"I accidentally killed my boyfriend. Hopefully there's a way to get him back."
"The only thing I let my kids eat is cereal. Sometimes I don't even feed them since they get lunch at school."
"Some townies are so weird-looking that I stop whatever I'm doing just to rearrange their face. I feel like I spend more time doing that than actually paying attention to my needs. But maybe 'not seeing ugly people in my town' should be considered a need."