonderful. Almost could read the story by the pictures alone. Thats pretty neat, I think
Waits next chapter...
I loved this and as I was reading it, it was like someone else was reading it to me. Sort of hard to explain but I can't wait for more.
Bravo ciane!! :thumbup:
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Don't you wish you were out on the water drifting along in a sailboat?
I often feel adrift, but it can be a peaceful feeling at times.
I tried on the cute hat you sent. It is the best hat ever! I LOVE it! Thank you so much!
Fortunately I had lots of hair before, so I still have some right now.
But, I LOVE the hat and I shall wear it EVERYwhere.
Your brother, my papa, got a job transfer. The Llamas needed a new athlete quick after that unfortunate incident with one of the players. So, instead of scouting from the questionable population here, they went straight to the city's finest and hired papa. So, he has been going on lots of long runs lately...
At all hours of the day and night. He helps him burn off stress.
I still have energy to help out around the house.
And, I even enjoy dancing some times.
Mama worries about me a lot...
Just likes she worries about her little garden.
I do stress out at times. Who wouldn't?
But then, I just call up Gary. He is my rock.
He makes me feel so very special.
I wonder how I got so lucky and so unlucky at the same time.
I wonder if this can last.
He wraps me in his arms.
And he makes everything seem better for the moment.
I look forward to going to the movies with Gary and getting lost in someone else's world for just a little while.
But sometimes the movie falls short of my expectations, kind of like life itself.
Papa, too, is hopeful, whenever he hears the phone ring.
And then, he is let down when it isn't the news he hoped for.
Mama spends most of her time with her nose in a book. She found, "The Cure for All Cancers" by Hulda Clark and thought we could at least follow her recommendations to avoid certain foods.
I think she was one awesome research scientist with a lot of guts to put all her ideas out there for the professional medical community to shoot down.
But the more I research...
And the more Gary finds out...
The more we are convinced that Hulda Clark and Max Gerson, both of whom claimed a 95% cure rate of patients who were told they were incurable, offered hope. Hope is everything right now, you know?
Gary was especially intrigued with Max Gerson's hourly juicing and organic, when possible, vegan diet. If vegan diets can reverse diabetes and heart disease, they just might do the same for me.
I am shocked to learn about all the toxins in our food and how foods we were told were healthy really aren't!
I am starting my new diet right away.
If nothing else, the juices will give me more energy.
Mama and Papa are hopeful the new diet will help too. After all, Kris Carr is still around with her green juices several years after the diagnosis of incurable stage IV liver cancer.
So don't worry. I don't plan to let the grim reaper take me away.
I really hope, with all the new information about how important diet actually is, I CAN get better.
And, I shall be a tia myself soon! Isn't that exciting?
Su Sobrina Deidre
xOOOx
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~Will