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So many of you are so lucky you can "move on" or "just get over it" or "ignore it"
brendhan21
Posts: 3,427 Member
I feel like so many of you are so lucky you let nothing bother you I wish I could do that but I feel like so much gets under my skin so easily and I just cant handle it and keep inside of me. So many of you are so lucky you have an outlet maybe or you can focus on other things or just not think about it. I wish I could be like that but its just not me and yes thats bad because it leads me taking out my frusturations on other people or giving uncalled for rudeness and I wish I could stop and be like you and not feel the urge to lash out on people but I do and I do not know how to stop it.
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Maybe one day we can both figure out a better way to deal with stuff. I'm trying to figure it out too. We all got a nice package of stuff to deal with, huh? x) Maybe we'll all figure it out one day.
yes well being myself means quite frankly caring about things and having things bother me and being upset about them.
They bother you because you keep on wishing you could be like other people who don't bother to be upset. That's the problem. You'd be surprised to know how many people out there worry about things as well. But they try to learn from it and just move on.
You're not putting any effort to do that but you just keep on whining about wishing you were someone else. Try to focus more on yourself and fixing that instead of looking at other people and just assuming that other people can easily 'move on'.
You don't actually know what's in their head. They may be saying that they've gotten over it, but do you actually know? No.
First of all whatever I say here is no excuse to accept being hurt or abused at home. If you are being abused at home and you do not feel safe as a child teen or adult get help, from a teacher a neighbor, Doctor, even calling the police. whatever just get help.
Now having said the most important things.
Let's talk about anger, first know that everyone feels anger sometimes. even everyone on this forum.
People here understand the forum rules, no swearing, no fighting. so we can not show anger for the most part, yes some do get around that a little but not much, they do not want the mods to know. lol.
(Example of what may trigger anger.)
Ok someone at work, home or school was very mean to you, or hurt you in some way. you could not do anything about it so you got very angry, and kept it inside. until you were walking to your room and your dog got too close to your leg, you got mad and kicked your dog hard. Maybe someone got mad and yelled at you for hurting the dog. you lashed out and called someone you love a name a bad name.
What just happened? Psychologists call it displaced aggression, but most of us recognize it as the kick-the-dog effect. Anger and frustration in one part of life can lead us to lash out at innocent people (or pets).
Why did you do that?
The key is rumination, a destructive—and common—mental habit. Rumination is what you do when you repeatedly relive an experience in your mind, replaying it, reviewing it, and reinterpreting it. It plays a major role in depression—pushing people over the edge from a temporary sad mood into a major, lasting sadness. The habit can also turn a nervous person into someone truly suffering from anxiety.
So when faced with a trivial annoyance—like a clumsy dog—you go ballistic.
Pay attention to how long you allow yourself to replay an infuriating scenario in your head.
Things you can do to help control anger,
go for a jog or jog in your room any kind of workout even a jump rope.
Play music that you love.
Watch a funny movie, keep watching funny movies until you feel better. (never watch a violent movie when you're already mad. never watch a movie about abuse when you already sad, or angry. it will only add to your sadness or feel more anger.)
Play video games. or play the sims.
Draw a picture.
Talk to an adult family member that's nice. Not someone that will help you stay angry.
The fact that you do not like what you do when your angry shows you're a nice person at heart.
find a way to control it and stop it from getting you in trouble.
Just say no to your anger. No, you will not do something mean to your dog, or anyone. No, you will not destroy something.
Why not?
Because Prison is full of people that refuse to control their anger. and thought they had the right to do what they did to someone else or to destroy property.
(do not let friends get you to do bad things just because they are angry, do not run to fights that are not yours.)
I have knows some people that feel they have a right to steal because they are mad or angry. but they end up in jail for that.
So you're already a nice person, So just get help.
Remember if you do not ask for help yourself, you will never get help.
Always know it's better to just go home and not prison.
Even telling your doctor how you feel, they will help you get help as well.
This does not mean something is wrong with you everyone will need help in their life at some point.
Wishing you the best.
Who said EA doesn't have a sense of humor
I am assuming this is not as serious as a medical condition (like some may have suggested the possibility of anger management), but if it is then you can get the proper help from professionals.
Legacy: https://www.theplumtreeapp.com/public.html#59acd9dc03a89f01b73bbf4e
Not so Berry: https://www.theplumtreeapp.com/public.html#596592475e3b3a0e268e7f7f
Family Dynamics: https://theplumtreeapp.com/public.html#5b565bffcb9247000fe6d4d4
well they tell me they do get over it?
The decision was very easy to find, but hard to make real, but I did that. I decided that I need to love myself more. Some people say they have nothing to be loved, but that ain't true. Everyone has that reason|couple of reasons to love himself|herself, you just have too look for it very carefully. When you love yourself, you accept yourself and you always forgive yourself if something goes wrong, you follow your dreams and do anything you want (unless if that's something that can hurt other people).
for example, i was at the grocery store the other day. i'm a young(ish) person, but i use a cane, due to injury; i can't stand or walk for long periods of time, meaning that i have to use a cart or wheelchair when i'm out running errands. and, for some reason, people think this is hilarious.
they stare, laugh, gawk, point, what have you. and i've gotten so used to it that i just go about my routine like i don't even see them. but, if you're one of those people, chances are i'm fantasizing about running over your foot with the cart or walloping your ankle with my cane hard enough that you need to walk with one too. but purposely injuring someone, even if they instigate/deserve it, is illegal, so i bite my tongue and just keep not-walking along.
i'm definitely not a 'don't worry, be happy' kind of person; i worry a lot, about everything, and i internalize stress like it's no one's business. i used to channel any negative emotions into physical activity, but i can't do any of that stuff with an ankle that shattered in 3 places and is still healing almost 7 months later. i've got nothing but endless hours in my own head. but it is what it is.
however, if you're raging to the point that you're at risk of harming yourself or someone else, you should be seeing a medical professional.
I am a serial perfectionist. I will strive for perfectionism in the strangest ways and completely disregard activities on the same whim.
I'm also super sensitive. I have a very very emotional/deep heart, I feel things deeply. When things hurt me, they hurt me deeper than other people seem to hurt. When I'm upset, I'm truly enraged and I develop a "mean spirited" rage w/ leads me to do bad things to good people.
Frankly, I'm human. I'm not perfect. I only aspire to perfection. ;)
The thing to remember here is that - you're not alone in all this feeling. You're not the only person that says mean things when they're upset, you're not the only person who thinks about causing someone else harm, you're not the only human on this planet.
I'm not going to tell you to get over it, I'm not going to tell you to be yourself. I'm going to say: there is always time to try something different.
The next time you mouth off on the forum, take the time to apologize to that person afterward. It doesn't matter how they react to that apology. The point is that by the end of the day you know that you've done what you can to try a different way.
The next time the world is closing in on you and you can't seem to breathe - don't hold it inside. RANT. Even if you're just talking to yourself, even if you're just writing it on a napkin. Say all the horrible, mean things you can think off. Get it off your chest.
Speak or write until you run out of things to say. You might find that just expressing those thoughts somewhere safe is good stress relief.
The next time that someone makes you feel inferior: remember that you are your worst critic. Instead of internalizing all that negativity, I'd make yourself leave a comment on that person's house, sims, whatever. Force yourself to describe what you like about the piece.
Force yourself to face the people you think you hate.
Chances are, they want to help you. Chances are, they'll understand. If they don't, that's okay too. You did something different this time. You controlled yourself. No one can think a bad thing about you but yourself - and that's a win.
Your relationship with yourself will change as you age. All you can do is strive to be at peace with who you are.
Also, I believe we all have a purpose or a place. If you're not great at houses, maybe pair up with someone who is and decorate. If you're not fantastic at Sims, pair up with someone who is and create households and stories together.
Remember, that your self worth is unique to you. No one can take it away. No one can give it you. It's one of the few things that is truly yours.
-SD
Buzz Lightyear: You are a sad, strange little man. Farewell.