I am waiting outside the prison with an army of cats. You are so taken by their beauty that you drop the cookie and I steal it. I then file a restraining order so you can never steal my cookie again.
The court, however, denies your request, and are instead punished with community service because you wasted the court's time. I, the judge, then walk down from my podium and take off my Wig and Gown, laughing as I watch you through the window, standing outside picking up litter, whilst holding the cookie they confiscated off you as you entered the court.
One my community service exercises is helping at a soup kitchen, which happens to make cookies. I create a batch of counterfeit cookies and sneak into your house one night, leaving them everywhere and taking the real cookie. When you realize what has happened, you fall into a pit of despair and take some tome off your job as the judge to mourn your loss.
You celebrate your success with a long vacation but you leave the cookie on the kitchen table. I break into your house and escape with the cookie. We run to Las Vegas and await your revenge.
I am a perfectly decrepit withered old hag who enjoys self-mockery.
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I happen to be in the same casino as you in vegas i ask you if you'd like to gamble the cookie you say yes, i eventually win the cookie fair and square and i take the next flight off to an undisclosed location
I am at the airport where you change planes and see that you have the cookie I had fought over a few months ago so I take it from the TSA when they confiscate it from you at security for no reason at all. I catch a flight back to Vegas, with the cookie in hand.
I report the missing cookie to the TSA. When you land, they confiscate it and give it to me. I report to the police that you were involved stealing my cookie and that I have DNA evidence (your saliva on the cookie).
Unfortunately, nobody takes the crime of stealing a cookie seriously and the police brush you off. I run outside the airport just as you hail a taxi and I sneak into the trunk.
When you get into an argument with the driver about the fare at the end of the ride, I sneak into the backseat and steal the cookie! Then I pay your fare because I'm a nice person and I feel bad about taking the cookie.
Before you can give it back though, I turn around from the steering wheel and snatch the cookie out of your hand (yes that's right, I was your taxi driver). I then slam my foot on the pedal, reaching speeds of almost 100mph, and end up driving off the edge of a cliff - I survive however, because I jump out from the taxi with a parachute and gently glide away into the sunset.
I was still in the car, and you left the cookie in the car because you were so focused on getting away without dying. I report you to the police and this time they take me seriously because I almost died. They launch a manhunt for you and lock the cookie away in Siberia, in a safe box only I know the passcode to.
Whilst working as a security guard at the location of the lockbox, I see you on CCTV and chase you until you are tripped up by my booby trap- fifty bananas painted the same colour as the floor. After you fall, I collect the cookie and board the next flight to Russia.
Because I managed to break out of jail, I decided that migrating to another country would be a smart decision - coincidentally I happened to board the same flight as you, and also happen to sit next to you (unfortunately I was allocated the middle seat, which was kinda annoying but never mind). Mid-flight I notice the cookie sticking out of your pocket, but I thought stealing it would be too easy - so I just stole your passport instead.
When we land in Russia and arrive at security, you frantically check your pockets for your passport but realise it's not there. Security come to take you away - as the guards drag you away by your wrists you plead your innocence, but no one can understand English in Russia. I, who was originally standing behind you, then notice the cookie lying in the floor (it must've fallen out as your were emptying your pockets); I pick the cookie up, go through security, collect my suitcase, and take a taxi to Moscow.
I steal plumbob's idea of becoming of taxi driver. I recognize you. I'm still angry over almost dying when you drove me away from the airport and I make up a fake rule that you have to be searched before you board taxis in Russia. As a clueless English-speaking tourist you go right along with it. During the search I take the cookie and drop my oblivious passenger in Moscow. I then board a flight to Lagos. (edited because the country lagos is in is censored, idk why)
I steal plumbob's idea of becoming of taxi driver. I recognize you. I'm still angry over almost dying when you drove me away from the airport and I make up a fake rule that you have to be searched before you board taxis in Russia. As a clueless English-speaking tourist you go right along with it. During the search I take the cookie and drop my oblivious passenger in Moscow. I then board a flight to Lagos. (edited because the country lagos is in is censored, idk why)
The first three letters of that country are plummed to plummery.
Anyway, I arrive in Lagos with a weather machine and create a hurricane. In the ensuing chaos I find you and the cookie and make my escape on an armoured raft.
I am a perfectly decrepit withered old hag who enjoys self-mockery.
Need help falling asleep? http://wry7000.blogspot.com/
That must have been a very strong blizzard that you created, because the wind managed to snatch the cookie right out of your hand and blew the cookie all the way from Lagos to Moscow. Somehow, It conveniently managed to land right in my back pocket, as I was walking back to the airport to catch the next flight back home.
On your way through customs the guards find the cookie and confiscate it on the ground that you're importing something that might cause problems. They send it back to Lagos where I'm waiting to collect it.
I am a perfectly decrepit withered old hag who enjoys self-mockery.
Need help falling asleep? http://wry7000.blogspot.com/
I report you for being unethical and claim the package was mine. The other mailing system workers don't bother to check the honesty of my claim and they let me have the cookie. I then fly to Korea and rent a room in downtown Busan.
When you check out the hotel, you realise that you can't afford to pay for you room. I, the person behind the counter, notice the outline of a cookie in your pocket and say: "That! That'll be sufficient" You're very reluctant to, but after realising you have no alternative, you hand the cookie over.
Cthulu is waiting at your door when you get home. You are so shocked by his invite to party that you drop the cookie and I catch it with a butterfly net.
I am a perfectly decrepit withered old hag who enjoys self-mockery.
Need help falling asleep? http://wry7000.blogspot.com/
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Need help falling asleep? http://wry7000.blogspot.com/
I can't resist. I take a bite of the cookie.
When you get into an argument with the driver about the fare at the end of the ride, I sneak into the backseat and steal the cookie! Then I pay your fare because I'm a nice person and I feel bad about taking the cookie.
When we land in Russia and arrive at security, you frantically check your pockets for your passport but realise it's not there. Security come to take you away - as the guards drag you away by your wrists you plead your innocence, but no one can understand English in Russia. I, who was originally standing behind you, then notice the cookie lying in the floor (it must've fallen out as your were emptying your pockets); I pick the cookie up, go through security, collect my suitcase, and take a taxi to Moscow.
The first three letters of that country are plummed to plummery.
Anyway, I arrive in Lagos with a weather machine and create a hurricane. In the ensuing chaos I find you and the cookie and make my escape on an armoured raft.
Need help falling asleep? http://wry7000.blogspot.com/
Need help falling asleep? http://wry7000.blogspot.com/
Just vibing...
Check out my stories The Diversity Club and Lost Pride here on the forums!
Need help falling asleep? http://wry7000.blogspot.com/
Need help falling asleep? http://wry7000.blogspot.com/