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Dim Sims ISBI 7/28

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  • mastressalitamastressalita Posts: 2,874 Member
    @pammiechick : This story has received a shoutout on the Monthly Shoutout thread and will be featured at the Stories and Legacies Index in the Monthly Shoutouts section during the month of April! Congrats!
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  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 12,262 Member
    Wow! Thank you for this honor!! <3
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  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 12,262 Member
    Author's note: Mr. Sausages is the creation of the very talented @EmberDahl . Please go and read this story --it first started out as an experiment and then turned into a hilarious story about the most devious character in Simdom--An Obnoxious Psycho Sausage Tests the Boundaries of Sims 4 Emotions.
    Chapter 2.3

    In the morning, Hunter decides to open the package.

    (**cringing...waiting for the blast**)

    But to my surprise, the boxes only held a few t-shirts, sunglasses, and a hat.

    Hunter puts the items on and moans, “What’s the meaning of this junk? THIS is supposed to help me conquer Newcrest?”

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    (Er...I think Mr. Sausages uses those items to ensnare his captives with subliminal messages.)

    Pulling out his phone, Hunter mutters, “I’m NOT a third rate amateur. I deserve better treatment than this.”

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    “Sausages? It’s Hunter the Invincible. Look, I need you to come to my place right away. Your products are faulty. And if you don’t want my lawyer contacting you, I suggest you figure this out in person! No...I’m not plumming off my nut. And DON’T send your half-pint son!”

    (**wipes face** You DO know who Mr. Sausages is, right, Hunter?)

    “Of course, Creator. We’re old pals.”

    (Well, you just told the guy who wanted to put his baby in the middle of a train track that you were going to sue him. I don’t think that’s a wise decision.)

    Hunter waves his hand. “Eh...he’s all bark and no bite. DID he put his boy on the train tracks? No. He SAID he was going to. Those are two different things.”

    (**rolls eyes** The only reason he DIDN’T put his son on the train track to be obliterated is because he COULDN’T. There are limits to this world you live in. And the only reason his son lives today is because Sausages can use him as he did last night.)

    Shaking his head, Hunter says, “Those are tiny details, now will you hush? I see Sausages coming down the street.”

    Mr. Sausages storms up to Hunter. “What in the grotty blazes are you doing calling me up at this gawd awful hour? Don’t you know I have science experiments just waiting to pop off at any moment?”

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    Hunter puts his hands on his hips. “I have a few grotty questions to ask you. What’s with the cheap product placement in my own story? You’ve already got thousands of readers and fans. Why do you have to go and try to grab for more? I don’t appreciate it, Sausages. I thought we were friends.”

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    Mr. Sausages just raises one eyebrow.

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    (EEK! Hunter, this doesn’t look good. People who talk like that to him never live to see the next day. Look what happened to these poor people in episode 6. And they were his FANS!)

    But Hunter doesn’t care, he just gives it right back to Mr. Sausages. “Well? Are you going to answer me or just sit there like a leftover hotdog after the circus leaves town?”

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    “All right, mate, since I like your attitude (it’s much better than the sniveling plum I usually have to deal with), I’ll let that bit about the circus slide. This once.”

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    Hunter snarls, “I mean, I’m not YOU. How will this stuff even work? If you would have sent me a unique villain costume and my own glasses and hat, well, that would have been different.”

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    Scratching his chin, Mr. Sausages says, “All right, I see your point. Since you aren’t salivating over my shameless self-promotion, I’ll do something special just for you. I know a bloke who’s in the business of making wishing wells. I’ll send one over. Seems they like LOADS of money. Greedy little buggers, they are. When it’s in a ripe mood, ask it anything and it will give you your request. Sound fair enough?”

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    Hunter thinks about it then holds up his hand. “Not buying it, Sausages. What would I do with a wishing well? I don’t need people to make wishes. I need to conquer the world.”

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    Sausage grins evilly. “The wishing well does people in...if you know what I mean. You never know when it will strike.”

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    Scratching at his mustachio, Hunter finally says, “Throw in a Sausage original designed villain costume made especially for me and it’s a deal.”

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    Mr. Sausage gazes toward the heavens. “Like taking plasma juice from a vampire. You never told me he was this dim, Creator.”

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    (***EYES POP*** Did you just speak to me, Mr. Sausages?)

    “Of course. You know I’m omnipotent, omniscient as well as immortal. I can see and hear all.”

    (Really...well, then you know very well that I won’t allow that wishing well to kill anyone and all of your murdering antics are over. Now get your plum back to the hovel I made for you and leave Hunter alone!)

    But instead of drooping his head and wisely going home, he only laughs maniacally. “Muahahahahaaa!”

    (**scratches head** I don’t get it.)

    And then he saunters away, still laughing.

    Hunter glares at me. “Thanks, Creator. You insulted him. Now I’ll never get that Sausage original costume I’ve always wanted.”

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    (Something tells me I should be very worried.)
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  • roseinblack69roseinblack69 Posts: 4,070 Member
    LOL :D I liked Mr. Sausage's "gift" and Hunter's reaction :D But I guess it wasn't their last meeting :)
  • anaitapevaanaitapeva Posts: 917 Member
    That was too funny! Hunter still got some gifts, he should be happy, LOL
  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 12,262 Member
    anaitapeva wrote: »
    That was too funny! Hunter still got some gifts, he should be happy, LOL

    Hunter is a brat! Lol! He should be grateful! Sausages charges tons of money for that stuff!
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  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 12,262 Member
    LOL :D I liked Mr. Sausage's "gift" and Hunter's reaction :D But I guess it wasn't their last meeting :)

    Yes...you might see Mr. Sausages again!
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  • Spottydog714Spottydog714 Posts: 2,518 Member
    Oh, wow. I laughed so hard about 'omnipotent and omniscient', especially since you didn't follow it up with 'all loving!' or 'omnipresent'. This just gets better and better! When are you going to find Hunter a spouse? I want to know how that affects his behavior! :)
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  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 12,262 Member
    Oh, wow. I laughed so hard about 'omnipotent and omniscient', especially since you didn't follow it up with 'all loving!' or 'omnipresent'. This just gets better and better! When are you going to find Hunter a spouse? I want to know how that affects his behavior! :)

    Next episode Hunter will find his woman in a surprising way! Lol!
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  • SeaDragonSongSeaDragonSong Posts: 2,324 Member
    Oh my word, I NEED THAT EPISODE xD
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  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 12,262 Member
    edited April 2016
    Chapter 2.4

    Stinky and sad, Hunter makes himself a delicious meal.

    (Cheer up, Hunter! You’ve got an amazing home and a job. What more could you want?)

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    “Things aren’t going well, Creator. I’m not the evil superpower I’ve always dreamed about. And Buzzkill was right. Women don’t notice me anymore. I’ve lost it.”

    (What is..”it”?)

    “The manly Rex family trait that woman swoon and worship us. You’ve seen my father.”

    (I try not to think about that.)

    “Well...it just makes me...gloomy.”

    (Go take a shower. That should cheer you up!)

    Slowly, Hunter enters the bathroom, but before he can get to the toilet...

    FAIL!

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    (**wipes face** Okay, this calls for drastic measures. Hunter, after you clean up that drool off the floor, you need to call one of the ladies in your contacts. I’m sure someone would want to go on a date with you!)

    Hunter yawns as he uses the toilet. “No, Creator, I’m much too tired. I think I’ll retire for today. Super villains need their beauty rest, too, you know.”

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    (**eyeroll** You do that then.)

    Instantly, Hunter falls asleep, dreaming about love (or the lack of it).

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    The following morning, I chirp in Hunter’s ear.

    (Oh, Hunter!)

    “What, Creator? Did you know I’m not a morning person? I don’t like to be accosted by you until at least 3 pm.”

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    (Ha ha...you’re such a comedian. Listen, I’m serious. You’re not getting any younger and this family needs kids. Look up one of those girls you knew from high school. I’m sure one of them would love to go out with you.)

    “When Father said you were a pain in the neck, he wasn’t kidding. Listen, I will do this my way without YOUR interference. Now dissolve before I lose my temper!”

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    So Hunter decides to watch horror flicks all day.

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    (Now will you do something about your love life? You’re wasting time!)

    Hunter thrusts his hand over his mouth. “Eek! Who knew bunnies were so scary?”

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    (Sigh...he just ignores me.)

    “Oh, okay. If you will stop blathering long enough, I have a spectacular idea that will even please the likes of you.”

    (*wicked smile* It’s about time you decided to listen to me. Who are you going to call?)

    “No one.”

    (Huh? You think someone is going to just magically appear? **Laughs**)

    And then I see Hunter flipping a coin into the wishing well before I can stop him.

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    (What are you DOING????)

    “Isn’t it obvious? I’m wishing for a sidekick, I mean...wife!”

    (B-But...I stammer and stutter...b-b-but that well is from MR. SAUSAGES! It’s EVIL!!!)

    “Naturally. An evil well for an evil guy.” He wiggles his eyebrows.

    But then the well spews angry red sparks at him.

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    (I think you are going to be sorry...)

    “Oh crud. What have I done?”

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    The evil well laughs maniacally as it blasts hunter in fire red explosions.

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    And in a cloud of black smoke, a woman appears.

    “See, Creator? All is well.”

    (Humph. We’ll see about that.)

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    “Hello, my dear. I am your knight in black evil armour. My name is Hunter the Magnificent. And you are?”

    “I am Keira Rawls and I lovingly hate your guts.”

    (Oh my!)

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    Hunter claps. “She’s PERFECT!”

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    (**Hits head** UGH!)
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  • roseinblack69roseinblack69 Posts: 4,070 Member
    Wow! :o I hope that woman will not be a monster... And I have a question - did that woman came from wishing well? My sims tried it before but anyone didn't appear although the magic well was in good mood that time :/
  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 12,262 Member
    edited April 2016
    Wow! :o I hope that woman will not be a monster... And I have a question - did that woman came from wishing well? My sims tried it before but anyone didn't appear although the magic well was in good mood that time :/

    Yes! She literally appeared in a mist of black smoke! I was too stunned to get the smoke! And she's PERFECT for Hunter! Later, I will whisk her to CAS to give her clothing and style but she's from the game. She's really gorgeous as you will see in the next chapters!
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  • Spottydog714Spottydog714 Posts: 2,518 Member
    Well. Either you have a love/hate relationship or a evil wife. We'll see. Love the update! :)
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  • SeaDragonSongSeaDragonSong Posts: 2,324 Member
    xD Hunter (despite his beliefs) won't see there's something wrong until it's too late
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  • Persefona711Persefona711 Posts: 356 Member
    awesome chapter, I love how Hunter pick a wife :D
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  • anaitapevaanaitapeva Posts: 917 Member
    Enemies with benefits, omg! This couple will be really fun to watch! :D
  • SeaDragonSongSeaDragonSong Posts: 2,324 Member
    edited April 2016
    So I just had my first set of twins in my Garland-Munch family, and the middle son, Greyson, as adult looks a lot like a certain [pain in the neck] current (I forgot heir? something?) of your ISBI

    That's him in my profile picture
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  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 12,262 Member
    edited April 2016
    So I just had my first set of twins in my Garland-Munch family, and the middle son, Greyson, as adult looks a lot like a certain [pain in the neck] current (I forgot heir? something?) of your ISBI

    That's him in my profile picture

    Lol! He does look a lot like Hunter --aka pain-in-the-neck. :lol: (for ISBI's they're called torch holders) Funny!
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  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 12,262 Member
    edited May 2016
    Chapter 2.5

    The woman that just materialized from the evil well changes into some strange clothing.

    “Ah...” she says, “this looks like a place where my activities will not be noticed.”

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    Hunter twirls his mustache in his fingers. “May I say you look ravishing? Is this your villain’s costume? Impressive! What do the underlings of the world call you, my dear girlfriend?”

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    Glaring under her mask, she answers, “They call me Medusa the Cruel, and if you weren’t the pathetic ape you are, you would bow at my feet!”

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    “Of course, my little death flower. Anything you wish.” Hunter bows low.

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    (Hunter! What are you doing? May I remind you that this is YOUR house that I made for YOU?? Not her! How dare she come in and order you around? You better show her who’s boss or you will regret it!)

    “Um...er...well, my sweet cowplant, I just need to clear up a few things before I show you to our...ahem...bedroom. I am the one who pays the bills therefore...I am really the one in charge. Okay, evilcheeks?”

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    The woman starts to giggle at first. Then her hoots grow into full belly laughs.. Hunter chortles with her, doubling over.

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    “My, my...you are a funny man. What is your name?”

    “Hunter the Invincible.”

    “Yes...Hunter the Insufferable.” She snaps her fingers. “If you even think I’m going to spend the night in your bed then you WILL bow before me both day and night or you will regret your birth from your very unfortunate mother.” Pointing to the ground she yells, “BOW!”

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    Nodding and bowing like a whipped puppy, Hunter yelps, “Of course, my queen. Anything you say. Just don’t lock me out tonight! I’m your boy toy...right?”

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    (***rolls eyes*** Oh, come on, Hunter! She’s not worth it! There are other, very nice girls out there in the world. Heck, I’ll even make you a special girl of your dreams. DUMP HER!)

    Through clenched teeth as Hunter lays prostrate on the ground before this ridiculous woman, he says to me, “Shut up, Creator! This IS the woman of my dreams. She even carries her own villainess costume! How perfect is that?”

    (**Sigh** All right...but I’m going to be ready with the I-told-you-so’s and it’s going to feel good.)

    Suddenly, Hunter gets a text:

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    “See, Creator? Mom is happy so you should be happy.”

    (**Folds arms** Just wait until Kaila gets to meet your “little death flower”. She just might keel over.)

    “Fun sucker. There’s no talking to you. Okay, I’ve had enough of Creator for today, so if you could go on mute, I’d be happy.”

    (Not happening.)

    Hunter swears at me then immediately stomps to his room and changes his look.

    (That’s a....different vibe. What’s up with the man bun?)

    “Didn’t you hear, Creator? Men with manbuns have more fun!”

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    (I’d agree with you except that you have a certifiable sociopath for a girlfriend, so I’m thinking she may kill you in your sleep if she doesn’t like it. You’re really throwing the dice here.)

    Shaking his head, he says, “You’ll see!” Walking into the bathroom, he is surprised to see Keira there. “Ah...it’s my death flower looking so beautiful. What is that smell? Nightpath Nectar?”

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    He leans in and whispers, “I want to sniff you all night.”

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    Keira laughs and says, “Stop it with the talking and kiss me, you dimwitted dolt!”

    Wasting no time, Hunter lays a sloppy smooch on Keira, sending shockwaves through his body.

    (And I have to turn my head...ick!)

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    “Wow, Creator! Now who is going to do the I-told-you-so’s?”

    (*Shakes head** This relationship is far too young to do any smug celebrations. You’re in the honeymoon phase is all.)

    “She loves me, Creator. I can feel it.”

    (She also hates you.)

    “Well, you can’t have everything.”

    (**Hits head**)

    Later on, Hunter has dinner with his brother, Levi. “And she is the best kisser, Lee. You really should get one.”

    “And all I have to do is wish for a girl?”

    “Yeah. It’s that simple.”

    (Hunter...I don’t think we need another crazy girl in this house! You’ve heard of angelfish...right? They eat each other if you have more than one in the tank. These women would rip each other apart!)

    “Shush, Creator. Don’t spoil Levi’s fun.”

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    “That sounds cool, Hunter! I think I’ll try it!”

    (**wipes face** Oh no...we’ll never have another normal moment in the house!)

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    (Uh...Hunter? I think you better be over your little cowplant. She’s doing something with your computer files in your office.)

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    “Huh?”

    Hunter rushes to his office only to find it vacated. Quickly, he scans his computer and moans.

    (What’s wrong?)

    “According to this, all my files...everything...all money, plans, stocks, have been wiped out. I’m broke!”

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    (Um...how would you like the I-told-you-so’s? One at a time or all at once?)

    “KEIRA!” Hunter roars.
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  • SeaDragonSongSeaDragonSong Posts: 2,324 Member
    I'm sorry Hunter, but you asked for it lol
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  • anaitapevaanaitapeva Posts: 917 Member
    That serves him well for not listening to his creator, LOL!!!
  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 12,262 Member
    anaitapeva wrote: »
    That serves him well for not listening to his creator, LOL!!!

    EXACTLY! :lol:
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  • roseinblack69roseinblack69 Posts: 4,070 Member
    Awww... It seems you aren't the one and only evil genius now, Hunter :D
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