Wait wait ... isn't there a mod that lets you create buffs? Can someone make a Mr Sausages buff set? or maybe in honor of the underlying lesson of the thread it should just be a +50 happy buff, no matter what's happening as a result of being near mr sausages, so even if they fix the emotions, mr sausages can still reign supreme.
Well, consider poor Death's task list in this game: Collect 2 Sims dead by burning, collect 3 Sims dead by starvation, collect 1 Sim dead by alien encounter, collect 8 Sims dead of overexertion from circling the neighborhood area20 times during the heat of the day with no shade . . . .
would make a nice Death As Usual career GP
with exactly those tasks to perform io to get promoted to Grim Reaper
i won't be participating in the forums & the gallery anymore - thanks EA
I love your series! I'll definitely be downloading some Mr.Sausage merch for my sims too
Also found you on the gallery and downloaded your households, I really love 'em
"We would like to inform everyone” said the receptionist of FutureSims Labs, “that the highly acclaimed Nobel Prize winner and Principle Research Scientist, Oscar P. Colon will be visiting us in the next hour, in an effort to help secure our grant for our severely underfunded research facilities.”
“Please do your best to enlighten Dr. Colon,” she added, opening up the message on her computer screen, “I hear he is very approachable, as his email states that he loves nothing more than helping out struggling visionaries and can't wait to hear what we have to say”
“Do I plum as like!!” snarled the man dressed in a full hot-dog outfit, flicking ash onto the surgically spotless lab technician.
“Why in Plum do you think I would be interested in what you Guinea-pigs had to say!”
“And further more.” he frothed, “I find it disgusting that someone as important as me should be left waiting here for over two minutes while you babble on warning your lab rats about my arrival.
I knew if I came in early I would see the true underbelly of corruption and sycophancy at work here. Well you are not getting a penny out of me, especially as I know for a fact that less than a day ago, you were delivering a pizza to my home address”
“Oh Dr. Colon!!! I'm so sorry” blurted the young lady, bursting into tears, “Please forgive me!”
Sausages laughed.
“Hah, don't worry Pizza face, I'm not Dr Colon, I'm just here for the new lab assistant job. Mr. Sausages is the name.”
“Ah, thank goodness!” she sighed. “Phew, you really had me going then, what a relief! Well if you could quickly settle in before Dr. Colon arrives. We really want to give a professional first impression to the great man”
“Nah, don't worry about that,” said Mr. Sausages, I sent that email for a bit of a laugh last night. Got his name of Simpedia. Your funding's still up plum creek. Which way to the dangerous chemicals love?"
Mr Sausages found his way into the main laboratory, and was greeted by head scientist Anne Smade
“So you're the new lab assistant?” she said chirpily, “I would like to welcome you to FureSim Labs.”
“Yeah, whatever pinky!” grunted Sausages “What is it with all the home help around here? You're usually a maid for some grotty little dive aren't you? And this one here's the local gardener. I've watched her pruning her tulips through my telescope many a time”
“Well, I guess it's not important you lot not being qualified for the role.” said Sausages grabbing a nearby vial. “I'm on a complete skive here myself. I know as much about science as I do charisma.
I'm just here to get some stuff for my recreational violence weekend. So you lot just knock yourselves out with your little fantasies, and if you don't get in my way I won't knock you out with a hammer.”
“How very dare you, I have no idea what you are referring to” scorned Anne.
“We have always been here, and have all worked very very hard for the last twelve minutes before you teleported here, and we have earned our statuses fully!! I won't have you belittle us like that.”
“OK, I'm off now Miss Gardiner!” waved Miss Smade.
“Please watch out for our new employee, especially being as he's drinking that sample taken from that Interstitial cystitis sufferer earlier this morning.”
“Tastes like Dr. Pepper” remarked Mr. Sausages, and went off to explore the lab.
“Ah,” he said after spotting another assistant, “and so you must be the alien!”
“What do you mean alien, ha ha ha haaa, no, no alien here! Just a regular personoid, in a lab coat ….being all normal and blending in.” said the visibly shaking lady.
“Why on Earth, my home – the Earth, would you think such a thing?”
“Stands to reason really,” mused Mr Sausages, “I've seen everyone else before in this lab, two gardeners, a pizza delivery girl and a maid– and being as I heard aliens in disguise were spawned into this plot line for later missions, it has to be you really doesn't it? – no need to call Mouldy and Scalder for this one”
“Don't sweat it.” said Mr. Sausages, examining the chemistry set for liquids.
“I personally couldn't care less if you're on a mission to wipe out the human race or whatever – certainly saves me the job anyway. Any idea if there's anymore of that guy's sample around here? I think it would work well with a bit of vodka”
“Just go, go try the other lab” said the lady, in an attempt to get rid of her accuser.
Whilst looking, Mr. Sausages came across a fantastic contraption and asked it what it was doing.
“Sir, I am a constructo-robot, I turn your dreams and inventions into reality” he replied smugly.
Mr. Sausages watched as it made a spinny weird object appear in-front of his very eyes.”
“Woaah, what's that you've just made?” Sausages asked.
“No idea," said the robot, "all I know is you will have to stare at it multiple times during your career for some reason, but don't worry – do it enough and you'll get the skills to make things yourself”
“So, you're telling me, if I actually knuckle down and actually do those things that are popping up in the top left of the screen, I'll be able to make spinny objects of my own??” asked Mr. Sausages. “Great.....Do they burn?”
“I make other things too you know, like hoverlamps and cloners, satellite dishes and freeze ray guns and portals to other dimensions and...”
“Woah woah woah!” interrupted Mr. Sausages, “Wind it back a bit BALL-E, did you say freeze ray gun?” Mr. Sausages cracked and evil smile.
“Oh yes, but you'll need the skills first Sir, A lowly lab technician won't be able to perform such a task.” synthetically sneered the robot
From that moment on Mr. Sausages knew what he had to do. It was going to be a long road ahead, with many hoops to jump through...
But he rose to the challenge, becoming a model employee. Serums were mixed, mouths was poked about in a bit and analysed, angry poops were pooped and Spinny weird objects were stared at fully with full focussed concentration.
He was even starting to enjoy his new chosen career, with each task pushing him to his limits.
At the end of the first day, he had reached his first moment of inspiration. He quickly raced off to the location where the instrument of his first major experiment resided. He was confident it would bring him the desired results he craved.
“That should do it” cackled Mr. Sausages, “Let's see how five scientists with full bladders can survive in a place with a knackered toilet.”
When Mr. Sausages got back from work that night, he knew he had to really commit to the challenge. He bought all the equipment he could, got a new bookcase full of self help books...
and started work on his very own space rocket. Although winners don't do drugs, Mr. Sausages concluded that because he was a loser, it would be fine to purchase and drink the many stimulants on offer in his rewards store to keep him awake, alive and active.
The next day his co-workers were overjoyed at the transformation of the previously hideous assistant, he really seem ready to impress, with a cheeky joke and a smile, and he didn't violently threaten anyone even slightly.
There were a few mishaps when he was completing his daily tasks...
but apart from that, the others were starting to think he was becoming a great asset to the team.
Near the end of the day, Mr. Sausages finally got what he was after
“Oh my overripe plums!” cooed Mr. Sausages. “It's beautiful”
“Yes, of course, come straight in Mr. Sausages” said Miss Gardiner in response to his over enthusiastic door knocking.
“I've just had a breakthrough!” yelped an excited Mr. Sausages. “I really should have prepared some amusing one liners like Arnie in that awful Batman sequel, but I really can't wait to test it out.....”
“So if you could do me a big favour and imagine I came out with a right zinger after doing this, I would really appreciate it” he said, realising his statement would be wasted on her anyway due to her typanic cavities being blocked with ice. "Hey, this science stuff is really effecting my vocabulary" he thought to himself.
“There you go Miss Kamijyo, I told you I'd get your seat back” said Mr. Sausages.
“Oooh, you are kind Mr. S” she said, gleefully sitting behind her old desk once more.
“How very dare you!!!” spat Mr. Sausages.
“No one, NO ONE! ever calls me that disgusting word!!!” he blurted.
“Change of heart Gardiner, you've had a reprieve.” said Mr. Sausages as he chiselled her free. “Oooh nice colour, it rather suits you, so are you OK now, or are you all brittle like that T1000 bloke when he fell in that nitrogen?”
“Ah, you seem fine to me” he parped.
“Well ladies, gotta dash, I've just noticed that a task has just popped up in the top corner for me to insult some tourists. It is a bit odd, but I'm a slave to the rules.” shouted Mr. Sausages as he sprinted outside to look for new victims.
“So let me get this straight” said the old lady in the tourist section. “You have designed a freeze ray gun, that only freezes Sims who don't react to other Sim's life threatening situations?”
“That's right Missus.” said Mr. Sausages, “All people who are completely oblivious to their fellow Sim's imminent danger get turned into popsicals with this gun, would you like to try it out?”
“That would be lovely” said the old lady as she rapidly iced up.
“So, I'm a little confused,” said the second tourist, “Did that work or not?”
“Well would you like to try it too?” said Mr. Sausages.
“Well I don't think I reacted to that atrocity I just saw you carry out just then, so let's give it a go and see if it freezes me too, then you'll know it's been a success.” said the lady with a cheerfully optimistic smile.
“What about you big fella?” said Mr. Sausages waving the gun for the third time.
“I love this gun! I love this gun! I love this gun!” said Mr. Sausages. “Well I would love to stick a few buttons and a carrot on you lot, but my shift's over in two minutes, and I have to put my gun away before teleportation.”
Back home, Mr Sausages was rather annoyed that Charlene from the lab had come 'round to hassle him.
“Look, I see enough of you at work, why do you think I would want to entertain you here too?” fumed Mr. Sausages.
“I mean, don't you have some Alien home world to go to? Go rub glowing fingers with ET or something”
“For the last time Sausages, I am not an alien!” seethed Charlene.
“See look!” she said, dropping to the ground and performing push-ups.
“Normal people do this all the time, see I'm a normal Sim just like the others.”
“Actually,” said Mr. Sausages. “She has a point....That is quite normal behaviour around here.”
“See look” said Charlene, dropping to the ground and performing push-ups.
“Normal people do this all the time, see I'm a normal Sim just like the others.”
“Actually,” said Mr. Sausages. “She has a point....That is quite normal behaviour around here.”
Comments
I guess serving sausage rolls at the fan club party will be out of the question. Too close to cannibalism, eh?
I'd suggest letting Mr Sausages name it but he'd probably just growl and say "plum you, plumming plums, get off my lawn"
So, we're the ''Plumming Plums!''
Sausage Plum Club
Plumming Plum Sausage Maniacs' Sausage Plum Club.
Or PPSMSPC for short.
with exactly those tasks to perform io to get promoted to Grim Reaper
Also found you on the gallery and downloaded your households, I really love 'em
"We would like to inform everyone” said the receptionist of FutureSims Labs, “that the highly acclaimed Nobel Prize winner and Principle Research Scientist, Oscar P. Colon will be visiting us in the next hour, in an effort to help secure our grant for our severely underfunded research facilities.”
“Please do your best to enlighten Dr. Colon,” she added, opening up the message on her computer screen, “I hear he is very approachable, as his email states that he loves nothing more than helping out struggling visionaries and can't wait to hear what we have to say”
“Do I plum as like!!” snarled the man dressed in a full hot-dog outfit, flicking ash onto the surgically spotless lab technician.
“Why in Plum do you think I would be interested in what you Guinea-pigs had to say!”
“And further more.” he frothed, “I find it disgusting that someone as important as me should be left waiting here for over two minutes while you babble on warning your lab rats about my arrival.
I knew if I came in early I would see the true underbelly of corruption and sycophancy at work here. Well you are not getting a penny out of me, especially as I know for a fact that less than a day ago, you were delivering a pizza to my home address”
“Oh Dr. Colon!!! I'm so sorry” blurted the young lady, bursting into tears, “Please forgive me!”
Sausages laughed.
“Hah, don't worry Pizza face, I'm not Dr Colon, I'm just here for the new lab assistant job. Mr. Sausages is the name.”
“Ah, thank goodness!” she sighed. “Phew, you really had me going then, what a relief! Well if you could quickly settle in before Dr. Colon arrives. We really want to give a professional first impression to the great man”
“Nah, don't worry about that,” said Mr. Sausages, I sent that email for a bit of a laugh last night. Got his name of Simpedia. Your funding's still up plum creek. Which way to the dangerous chemicals love?"
Mr Sausages found his way into the main laboratory, and was greeted by head scientist Anne Smade
“So you're the new lab assistant?” she said chirpily, “I would like to welcome you to FureSim Labs.”
“Yeah, whatever pinky!” grunted Sausages “What is it with all the home help around here? You're usually a maid for some grotty little dive aren't you? And this one here's the local gardener. I've watched her pruning her tulips through my telescope many a time”
“Well, I guess it's not important you lot not being qualified for the role.” said Sausages grabbing a nearby vial. “I'm on a complete skive here myself. I know as much about science as I do charisma.
I'm just here to get some stuff for my recreational violence weekend. So you lot just knock yourselves out with your little fantasies, and if you don't get in my way I won't knock you out with a hammer.”
“How very dare you, I have no idea what you are referring to” scorned Anne.
“We have always been here, and have all worked very very hard for the last twelve minutes before you teleported here, and we have earned our statuses fully!! I won't have you belittle us like that.”
“OK, I'm off now Miss Gardiner!” waved Miss Smade.
“Please watch out for our new employee, especially being as he's drinking that sample taken from that Interstitial cystitis sufferer earlier this morning.”
“Tastes like Dr. Pepper” remarked Mr. Sausages, and went off to explore the lab.
“Ah,” he said after spotting another assistant, “and so you must be the alien!”
“What do you mean alien, ha ha ha haaa, no, no alien here! Just a regular personoid, in a lab coat ….being all normal and blending in.” said the visibly shaking lady.
“Why on Earth, my home – the Earth, would you think such a thing?”
“Stands to reason really,” mused Mr Sausages, “I've seen everyone else before in this lab, two gardeners, a pizza delivery girl and a maid– and being as I heard aliens in disguise were spawned into this plot line for later missions, it has to be you really doesn't it? – no need to call Mouldy and Scalder for this one”
“Don't sweat it.” said Mr. Sausages, examining the chemistry set for liquids.
“I personally couldn't care less if you're on a mission to wipe out the human race or whatever – certainly saves me the job anyway. Any idea if there's anymore of that guy's sample around here? I think it would work well with a bit of vodka”
“Just go, go try the other lab” said the lady, in an attempt to get rid of her accuser.
Whilst looking, Mr. Sausages came across a fantastic contraption and asked it what it was doing.
“Sir, I am a constructo-robot, I turn your dreams and inventions into reality” he replied smugly.
Mr. Sausages watched as it made a spinny weird object appear in-front of his very eyes.”
“Woaah, what's that you've just made?” Sausages asked.
“No idea," said the robot, "all I know is you will have to stare at it multiple times during your career for some reason, but don't worry – do it enough and you'll get the skills to make things yourself”
“So, you're telling me, if I actually knuckle down and actually do those things that are popping up in the top left of the screen, I'll be able to make spinny objects of my own??” asked Mr. Sausages. “Great.....Do they burn?”
“I make other things too you know, like hoverlamps and cloners, satellite dishes and freeze ray guns and portals to other dimensions and...”
“Woah woah woah!” interrupted Mr. Sausages, “Wind it back a bit BALL-E, did you say freeze ray gun?” Mr. Sausages cracked and evil smile.
“Oh yes, but you'll need the skills first Sir, A lowly lab technician won't be able to perform such a task.” synthetically sneered the robot
From that moment on Mr. Sausages knew what he had to do. It was going to be a long road ahead, with many hoops to jump through...
But he rose to the challenge, becoming a model employee. Serums were mixed, mouths was poked about in a bit and analysed, angry poops were pooped and Spinny weird objects were stared at fully with full focussed concentration.
He was even starting to enjoy his new chosen career, with each task pushing him to his limits.
At the end of the first day, he had reached his first moment of inspiration. He quickly raced off to the location where the instrument of his first major experiment resided. He was confident it would bring him the desired results he craved.
“That should do it” cackled Mr. Sausages, “Let's see how five scientists with full bladders can survive in a place with a knackered toilet.”
If only Scientific Sausage Overlord was SOS.
Wait. SAUSAGE OVERLORD OF SCIENCE! it's mr sausages, SOS!
Sausage wall!
Photobomb...
Bring on the Sausage!!!
The edge of my seat is getting a lot of wear...
Yes it will.....but just think of him "interrogating" a prisoner or "treating a patient. He'll win no matter where he goes.
and started work on his very own space rocket. Although winners don't do drugs, Mr. Sausages concluded that because he was a loser, it would be fine to purchase and drink the many stimulants on offer in his rewards store to keep him awake, alive and active.
The next day his co-workers were overjoyed at the transformation of the previously hideous assistant, he really seem ready to impress, with a cheeky joke and a smile, and he didn't violently threaten anyone even slightly.
There were a few mishaps when he was completing his daily tasks...
but apart from that, the others were starting to think he was becoming a great asset to the team.
Near the end of the day, Mr. Sausages finally got what he was after
“Oh my overripe plums!” cooed Mr. Sausages. “It's beautiful”
“Yes, of course, come straight in Mr. Sausages” said Miss Gardiner in response to his over enthusiastic door knocking.
“I've just had a breakthrough!” yelped an excited Mr. Sausages. “I really should have prepared some amusing one liners like Arnie in that awful Batman sequel, but I really can't wait to test it out.....”
“So if you could do me a big favour and imagine I came out with a right zinger after doing this, I would really appreciate it” he said, realising his statement would be wasted on her anyway due to her typanic cavities being blocked with ice. "Hey, this science stuff is really effecting my vocabulary" he thought to himself.
“There you go Miss Kamijyo, I told you I'd get your seat back” said Mr. Sausages.
“Oooh, you are kind Mr. S” she said, gleefully sitting behind her old desk once more.
“How very dare you!!!” spat Mr. Sausages.
“No one, NO ONE! ever calls me that disgusting word!!!” he blurted.
“Change of heart Gardiner, you've had a reprieve.” said Mr. Sausages as he chiselled her free. “Oooh nice colour, it rather suits you, so are you OK now, or are you all brittle like that T1000 bloke when he fell in that nitrogen?”
“Ah, you seem fine to me” he parped.
“Well ladies, gotta dash, I've just noticed that a task has just popped up in the top corner for me to insult some tourists. It is a bit odd, but I'm a slave to the rules.” shouted Mr. Sausages as he sprinted outside to look for new victims.
“So let me get this straight” said the old lady in the tourist section. “You have designed a freeze ray gun, that only freezes Sims who don't react to other Sim's life threatening situations?”
“That's right Missus.” said Mr. Sausages, “All people who are completely oblivious to their fellow Sim's imminent danger get turned into popsicals with this gun, would you like to try it out?”
“That would be lovely” said the old lady as she rapidly iced up.
“So, I'm a little confused,” said the second tourist, “Did that work or not?”
“Well would you like to try it too?” said Mr. Sausages.
“Well I don't think I reacted to that atrocity I just saw you carry out just then, so let's give it a go and see if it freezes me too, then you'll know it's been a success.” said the lady with a cheerfully optimistic smile.
“What about you big fella?” said Mr. Sausages waving the gun for the third time.
“I love this gun! I love this gun! I love this gun!” said Mr. Sausages. “Well I would love to stick a few buttons and a carrot on you lot, but my shift's over in two minutes, and I have to put my gun away before teleportation.”
Back home, Mr Sausages was rather annoyed that Charlene from the lab had come 'round to hassle him.
“Look, I see enough of you at work, why do you think I would want to entertain you here too?” fumed Mr. Sausages.
“I mean, don't you have some Alien home world to go to? Go rub glowing fingers with ET or something”
“For the last time Sausages, I am not an alien!” seethed Charlene.
“See look!” she said, dropping to the ground and performing push-ups.
“Normal people do this all the time, see I'm a normal Sim just like the others.”
“Actually,” said Mr. Sausages. “She has a point....That is quite normal behaviour around here.”
Bizarre, but too true!