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Cultural norms/customs you'd change?

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It came to my attention recently that I don't share or agree with some cultural norms in my own country and wondered if others have instances of that also.

Tipping is a no brainer, I would change that for sure. Not that I don't want to help those who work for tips: but would rather they simply be paid a full wage, instead, and that good service was considered a natural part of every job, not something you only get if you grease palms extra.

Aside from that, I don't like the expectation of gifts to be opened immediately and in front of the giver. I think it puts both the giver and the recipient in an uncomfortable position of having to perform. It's especially bad when guests who brought gifts have to sit and watch their gifts opened so that who gave what is up for display and it then feels like a competition as well as a performance. Seems materialistic and vulgar.

But that's the norm in the US, and I would change it if I could.

Anyone else have norms from their own culture that they dislike or would change?
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Comments

  • cynciecyncie Posts: 4,547 Member
    Baby shower and wedding shower invitations from people you barely know. I would be broke if I gave gifts to all these people. Especially the ones who are on their second marriage and their third kid.
  • absolvo_catabsolvo_cat Posts: 7 New Member
    This is an insightful question really. I'm a cultural studies grad, and I frequently find myself evaluating cultural norms and customs I encounter, and it really is hard to judge whether you don't like a cultural norm because of your own cultural bias or not. One thing that I believe is more or less cross-cultural is having to come up with excuses if you don't feel like doing something. Like, your friends invite you to a party and you're like, nah, I'd rather chill with my cat at home, instead of "er, I have a thing I gotta do". Just be upfront, honest, and understanding, and no one is going to take offense.
  • CAPTAIN_NXR7CAPTAIN_NXR7 Posts: 4,451 Member

    Tipping is a no brainer, I would change that for sure. Not that I don't want to help those who work for tips: but would rather they simply be paid a full wage, instead, and that good service was considered a natural part of every job, not something you only get if you grease palms extra.

    That's a real American thing right? I never understood this concept. ๐Ÿค”

    I worked as a bartender before I became world famous, however, I was on full wages like everyone else. Tipping isn't required /expected where I'm from (The Magical Green Isle of Potatoes) but it's nice when you do get a few quid, simply for being a genuinely friendly and awesome member of staff.
    Note: Fake friendly staff don't get tips because they're not truly awesome, but at least they get their full wages paid in full and that's fair enough.

    Usually the tips go in a tip jar and are shared between employees at the end of the month or quarter or whatever, but I never fancied giving away my HARD EARNED candies -I mean excuse me but I got tipped for my winning smile, not for my colleague's grumpy behaviour - therefore I kept all that yum yum (to) myself. That's a double no-brainer right there.
    I'd often buy my co-workers a drink though, so in principle it's the same thing as sharing your tips AND the rest of your wages.

    As for traditions I don't care for, there are too many to list out, but since I got inspired by all the gifts and baby showers, here's a similar thing:

    Weddings.

    Wonderful, if that's your thing.
    Me personally? Nah. You're either in love and together or you're not. There's something about the idea of signing an actual love contract that doesn't sit right with me. A contract of all things?! It's like signing away your freedom to grow or change as a person, just to make the family (and the system) happy. That doesn't mean it's always like that, but to me personally it sort of feels that way. And to tell the truth, I have feelings too.
    What if a couple just grows apart? So what? Life happens. Couple o' tears, now let's move on.
    Getting a divorce is just extra stress (and heaps of money) on top of an achy breaky heart. No thanks, I'd rather go on a holiday instead of paying for a solicitor. No problem darling, you can keep the kids. * ๐Ÿ˜†

    *And this is why no one would have me.
  • SimmingalSimmingal Posts: 8,885 Member
    edited September 2022
    Presents

    Especially presents that are not edible/otherwise easy to be rid of

    or presents that cost more than pizza

    just frustrates me when someone decides to gift me some random item i have literally no use for and now i am stuck either watching it roll around my house or trying to find way to get rid of it

    and also frustrates me when people give you expensive stuff cause then you feel obliged to also give them expensive stuff in return to make things even and I ain't got that type of money

    oh and souvenirs another evil entirely
    like nice you got me this random thing that just says I love x place or something but it was literally u who went there not me so this doesn't particularily mean anything to me soooo? :sweat_smile: just save your money next time pls?

    also yeah many wedding things don't really make sense to me like i get the sentiment but i just feel people really be weird with some stuff

    like don't understand inviting people you barely know

    don't understand wedding rings and how much importance people put on wearing them freaking everywhere

    don't understand like 99% of the festivities if i were to really get to it

    oh don't understand those ridiculously long ceremonies some people pick that make me consider having a nap

    aaand yeah as end of the year is eerily getting closer I must say I wish people stopped doing million fireworks on new years

    like maybe its pet owner thing but I feel so bad for my poor cat being scared of fire in the sky and horrible sounds every year

    especially hate those fireworks that are just noisy and don't even look like anything

    like would it be too much to just limit the dang fireworks to one hour and only shoot like couple per household at most? no?

    okay thank i think i rant enough :lol:
    hopefully i didn't side track the topic too much
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  • CAPTAIN_NXR7CAPTAIN_NXR7 Posts: 4,451 Member


    Gosh we all sound like Ebenezer Scrooge. ๐Ÿ˜…
    From now on I'm going to refer to this thread as the "BAH HUMBUG!" thread.
  • WhatCobblersWhatCobblers Posts: 2,748 Member
    edited September 2022
    Sorry, this is a long one. I don't know if this is a culturally specific thing to everywhere but one trend where I would definitely make changes is publicly declaring everything about yourself and your whole life on social media, for a few reasons.

    1) Sharing your exact location and what you're currently doing (or 'checking in'). I understand why someone would want to share this info with their friends, but don't quite understand why some seem to want the whole world to know. It feels attention seeking.
    It also seems to me a huge security risk to let complete strangers know where you are and what you are doing. It kind of feels like saying "Hello strangers, here is my exact location! As you can see from the lavish picture of a cake I've just posted, I have money on me so if you are in the area and are interested in mugging me, you can find me at the following location on the map provided."

    2) Posting angry opinions (she says, posting a long moan about something on a forum). Again, why the need to let the whole world know? I understand the wish to vent about a topic (did the same during lockdown) but the problem is that it doesn't solve the problem. Instead, you are more likely to just open yourself to a further stress inducing arguement with some ignorant stranger who probably hasn't even read your post properly and is just using your post as an excuse to take out their own frustrations.
    If the opinion is to raise awareness of an injustice then that's a different matter (although unfortunately it can still produce the same results). But it sometimes feels like people care more about pointing fingers and having a moan than actually solving the problems they are commenting on, and there is too much of this.
    If I didn't have to have some sort of social media presence for business purposes I would honestly quit the whole lot. I am so tired of all the fighting. People can lose jobs and reputations now all because of not watching what they say on a social media site. And even if you are being careful, it can still happen if a particularly angry person happens to take something you've said the wrong way and launches a public hate campaign before actually discussing the issue. When did society get so childish?

    The second cultural norm I would get rid of in the UK is Reality TV. 1) It's not reality. It is a false version of reality with unrealistic ideals. Most of society cannot holiday to tropical islands and go out to nightclubs all the time without an income. Also, relationships don't have to be filled with drama and stress all the time. If this is the case, then it's surely not a healthy relationship to be in?
    2) I do not agree with people being paid vast sums of money just for going to bars and parties and arguing about their (fake) relationships in front of a camera.
    There are millions of people with actual talents and skills, who have worked hard to build their skillset and are struggling to get jobs. Meanwhile, being shouty and confrontational, materialistic, partying all the time, never working hard and never aspiring to anything other than vanity and having drama about the pettiest things are glorified as admirable qualities, and people are given money for this?!

    There are a few other things I'd change too but I'll stop there. ๐Ÿ˜…
    Post edited by WhatCobblers on
  • DeKayDeKay Posts: 81,472 Member
    I can't really think of any cultural custom I'd like to change here. We got so many quirky ones but they kinda have a charm to them sometimes.

    For example, here, we can 'book' a table at a food court/hawker center with a packet of tissue paper or any of your belongings, really. ๐Ÿคฃ Sometimes we just put our bags at the table and then go away to order our food at the food stall. To people from other countries, this may sound crazy cuz you would think someone would steal your stuff but that rarely happens.

    I guess the only thing I wish to change is there to be less Singlish speaking people. I wish more people here just spoke good English.
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  • SimmingalSimmingal Posts: 8,885 Member
    edited September 2022
    Sorry, this is a long one. I don't know if this is a culturally specific thing to everywhere but one trend where I would definitely make changes is publicly declaring everything about yourself and your whole life on social media, for a few reasons.
    Oh social media is whole another can of worms
    Momstagrams are the worst I see so many posts on explore just being like
    ''look at my kids doing something weird they surely wanted me to share this with whole world''
    I thank universe every day I was not born in social media times

    and even more
    I thank universe mom didn't send any of the home videos in that ''funniest videos'' show
    we had back then for this type of horror content

    standard mom gossip is bad enough
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  • WhatCobblersWhatCobblers Posts: 2,748 Member
    @Simmingal yes, the culture of putting children and babies in the online spotlight for the world to see, without any regard for how that child is going to feel about having those pictures permanently available on the web when they're older, is a whole other problem.
    Again, there is a huge security risk if you don't use privacy settings, anyone could access them and download them just by copying and pasting.
    It surely can't be good for a young person's mental health either, as they are essentially being conditioned to put themselves on display from an early age.
  • ignominiusrexignominiusrex Posts: 2,680 Member
    I got one: I have what some have described as a German level of directness in real life. My mother, on the other hand, was a product of an upbringing in which hinting around the point instead of just coming out and saying whatever it was, was the norm. Also, she told of this thing whereby you're supposed to refuse the first two times someone offers you something, and only say yes on the third try. If you said no on the third offering, then they knew you meant it.

    I've heard that's an Irish thing as well. My mother's habit of being indirect, and my directness, caused us to clash a lot when I was growing up.

    Neither one predominates in the US, apparently how direct or hinting-around someone is, depends very much on where and when in the US they grew up, but I vastly prefer people being direct and to the point.
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  • GrumpyGlowfishGrumpyGlowfish Posts: 2,207 Member
    Oh, there is a lot, but two things stick out in particular:

    1) Society's obsession with alcohol. When I tell people I don't drink, they usually look at me like I just revealed to them that I don't sleep, or breathe. Like they're wondering how I can possibly function without their favourite drug. I've often been asked why I don't drink, but the question should really be: Why do people drink? Most of them don't even like it the first time they try it, it's actually harmful to their bodies, and makes them more prone to violence and accidents. I only use alcohol for cleaning and disinfecting (provided I can stand the smell), because that's what it's actually good for.

    2) Putting age and gender tags on everything. From exclusively blue and pink clothes for baby boys and girls, respectively, to separating toys into boys' and girls' piles, to people telling me, an adult woman, that I'm neither an adult nor a woman because I prefer playing video games by myself over shopping for shoes with my female friends, I've seen it all. There was also that time I went looking for curtains with galaxy or star patterns for my bedroom, and I found them - labelled as "for kids' bedrooms". That didn't stop me from buying them, but it did annoy me. Who are you to tell me that I'm a kid because I like to express my love for astronomy? Unlike me, most kids don't even understand astronomy, they just think it looks pretty, and yes, it does, even to adults!
  • jooxisjooxis Posts: 515 Member
    Aside from that, I don't like the expectation of gifts to be opened immediately and in front of the giver. I think it puts both the giver and the recipient in an uncomfortable position of having to perform. It's especially bad when guests who brought gifts have to sit and watch their gifts opened so that who gave what is up for display and it then feels like a competition as well as a performance. Seems materialistic and vulgar.

    I think the opposite really. I hate when I take all day shopping to find the perfect most thoughtful gift for a special person in my life and then they just thank me, take the box and put it in a separate room when I arrive, to be opened later and never mentioned afterwards.
  • BabykittyjadeBabykittyjade Posts: 4,975 Member
    In my native culture I would love to change the cultural norm of "staring" kids are not taught that staring is not a thing to do so as adults it's just a normal everyday activity. People where I am from will stare into your soul ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ and it makes foreigners feel like zoo animals. But you don't even have to look different or stand out any kind of way, if something about you interests them they will stare. And if you look at them they will not turn away so it becomes a staring content which can go on for about a half an hour if you're stuck with eachother. I even experienced the same thing with people who share my culture here in the U.S. they are still staring. My friend use to get so mad but I had to explain to her they are not intentionally being rude๐Ÿ˜…
    When I was little my parents taught me staring is the quality of a lion and to eliminate those animal qualities so I find it awkward.

    Here in the U.S I would change this weird emphasis they have on "age numbers" and barriers they have between adult and childhood. Like for example, once you turn 18 you magically become adult. Legally sure That's cool but you are also supposed to magically start thinking different, acting different, have different adult like interests, different clothes and basically become a different person? My way of thinking of certain things have naturally changed into a more complex POV but I'm the same person I was before with basically the same likes and dislikes.
    Here in the U.S the clothes suddenly goes from being bright and pretty to dark black, blues, browns and greys mostly? Toys are for kids? And everything you did or liked before is considered childish now that you are 18? Time to get out the house, get a job and get drunk? The age may be 21 but a lot of people end up drinking before then.

    My friend once told me that I'm too childish and I asked what things can I do to be more adult like?
    She hesitated a long while trying to think of stuff but it included drinking, clubbing, not having any stuffed animals or toys, not drawing or coloring on those little papers at restaurant tables, (but wait, what am I supposed to do while I'm waiting at the table?!๐Ÿ˜…)
    putting on make up, getting my nails done, wearing jeans and t-shirt instead of a pretty pink doll like dress and whatever else she listed. And she was embarrassed one day we went out I had my pink heart shaped bag that has a clear portion in the front so that it displays one my adorable little doll that resembles me I keep in there. And I'm thinking we live in a country where girls go out in what could be bikinis, have pink blue, green Mohawks, a face full of piercings and tattoos and other "out there" stuff you see everyday but a pink bag with a little doll crosses the line cause it's considered childish? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
    I'm like if that drab lifestyle is considered adult no wonder there is so much depression.
    I don't know if I explained that well enough but no it's wrong for anyone to do or wear or drink what they please rather I consider it drab or not but these changes are considered "standard expectations of adult society" and I still find it strange.

    Then there is even the deeper layer of child/adult qualities. Everywhere I look it seems like adults are always angry and fighting. Children get along with everyone and when they have a petty fight they make up, forgive and forget and are besties again.
    Imagine if adults carried that with them and learned how to be so carefree, loving of all lives and colors, forgiving and happy even throughout life's adversities or when things don't go your way.

    I even remember as a child one day me and my brother were fighting for a toy we wanted to sleep with so it broke in half and I was crying and mad with him. But after I finished crying I said "let's do this, you sleep with the top half and I sleep with the bottom half" and it was a deal. We were both happy and all was forgiven lol.
    But as an adult when you do something people hold grudges against each other. Say the wrong thing or even something they don't agree with or a different opinion and you're black listed for life and I've experienced that both online and in real life.
    Childhood is a time of learning how to be a proper adult through practicing and acquiring good qualities, to become an exhaulted human being and to learn the difference between right and wrong. But in adulthood sometimes it's wise to step back into childhood and learn lessons from there that we have forgotten.

    All in all, this cultural phenomenon is definitely something I would change in the U.S.
    But please excuse me while I get back to childishly decorating my dollhouse now.

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  • ignominiusrexignominiusrex Posts: 2,680 Member
    jooxis wrote: ยป
    Aside from that, I don't like the expectation of gifts to be opened immediately and in front of the giver. I think it puts both the giver and the recipient in an uncomfortable position of having to perform. It's especially bad when guests who brought gifts have to sit and watch their gifts opened so that who gave what is up for display and it then feels like a competition as well as a performance. Seems materialistic and vulgar.

    I think the opposite really. I hate when I take all day shopping to find the perfect most thoughtful gift for a special person in my life and then they just thank me, take the box and put it in a separate room when I arrive, to be opened later and never mentioned afterwards.

    I can't blame you for disliking it that someone would never mention the gift after...not opening it right away is usually fine because the person then writes a thank you note or thanks you in person, later. Not to mention it would give a very bad feeling. Some people feel embarrassed or put on the spot when given a gift, so it's better to open it later in private, but thanking the giver, both while receiving it and then later after it was opened, is important.

    Nice ideas, @Babykittyjade ! If being an adult means dressing like an emo phase and acting like one, too, count me out as well ๐Ÿ˜

    Not all people go around being ugly to one another as a way to be adults, take heart. There are those of us out there with graying hair who are into mischief and tickles, cuddles and rainbows.

    An adult can be lighthearted and loving, while still being able to move swiftly and decisively to handle urgent situations in life.

    You don't have to dim your shine for anyone.๐Ÿ’›
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  • CAPTAIN_NXR7CAPTAIN_NXR7 Posts: 4,451 Member
    edited September 2022

    Why do people drink?

    o:)

    jooxis wrote: ยป

    I think the opposite really. I hate when I take all day shopping to find the perfect most thoughtful gift for a special person in my life and then they just thank me, take the box and put it in a separate room when I arrive, to be opened later and never mentioned afterwards.

    I'd cut them out of my life. Not worth the effort. Special No More. Boom.


    Nice ideas, @Babykittyjade ! If being an adult means dressing like an emo phase and acting like one, too, count me out as well ๐Ÿ˜

    Not all people go around being ugly to one another as a way to be adults, take heart. There are those of us out there with graying hair who are into mischief and tickles, cuddles and rainbows.

    An adult can be lighthearted and loving, while still being able to move swiftly and decisively to handle urgent situations in life.

    You don't have to dim your shine for anyone.๐Ÿ’›

    I love all this and I agree. Iโ€™ve always appreciated those who are not afraid or ashamed to embrace their inner child and show it to the world. We can be both adults and children at the same time! Would anyone like to see my Lego sets and my Irish Whiskey collection? ๐Ÿ˜
  • WhatCobblersWhatCobblers Posts: 2,748 Member
    @Babykittyjade and @GrumpyGlowfish oh my goodness yes it is so annoying that so many things (clothes, furniture) with wacky bright colours or with any specific fun themes are classed as for children.
    Funnily enough I nearly bought galaxy themed curtains for my living room last year but couldn't find a UK supplier.

    You're never too old for bright colours, galaxy prints and certainly never too old to draw!
  • ignominiusrexignominiusrex Posts: 2,680 Member
    Oh, there is a lot, but two things stick out in particular:

    1) Society's obsession with alcohol. When I tell people I don't drink, they usually look at me like I just revealed to them that I don't sleep, or breathe. Like they're wondering how I can possibly function without their favourite drug. I've often been asked why I don't drink, but the question should really be: Why do people drink? Most of them don't even like it the first time they try it, it's actually harmful to their bodies, and makes them more prone to violence and accidents. I only use alcohol for cleaning and disinfecting (provided I can stand the smell), because that's what it's actually good for.

    2) Putting age and gender tags on everything. From exclusively blue and pink clothes for baby boys and girls, respectively, to separating toys into boys' and girls' piles, to people telling me, an adult woman, that I'm neither an adult nor a woman because I prefer playing video games by myself over shopping for shoes with my female friends, I've seen it all. There was also that time I went looking for curtains with galaxy or star patterns for my bedroom, and I found them - labelled as "for kids' bedrooms". That didn't stop me from buying them, but it did annoy me. Who are you to tell me that I'm a kid because I like to express my love for astronomy? Unlike me, most kids don't even understand astronomy, they just think it looks pretty, and yes, it does, even to adults!

    Where I live, not drinking alcohol is getting more commonplace among younger adults at least. Many are turning their backs on drinking when they turn 21, drinking at parties, etc. I am usually the only person my age ordering a non-alcohol IPA on a date, but it's become common enough with the younger crowd that most local venues now carry a new line of actually tasty alcohol-free brews. The attitude that drinking is cool and adult has faded, and at least where I live, Gen Z of drinking age are more likely to think of it as something only old, ugly people do. Kind of like how my generation thought of smoking, then watched in disbelief when millennials started smoking in droves. Like, Boomers did it because they were lied to and persuaded to, but everyone my generation and younger, knew the full story, plus it costs a truck payment plus your life expectancy so how and why did younger people figure that sounded like an excellent deal to get in on?

    Why do people drink?

    o:)

    jooxis wrote: ยป

    I think the opposite really. I hate when I take all day shopping to find the perfect most thoughtful gift for a special person in my life and then they just thank me, take the box and put it in a separate room when I arrive, to be opened later and never mentioned afterwards.

    I'd cut them out of my life. Not worth the effort. Special No More. Boom.


    Nice ideas, @Babykittyjade ! If being an adult means dressing like an emo phase and acting like one, too, count me out as well ๐Ÿ˜

    Not all people go around being ugly to one another as a way to be adults, take heart. There are those of us out there with graying hair who are into mischief and tickles, cuddles and rainbows.

    An adult can be lighthearted and loving, while still being able to move swiftly and decisively to handle urgent situations in life.

    You don't have to dim your shine for anyone.๐Ÿ’›

    I love all this and I agree. Iโ€™ve always appreciated those who are not afraid or ashamed to embrace their inner child and show it to the world. We can be both adults and children at the same time! Would anyone like to see my Lego sets and my Irish Whiskey collection? ๐Ÿ˜

    Ooo, me! I wonder which of us has the bigger LEGO collection? I gave up drinking for my health (blood pressure), but would still make an exception for a shot of fine aged whisky, on a special occasion.
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  • Shadow_AssassinShadow_Assassin Posts: 1,669 Member
    edited September 2022
    If it's my country/cultural circle, I don't know, because I usually don't care.
    But I can say one universal: how male/female should be. I think it's not about gender, but about the individual. For example, a woman chooses to be a housewife, not because she is a woman, but because she is fit for such a life. She may not be good at work in the usual sense but is good at housework.
    Here in the U.S I would change this weird emphasis they have on "age numbers" and barriers they have between adult and childhood. Like for example, once you turn 18 you magically become adult. Legally sure That's cool but you are also supposed to magically start thinking different, acting different, have different adult like interests, different clothes and basically become a different person? My way of thinking of certain things have naturally changed into a more complex POV but I'm the same person I was before with basically the same likes and dislikes.
    Here in the U.S the clothes suddenly goes from being bright and pretty to dark black, blues, browns and greys mostly? Toys are for kids? And everything you did or liked before is considered childish now that you are 18? Time to get out the house, get a job and get drunk? The age may be 21 but a lot of people end up drinking before then.
    So I thought about myself, from mental age I was an adult before I turned 18, but from socialization I probably just become an adult (I'm in my early or early-mid 20s)
    Post edited by Shadow_Assassin on
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  • ignominiusrexignominiusrex Posts: 2,680 Member
    @ShadowAssassin good point about how annoying it can be when people have social roles and even modes of employ, either thrust upon them, or assumed to be unfit for them, based merely on sex or gender. There are jobs that require a great deal of physical strength and stamina, but if someone has read the requirements and feels reasonably confident in their ability to fulfill them, they ought to have the chance. It works against everyone, when stereotypes are allowed to condition our expectations to the degree that a guy like me will be turned down without even being seriously considered, for jobs my daughter could walk in and be hired on the spot for, and vice versa. It's just lazy, to disregard people as individuals in favor of convenient broad stereotypes. But not only lazy, it actually limits people's lives, reduces the talent pool because capable candidates are being looked past due to not fitting the stereotype.

    Like it or not, we all have comfortable, convenient ideas of what this or that role looks like. We all judge a book by its cover, because we've been conditioned to and encouraged to our whole lives. But we can choose to catch ourselves at it, and try to question whether it's limiting our interactions, experiences, ways of being in the world, and our ability to interact.

    Gender stereotypes are often the first we think of because they are so tightly maintained in so many societies, but there are ageist stereotypes, and racist or ethnic ones, classist ones (people with whatever accent is considered desirable in their culture are given better opportunities and more respect by nearly everyone), and so on.

    It's easy to think we know what to expect from any given person based on the gender or sex (whichever we think we see), the age, our appraisal of their social status, but in the process of relaxing into that effortless way of thinking, we can blind ourselves to whatever more there could have been. Plus, we ourselves experience the same limitations, being expected to have a specific set of motives, abilities, and limits, that might not fit us, and get pressured to pretend they do, in order to gain social approval.

    Wouldn't it be cool if people were given the chance to demonstrate what we are like before we box each other up into little easily digested, modular chunks?๐Ÿ˜…
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  • PriestessDreadfulPriestessDreadful Posts: 284 Member
    edited September 2022
    I'm in Australia. I seriously dislike the office culture of giving gifts to work colleagues at Christmas time, and sometimes (depending on the workplace) birthdays as well. I worked in one place where every time somebody was leaving the company, they'd take up a collection for a farewell gift - it was a sizeable company, and people whom I barely knew were leaving all the time! I was always being asked for money. Quite aside from that, be honest, how often do you dislike some of your colleagues?! I hate putting in money for colleagues I don't like!

    I find this whole thing truly objectionable, and in more recent times I have asked workplaces to please not buy me gifts, as I don't wish to take part in the whole thing, but you can tell that people get really offended.

    I have started using "I don't celebrate Christmas" (which is true anyway) as a reason now. When you say it like that, they wonder if you have a different religion (I don't have any), so some people will actively respect that because they don't want to offend your possible religion. They get less personally annoyed at you that way.
  • PriestessDreadfulPriestessDreadful Posts: 284 Member
    DeKay wrote: ยป
    For example, here, we can 'book' a table at a food court/hawker center with a packet of tissue paper or any of your belongings, really. ๐Ÿคฃ Sometimes we just put our bags at the table and then go away to order our food at the food stall.

    People occasionally do that here (Australia). I've certainly done it in the pub!

  • BabykittyjadeBabykittyjade Posts: 4,975 Member
    edited September 2022
    I'm in Australia. I seriously dislike the office culture of giving gifts to work colleagues at Christmas time, and sometimes (depending on the workplace) birthdays as well. I worked in one place where every time somebody was leaving the company, they'd take up a collection for a farewell gift - it was a sizeable company, and people whom I barely knew were leaving all the time! I was always being asked for money. Quite aside from that, be honest, how often do you dislike some of your colleagues?! I hate putting in money for colleagues I don't like!

    I find this whole thing truly objectionable, and in more recent times I have asked workplaces to please not buy me gifts, as I don't wish to take part in the whole thing, but you can tell that people get really offended.

    I have started using "I don't celebrate Christmas" (which is true anyway) as a reason now. When you say it like that, they wonder if you have a different religion (I don't have any), so some people will actively respect that because they don't want to offend your possible religion. They get less personally annoyed at you that way.

    Lol that sounds annoying. I mean it's nice to give and I do think the idea behind it is nice but it turns out you are working to pay your co workers ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
    My brother use to work at a company like that. He was always complaining because everyone was expected to give money or gifts for birthdays and it was someone's birthday every week. Then they wanted him to put in to buy the manager holiday gifts yet, everyone literally hated the manger because he was rude.
    But my brother is so cheap the gifts he has given some of his coworkers are funny if not straight up embarrassing ๐Ÿ˜ฉ
    I'm like you were better of not giving anything lol
    Zombies, oh please oh please give us zombies!! :'(
  • BabykittyjadeBabykittyjade Posts: 4,975 Member
    @Babykittyjade and @GrumpyGlowfish oh my goodness yes it is so annoying that so many things (clothes, furniture) with wacky bright colours or with any specific fun themes are classed as for children.
    Funnily enough I nearly bought galaxy themed curtains for my living room last year but couldn't find a UK supplier.

    You're never too old for bright colours, galaxy prints and certainly never too old to draw!

    Galaxy themed curtains would look awesome if you get one of those galaxy projectors. Those things that display an image of the galaxy on your walls and/or ceiling. I keep meaning to get one and never got around to it ๐Ÿ˜†
    Zombies, oh please oh please give us zombies!! :'(
  • BabykittyjadeBabykittyjade Posts: 4,975 Member

    Why do people drink?

    o:)

    jooxis wrote: ยป

    I think the opposite really. I hate when I take all day shopping to find the perfect most thoughtful gift for a special person in my life and then they just thank me, take the box and put it in a separate room when I arrive, to be opened later and never mentioned afterwards.

    I'd cut them out of my life. Not worth the effort. Special No More. Boom.


    Nice ideas, @Babykittyjade ! If being an adult means dressing like an emo phase and acting like one, too, count me out as well ๐Ÿ˜

    Not all people go around being ugly to one another as a way to be adults, take heart. There are those of us out there with graying hair who are into mischief and tickles, cuddles and rainbows.

    An adult can be lighthearted and loving, while still being able to move swiftly and decisively to handle urgent situations in life.

    You don't have to dim your shine for anyone.๐Ÿ’›

    I love all this and I agree. Iโ€™ve always appreciated those who are not afraid or ashamed to embrace their inner child and show it to the world. We can be both adults and children at the same time! Would anyone like to see my Lego sets and my Irish Whiskey collection? ๐Ÿ˜
    (In response to the bolded)Captain said NO redemption and NO second chances ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ he or she better do backflips for that gift.

    Lego sets and Irish whiskey collections! Count me in!๐Ÿ˜
    Zombies, oh please oh please give us zombies!! :'(
  • BabykittyjadeBabykittyjade Posts: 4,975 Member

    Tipping is a no brainer, I would change that for sure. Not that I don't want to help those who work for tips: but would rather they simply be paid a full wage, instead, and that good service was considered a natural part of every job, not something you only get if you grease palms extra.

    That's a real American thing right? I never understood this concept. ๐Ÿค”

    I worked as a bartender before I became world famous, however, I was on full wages like everyone else. Tipping isn't required /expected where I'm from (The Magical Green Isle of Potatoes) but it's nice when you do get a few quid, simply for being a genuinely friendly and awesome member of staff.
    Note: Fake friendly staff don't get tips because they're not truly awesome, but at least they get their full wages paid in full and that's fair enough.

    Usually the tips go in a tip jar and are shared between employees at the end of the month or quarter or whatever, but I never fancied giving away my HARD EARNED candies -I mean excuse me but I got tipped for my winning smile, not for my colleague's grumpy behaviour - therefore I kept all that yum yum (to) myself. That's a double no-brainer right there.
    I'd often buy my co-workers a drink though, so in principle it's the same thing as sharing your tips AND the rest of your wages.

    As for traditions I don't care for, there are too many to list out, but since I got inspired by all the gifts and baby showers, here's a similar thing:

    Weddings.

    Wonderful, if that's your thing.
    Me personally? Nah. You're either in love and together or you're not. There's something about the idea of signing an actual love contract that doesn't sit right with me. A contract of all things?! It's like signing away your freedom to grow or change as a person, just to make the family (and the system) happy. That doesn't mean it's always like that, but to me personally it sort of feels that way. And to tell the truth, I have feelings too.
    What if a couple just grows apart? So what? Life happens. Couple o' tears, now let's move on.
    Getting a divorce is just extra stress (and heaps of money) on top of an achy breaky heart. No thanks, I'd rather go on a holiday instead of paying for a solicitor. No problem darling, you can keep the kids. * ๐Ÿ˜†

    *And this is why no one would have me.

    (In response to the bolded) lmbo๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    In regards to the weddings I think you feel that way because you haven't yet met your soul mate! I swear my oldest brother had the exact same mentality and he swore he was NEVER getting married. Next thing we know he meets this girl, falls madly in love and we were all shocked when he got married. He's been married about 4 years now and they get along so beautifully. They don't have or want any kids and just want to spend the years with each other.
    All he talks about is how much they are soul mates and how amazing his "wife" is lol. And deep down we are snickering like haha you said you didn't believe in marriage and would never do it ๐Ÿ˜†.

    I personally don't believe soul mates can grow apart if you find that special person. I do believe the relationship becomes more like siblings or close companions but it can still be a life long happy companionship. My parents have been together for 40 years and never had an argument. Just a few disagreements naturally but never any fighting or anything.
    and just the other day my dad said he would die for my mom.

    On the other hand I do think a lot of the cultural norms and expectations surrounding weddings are overdone. The amount of your love is measured by the size and cost of the diamond ring? Love should be measured and weighed by your heart and actions. The expectations are to spend 30 thousand dollars to say "I do" and the event lasts than less than a day? And the wedding outfits are only worn once? Not including what you're expected to spend for the honeymoon. Some people plan for months just for one day. And in my culture you're expected to drown yourself in jewelry and flowers and henna from head to toe (literally) ๐Ÿฅฒ and even after all of your money and brain power has been exhausted you're expected and often times pressured to have kids. But kids are not for everyone. I know I definitely do not want any of my own.


    I think the "idea" of marriage is beautiful. Two souls bound together by a deep yet invisible affection, taking an oath to love and be with each other for all eternity sounds magical. But the wedding itself and the expectations surrounding it is so overrated.
    And of course if you're the loner type of guy there's nothing wrong with that either! Some people never marry and are perfectly happy especially since marriage, rather it is a good one or not, is infact another form of "jail" ๐Ÿ˜†. Although a happy one if you get locked up with the right person and both of you share good qualities with each other to keep the jail cell harmonious.
    Zombies, oh please oh please give us zombies!! :'(
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