I'm Scared and Really Need Moral Support «12...Next Go

DarkSuperNinja

Basically, I had ITP last year (an autoimmune disorder where your antibodies destroy your platelets) and I had to go on a really high dose of prednisolone for 3 months, and it was the worst 3 months of my whole life. Even now, my appetite is nearly non-existent, and that time of my life has got the nice little status of being the WORST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME (it beats Gender Dysphoria and Depression any day lol).

Anyways, I went on anti depressants recently, which have an extremely rare side effect of triggering off ITP. However, we all decided that I should try them anyway, especially since I was basically suicidal at the time; these tablets were my best bet to not intentionally popping my clogs, basically! And they are working; I FINALLY FEEL NORMAL AGAIN AFTER A YEAR THANK GOD!

However, the celebration has only lasted a month because SURPRISE: My ITP has been triggered, I'm starting to get bruises and purpura gradually on my legs again, and I'm FREAKING OUT!

I know freaking out will just make everything worse, and it won't anything to help, but I'm absolutely terrified. Especially since before, there was a small chance that it WASN'T CHRONIC, but this basically 100% proves that my ITP is chronic, and it's something that will be trolling me for the rest of my life.

Also, if I get ITP again, it might screw up my Gender Dysphoria surgeries and hormones, and I won't be able to take the same depression medication again, even though it's working so well for me!

TL;DR: I HATE ITP UGHHHH WHY ARE MY ANTIBODIES GOING "Lolz let's destroy an important component of the body, it's not like he needs platelets to function or anything lolzor"?!

DeKay

Dang, where do I even start?

I'm sorry you have to go through all of this. I don't know if you can even get enough moral support online but all I can say is: Just stay strong. It will get better soon. Sending you hugs!!!

icmnfrsh

Yeah, the immune system can be weird sometimes. Here's hoping for the best

Purrdalecki

Oh no, I'm so sorry. I've personally never been on antidepressants, but... I did try smth else, though. I'm sorry if this doesn't seem helpful to you, but when I was feeling really awful mentally, I tried a few things and for a time I was the happiest I'd ever been my whole life. Past tense bc recovery isn't a straight line, but that's okay, bc in the end you're still trying and you have a goal in a sight.

First thing was, I returned to things from my childhood that I know made me happy. It can be anything. A former favourite show, a band you really used to like, a hobby that meant a lot to you. It doesn't have to be from childhood, either. I just brought back things from that part of my life bc that's when I remember being happiest. For me, what did it was watching Merlin again, listening to more upbeat music I liked from when I was younger (Pendulum, etc.), and I started reading everyday again. They are tiny things but sometimes they can make a big difference.

My sister told me to give myself something to live for, like taking care of my pets, of finding out the end of a show. I don't know how antidepressants work, but I'm pretty happy with the alternative I had for them, which were my individual methods. They were little but sometimes a little thing can help a lot. My motivation for a while was the next season of supernatural, what I had to live for. That was it. It doesn't have to be something complex or big.

Another one of my methods was to save something good for the end of the bad days, as a kind of a motivator or reward. I loathed Sundays, Sundays marked the end of the weekend, which meant Monday had to come. I hated Mondays. So I saved my favourite shows for Sundays. If I felt like sad bc I felt I wasn't productive, I baked something at the end of a Sunday. I can't pinpoint exactly how you feel personally, and I apologize for that, it would be amazing if we were capable of that, but I can pinpont how I felt and hope that my solutions help you in some shape or form.

It sucked that one of the things making me sad was that I wasn't doing anything, but doing anything made me sad as well. It's tiring ad exhausting and horrible to get ready and put your clothes on and brush your teeth... But it is worth it, in my experience, anyway. Getting ready is really hard but you feel rewarded in the end, it gives you a confidence boost. You don't have to make yourself look catwalk ready, although that does help confidence too, and if you feel you could give it a go, then by all means, do, but it's totally okay to have a short shower and get into a hoodie and some underwear. It's an achievement in itself, if you can put on some clothes that you feel good in and style yourself, that's great, but even if not, you still got up, which is your way of saying I'm ready to face this day. And if you don't, that's totally okay to, we all need our breaks and our rest, but if you can motivate yourself to get up and face the day then believe me when I say it feels really rewarding.

I'll say upbeat music again bc for me it really helped. It probably sounds stupid, but if you can get your hands on some dance music or dubstep or anything that is fast-paced and happy, it can help a lot. I'm going to embarrass myself now but I do like to dance and exercise does release the happy hormones to your brain so if you have the opportunity to, then take it. You don't have to force yourself, and it doesn't have to be conventional exercise, it can be as light or heavy exercise as you want. I favour dancing, but you don't have to be talented at what you're doing at all, I just literally jump around to music bc it comes naturally to me, I don't do some intricately choreographed moves and you won't be finding me on a dance show like.. Ever.. But honestly, do anything that feels good to you, it could be going on a trampoline or whatever you want, you don't have to be doing squats or crunches or whatever instagram fitness people say. Enjoy it. Put some music on and do whatever the heck you want.

And please don't take this as one of those "oh yeah, drink a power shake, do some meditation, you'll be aight" things, like my mother used to say this to me all the time and I'd be like no.. That's not how it works at all... I mean, good intentions, I know, and who knows, maybe meditation will help you, I don't know, it helped my mum with her anxiety and panic attacks as she has told me many a time, but I do hate when people say "oh yeah, you just gotta change your mindset, you just gotta..." blah, blah, blah. This probably seems really rude but it does get annoying just being told to do yoga to cure depression like.. Hm.. Thanks but no thanks (even though I suggest dancing so I'm a massive hypocrite...although it is my personal experience...) But my sister did tell me an interesting thing, it takes 21 days to break a habit.

Other things or methods um... My sister gave me a party bag which I looked horrified at for a moment. It read: the *let's say plum* you depression kit... Yeah. And it had a little stickman holding a sword plastered with smiley faces, fending off an angry storm cloud (sucky mental health runs in the family. we know the protocol.) Inside, there was a whiteboard, I was told to write 3-5 good things about my day on it everyday. They don't have to be the greatest things to happen to you. I think mine were usually just "I saw a cute dog", "I had a nice lunch", "I felt pretty today." Another thing I got was a little mermaid diary for "venting and appreciating", as was written on the sticker covered.. Well.. Cover. There was a lot of lists. I.e 10 things I'm happy for, 10 things I'm proud of, 10 things I like about my appearance or my personality.

I don't like writing in diaries. I feel like I could be doing something better with my time, bc I'm not sharing this with anyone, so I felt - what's the point? But I realize now that it does help to write things down and it can be just as effective as rambling to people about my feelings, it lifts a massive weight and is better than just "bottling it up" (god, I hate that phrase.) So instead, I made a private tumblr. Something that only I could see. My problem was I knew all my emotions very well, but I could not write them in words quick enough before they were gone. I'm quicker at typing. So if I had anything to vent it went on my private blog, for only my eyes. Talking to people does help too, but I have a bit of a hard time rationing time spent crying and time spent actually talking so I tend to favour emails or written letter that then get sent to the people I trust, or typing it on the notes on my phone and showing it to them. It is a much less scarier alternative if you find face to face scary, but talking does really help and I used to think that it didn't and it was useless, but after not seeing my psychologist for a while I know that's not true. If you don't already have a therapist or psychologist, they are of great help and they aren't as scary as people make out.

My psychologist does not care what I say to her, I don't mean she doesn't care for my emotions, but rather I swear a lot when I'm upset and she's not even phased by it. She knows and she understands that I can come off as insulting when I'm trying to get a point across about my emotions, and she doesn't question that. She's not annoyingly coddling either, I absolutely hate being coddled, but she can joke with me and if I tell her she's making me uncomfortable and to stop prying, she will stop. And she won't tell all my deepest, darkest secrets to my family either (which was what I afraid was.) Everything is confidential within reason. I consider her my friend.

Other things that help are just more tiny little things that can make a difference - nice food, new stuff, going out on days out, I know how hard it is but it does feel rewarding in the end and you don't have to be going out or doing stuff 24/7, you can say, you know what, I need a break, I need comforting. It's good to let people know where you are in your situation so that then they can be understanding when you need to rest. If I'm feeling sucky, I'll call over my sister, we'll lie down in my bed, she'll massage my head and play with my hair and I'll cry to her and tell her how I'm feeling and she'll comfort me. It's not a bad thing to take days off for mental health, I have done it for school a few times.

If it is really really bad, bc I know a routine can really aggravate your emotions, having to get up early and prepare yourself when you need that sleep to help you, you can consider long term leave if you are at anywhere that involves going a lot Idk I'm not good at phrasing, whether it be work or education.

Other stuff that can motivate me and hopefully you include taking pictures of yourself more often. I know, it's another thing I've suggested that sounds incredibly stupid to you. But it's not. Bc if you can find happiness anywhere, no matter how small, it's worth a shot, even if it's just looking at a picture of yourself for a while and going "wow, I don't look half bad." You can keep it to yourself, you can show it a friend, you can post it online, whatever you want, but picking out your perks whether be it in your looks or your personality, it can feel quite invigorating. And if you have a talent or even something that isn't really a talent, just a hobby, that you can keep to yourself or show off, it feels really good. I like writing, I share it with my friends and it feels good, but do note that you don't need the validation of others to know that you are good at or enjoy something. Having an idol or a passion like a show that you're obsessed with helps too. It gives you something to look forward to.

You can talk to other people too. Idk how old you are. I don't think childline will sue you if you're like, 80, and you call them or you message them on their website (I'm not saying you are 80 just go along with my analogy or whatever it is.)

I don't know much about ITP and I'm sorry for that, but I do know about sucky mental health, and if this can help you even in the slightest bit, it's worth it.

DarkSuperNinja

Thanks for all the support! I hate asking for moral support online (I always feel like one of those annoying 13 year olds that are like "ermegerd my life is so hard") but I really needed to post this, so thank you so much!

DeKay wrote: »

Dang, where do I even start?

I'm sorry you have to go through all of this. I don't know if you can even get enough moral support online but all I can say is: Just stay strong. It will get better soon. Sending you hugs!!!

@DeKay That's all I need really! I just keep getting stressed about everything, and my mum has really bad anxiety, so she isn't exactly helping, since she's also panicking! xD There isn't many people telling me that "everything will be ok"; even my psychiatrist was panicking a bit when I told him I was geting purpura again! I've cheered up a bit now anyway, so thanks!

icmnfrsh wrote: »

Yeah, the immune system can be weird sometimes. Here's hoping for the best

@icmnfrsh I swear my immune system is so dumb! I catch infections all the time, and when it's working it's destroying the WRONG THING! Antibodies go home, you're drunk! xD

Purrdalecki wrote: »

Oh no, I'm so sorry. I've personally never been on antidepressants, but... I did try smth else, though. I'm sorry if this doesn't seem helpful to you, but when I was feeling really awful mentally, I tried a few things and for a time I was the happiest I'd ever been my whole life. Past tense bc recovery isn't a straight line, but that's okay, bc in the end you're still trying and you have a goal in a sight.

First thing was, I returned to things from my childhood that I know made me happy. It can be anything. A former favourite show, a band you really used to like, a hobby that meant a lot to you. It doesn't have to be from childhood, either. I just brought back things from that part of my life bc that's when I remember being happiest. For me, what did it was watching Merlin again, listening to more upbeat music I liked from when I was younger (Pendulum, etc.), and I started reading everyday again. They are tiny things but sometimes they can make a big difference.

My sister told me to give myself something to live for, like taking care of my pets, of finding out the end of a show. I don't know how antidepressants work, but I'm pretty happy with the alternative I had for them, which were my individual methods. They were little but sometimes a little thing can help a lot. My motivation for a while was the next season of supernatural, what I had to live for. That was it. It doesn't have to be something complex or big.

Another one of my methods was to save something good for the end of the bad days, as a kind of a motivator or reward. I loathed Sundays, Sundays marked the end of the weekend, which meant Monday had to come. I hated Mondays. So I saved my favourite shows for Sundays. If I felt like sad bc I felt I wasn't productive, I baked something at the end of a Sunday. I can't pinpoint exactly how you feel personally, and I apologize for that, it would be amazing if we were capable of that, but I can pinpont how I felt and hope that my solutions help you in some shape or form.

It plum that one of the things making me sad was that I wasn't doing anything, but doing anything made me sad as well. It's tiring ad exhausting and horrible to get ready and put your clothes on and brush your teeth... But it is worth it, in my experience, anyway. Getting ready is really hard but you feel rewarded in the end, it gives you a confidence boost. You don't have to make yourself look catwalk ready, although that does help confidence too, and if you feel you could give it a go, then by all means, do, but it's totally okay to have a short shower and get into a hoodie and some underwear. It's an achievement in itself, if you can put on some clothes that you feel good in and style yourself, that's great, but even if not, you still got up, which is your way of saying I'm ready to face this day. And if you don't, that's totally okay to, we all need our breaks and our rest, but if you can motivate yourself to get up and face the day then believe me when I say it feels really rewarding.

I'll say upbeat music again bc for me it really helped. It probably sounds plum, but if you can get your hands on some dance music or dubstep or anything that is fast-paced and happy, it can help a lot. I'm going to embarrass myself now but I do like to dance and exercise does release the happy hormones to your brain so if you have the opportunity to, then take it. You don't have to force yourself, and it doesn't have to be conventional exercise, it can be as light or heavy exercise as you want. I favour dancing, but you don't have to be talented at what you're doing at all, I just literally jump around to music bc it comes naturally to me, I don't do some intricately choreographed moves and you won't be finding me on a dance show like.. Ever.. But honestly, do anything that feels good to you, it could be going on a trampoline or whatever you want, you don't have to be doing squats or crunches or whatever instagram fitness people say. Enjoy it. Put some music on and do whatever the heck you want.

And please don't take this as one of those "oh yeah, drink a power shake, do some meditation, you'll be aight" things, like my mother used to say this to me all the time and I'd be like no.. That's not how it works at all... I mean, good intentions, I know, and who knows, maybe meditation will help you, I don't know, it helped my mum with her anxiety and panic attacks as she has told me many a time, but I do hate when people say "oh yeah, you just gotta change your mindset, you just gotta..." blah, blah, blah. This probably seems really rude but it does get annoying just being told to do yoga to cure depression like.. Hm.. Thanks but no thanks (even though I suggest dancing so I'm a massive hypocrite...although it is my personal experience...) But my sister did tell me an interesting thing, it takes 21 days to break a habit.

Other things or methods um... My sister gave me a party bag which I looked horrified at for a moment. It read: the *let's say plum* you depression kit... Yeah. And it had a little stickman holding a sword plastered with smiley faces, fending off an angry storm cloud (sucky mental health runs in the family. we know the protocol.) Inside, there was a whiteboard, I was told to write 3-5 good things about my day on it everyday. They don't have to be the greatest things to happen to you. I think mine were usually just "I saw a cute dog", "I had a nice lunch", "I felt pretty today." Another thing I got was a little mermaid diary for "venting and appreciating", as was written on the sticker covered.. Well.. Cover. There was a lot of lists. I.e 10 things I'm happy for, 10 things I'm proud of, 10 things I like about my appearance or my personality.

I don't like writing in diaries. I feel like I could be doing something better with my time, bc I'm not sharing this with anyone, so I felt - what's the point? But I realize now that it does help to write things down and it can be just as effective as rambling to people about my feelings, it lifts a massive weight and is better than just "bottling it up" (god, I hate that phrase.) So instead, I made a private tumblr. Something that only I could see. My problem was I knew all my emotions very well, but I could not write them in words quick enough before they were gone. I'm quicker at typing. So if I had anything to vent it went on my private blog, for only my eyes. Talking to people does help too, but I have a bit of a hard time rationing time spent crying and time spent actually talking so I tend to favour emails or written letter that then get sent to the people I trust, or typing it on the notes on my phone and showing it to them. It is a much less scarier alternative if you find face to face scary, but talking does really help and I used to think that it didn't and it was useless, but after not seeing my psychologist for a while I know that's not true. If you don't already have a therapist or psychologist, they are of great help and they aren't as scary as people make out.

My psychologist does not care what I say to her, I don't mean she doesn't care for my emotions, but rather I swear a lot when I'm upset and she's not even phased by it. She knows and she understands that I can come off as insulting when I'm trying to get a point across about my emotions, and she doesn't question that. She's not annoyingly coddling either, I absolutely hate being coddled, but she can joke with me and if I tell her she's making me uncomfortable and to stop prying, she will stop. And she won't tell all my deepest, darkest secrets to my family either (which was what I afraid was.) Everything is confidential within reason. I consider her my friend.

Other things that help are just more tiny little things that can make a difference - nice food, new stuff, going out on days out, I know how hard it is but it does feel rewarding in the end and you don't have to be going out or doing stuff 24/7, you can say, you know what, I need a break, I need comforting. It's good to let people know where you are in your situation so that then they can be understanding when you need to rest. If I'm feeling sucky, I'll call over my sister, we'll lie down in my bed, she'll massage my head and play with my hair and I'll cry to her and tell her how I'm feeling and she'll comfort me. It's not a bad thing to take days off for mental health, I have done it for school a few times.

If it is really really bad, bc I know a routine can really aggravate your emotions, having to get up early and prepare yourself when you need that sleep to help you, you can consider long term leave if you are at anywhere that involves going a lot Idk I'm not good at phrasing, whether it be work or education.

Other stuff that can motivate me and hopefully you include taking pictures of yourself more often. I know, it's another thing I've suggested that sounds incredibly plum to you. But it's not. Bc if you can find happiness anywhere, no matter how small, it's worth a shot, even if it's just looking at a picture of yourself for a while and going "wow, I don't look half bad." You can keep it to yourself, you can show it a friend, you can post it online, whatever you want, but picking out your perks whether be it in your looks or your personality, it can feel quite invigorating. And if you have a talent or even something that isn't really a talent, just a hobby, that you can keep to yourself or show off, it feels really good. I like writing, I share it with my friends and it feels good, but do note that you don't need the validation of others to know that you are good at or enjoy something. Having an idol or a passion like a show that you're obsessed with helps too. It gives you something to look forward to.

You can talk to other people too. Idk how old you are. I don't think childline will sue you if you're like, 80, and you call them or you message them on their website (I'm not saying you are 80 just go along with my analogy or whatever it is.)

I don't know much about ITP and I'm sorry for that, but I do know about sucky mental health, and if this can help you even in the slightest bit, it's worth it.

@Purrdalecki Even though I'm more or less in the clear mental health wise (I mean, I WAS until this happened xD) This could definitely help someone else!
Sucky mental health is a mess, but I've got a psychiatrist and social worker to help me out, and they're really awesome! And the medication is lovely too... IF IT WASN'T DESTROYING MY PLATELETS THAT IS! xD

Anyways, I did try as much self help as possible, and since my lovely experience with steroids, I'm VERY anti-medication, but medication was truly the only thing that worked. It definitely hit the point where my brain chemistry just stopped working properly and my brain just straight up FORGOT how to serotoinin! Obviously this isn't true for everyone, but I know that in my case, no matter how hard I tried, I was still in a downward spiral! xD

Moral of the story; I'm back to normal mentally, so yay! I hope you're doing well too!

mcrudd

I am so sorry that you are experiencing all of this. I hope that they can sort you with a different anti depressant that does not trigger your ITP, lots of hugs and support to you. I don't know if this will help, but I am being taught how to ground myself with senses everytime my thoughts are not what they are supposed to be (eg suicide and just nonsense stories a person makes up in your mind sometimes) As soon as my mind wanders to them I need to plant my feet in the ground, wiggle them and then look around and spot 4 things and name them, then I need to try and hear 3 different sounds, once I name them I need to try and taste something in my mouth eg if you had coffee and lastly run my hands over where ever I am sitting and feel the fabric of the seat or even your fabric from your clothes if you are standing. Its helped me a couple of times so far especially at night just before bedtime when a person's brain goes all hectic. I do hope it helps you too

mintycupcake

Ugh, that totally stinks Ninj! Tell Doctor Dan where it hurts...


....Ok, so technically that's the wrong doctor. But it's the best I could do. I won't pretend to even have the slightest idea what you're going through (besides the depression), but I am really sorry this is happening to you. Shoot me a message if you ever need a sympathetic ear.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

fewlines

hugs + strength + good vibes for you.

mcrudd

Also forgot to mention that there is an awesome support group that Rosemow started here in off topic, lots of people to talk too and get support from right there http://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/799015/we-care-supporting-simmers-going-through-hard-times#latest
Once again hugs and support out to you @DarkSuperNinja

mcrudd

@DarkSuperNinja are you ok? Been thinking how you are, let us know if you need more support or just someone to chat with

DarkSuperNinja

Thanks everyone for the support! I haven't checked my account for a long while, but the amount of messages I got on this post is absolutely nuts! :O

For an update (@mcrudd and anyone else who's interested) my platelet count is below the normal and has decreased significantly (but isn't dangerous, just on the low side), so I had another blood test a week later to see if they are still going down, and I'm yet to find out what my count is specifically right now. I'm still taking the tablets (I'm not dying of ITP yet, so the benifits FAR outweigh the problems right now) and we're just going to monitor my blood count every few weeks to check I'm not in danger, and as soon as it gets close to dangerous, I'm coming straight off the tablets!

Basically, I'm fine and I'm not dying (yet)! YAY! xD

DarkSuperNinja

mintycupcake wrote: »

Ugh, that totally stinks Ninj! Tell Doctor Dan where it hurts...


....Ok, so technically that's the wrong doctor. But it's the best I could do. I won't pretend to even have the slightest idea what you're going through (besides the depression), but I am really sorry this is happening to you. Shoot me a message if you ever need a sympathetic ear.

@mintycupcake If someone said that to me, nevermind a doctor, I would legit run very far away! xD

rosethesimmer

I hope you feel better, but if your problems persist, I suggest going to a therapist.

DarkSuperNinja

rosethesimmer wrote: »

I hope you feel better, but if your problems persist, I suggest going to a therapist.

@rosethesimmer Already there bruh! :P

DarkSuperNinja

Update:
If anyone is curious, a couple of weeks ago, I found out that I had severe anemia, autoimmune hypothyroidism, and ITP came back with a solid 25 platelets. Got referred to a Haematologist, had to go for a ton of blood tests (I legit had 8 MASSIVE VIALS taken out), put back on steroids (yay) and now I've got a count of 75 and it's slowly going up again!

To add to the FUN, my hormone blockers are on hold until my body stops trying to kill itself, and I was abruptly taken off my anti-depressants, so the withdrawal was just EXTRA FUN TO DEAL WITH ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE.

In all seriousness, the last couple of weeks have been a mess; I'm just waiting for my antibodies to stop trying to destroy everything, quite honestly! xD

On the bright side, I'm now pretty much guaranteed to get a PS4 for my birthday next week, so could be worse? :P

icmnfrsh

The PS4 sounds awesome! I hope you enjoy it. And I hope your immune system gets itself together soon so that you can continue with your other treatments. At least your platelets are rising again, which looks good.

My birthday's also coming up this month, and I asked my parents if I could just buy a paper shredder and they can pay for it as my gift. I wanted enough to get it, but not enough to pay the equivalent of 60 USD from my own money.

DarkSuperNinja

icmnfrsh wrote: »

The PS4 sounds awesome! I hope you enjoy it. And I hope your immune system gets itself together soon so that you can continue with your other treatments. At least your platelets are rising again, which looks good.

My birthday's also coming up this month, and I asked my parents if I could just buy a paper shredder and they can pay for it as my gift. I wanted enough to get it, but not enough to pay the equivalent of 60 USD from my own money.

@icmnfrsh For a few years, I went through phases of asking for household appliances for Christmas; one year I asked for a toastie maker, the next year I asked for a blender, and the year after that I asked for a panini maker! xD Everyone judged me for it, but it wasn't MY fault that we didn't have basic appliances like a panini maker already! :P

icmnfrsh

Eh, never mind the haters. Appliances make great gifts too, especially if they make your life easier in some way.

DarkSuperNinja

icmnfrsh wrote: »

Eh, never mind the haters. Appliances make great gifts too, especially if they make your life easier in some way.

@icmnfrsh Definitely true; I have used that panini maker an unhealthy amount of times! xD

AndrewJeffrey21

find some Shredder that best fit in your budget boy. There is a lot of range available

BabySquare

My advice would be to try a different type of anti depressant. I take it you've been on an SSRI? these target your serotonin, but there are other types of anti depressants out there, for example there are some that work by targeting your dopamine levels - that might be a better option for you.
I understand your difficulty; I went on anti depressants earlier this year but risked falling into a coma so had to come off them, but I do know SSRI'S can cause a host of other problems and inflame per-existing conditions - I would suggest asking your doctor about alternative depression remedies, and although medication is a common route, don't underestimate the power of talking things through; counseling might be a more effective depression cure for you.

DarkSuperNinja

BabySquare wrote: »

My advice would be to try a different type of anti depressant. I take it you've been on an SSRI? these target your serotonin, but there are other types of anti depressants out there, for example there are some that work by targeting your dopamine levels - that might be a better option for you.
I understand your difficulty; I went on anti depressants earlier this year but risked falling into a coma so had to come off them, but I do know SSRI'S can cause a host of other problems and inflame per-existing conditions - I would suggest asking your doctor about alternative depression remedies, and although medication is a common route, don't underestimate the power of talking things through; counseling might be a more effective depression cure for you.

@BabySquare In my case, medication was a last resort; since my last experience on steroids, I developed a heavy fear of medication, so I refused it until I was having a full on mental breakdown and actually couldn't function as a human being (#funtimes). Also, there wasn't anything to "talk through", quite honestly! My life was going great; heck I'm in a FAR worse situation now than I was back then, and I'm enjoying life right now! xD

Anyways, the Sertraline is now out of my system completely (and has been for nearly a month), and I'm NOT trying to jump off a bridge, so I guess I'm hopefully cured for now? I seem to be recovering quite well so I don't want to jinx it! :P
In my case, the main issue is that MOST anti-depressants (that aren't horrifically side-effect heavy) can trigger ITP, so we just need to keep testing until we find a viable one that doesn't!

The next step for me is getting me off these darn steroids (since they've done all they need to now) and trying to sort my life out AGAIN! Thank the heavens for the NHS! xD

BabySquare

DarkSuperNinja wrote: »

BabySquare wrote: »

My advice would be to try a different type of anti depressant. I take it you've been on an SSRI? these target your serotonin, but there are other types of anti depressants out there, for example there are some that work by targeting your dopamine levels - that might be a better option for you.
I understand your difficulty; I went on anti depressants earlier this year but risked falling into a coma so had to come off them, but I do know SSRI'S can cause a host of other problems and inflame per-existing conditions - I would suggest asking your doctor about alternative depression remedies, and although medication is a common route, don't underestimate the power of talking things through; counseling might be a more effective depression cure for you.

@BabySquare In my case, medication was a last resort; since my last experience on steroids, I developed a heavy fear of medication, so I refused it until I was having a full on mental breakdown and actually couldn't function as a human being (#funtimes). Also, there wasn't anything to "talk through", quite honestly! My life was going great; heck I'm in a FAR worse situation now than I was back then, and I'm enjoying life right now! xD

Anyways, the Sertraline is now out of my system completely (and has been for nearly a month), and I'm NOT trying to jump off a bridge, so I guess I'm hopefully cured for now? I seem to be recovering quite well so I don't want to jinx it! :P
In my case, the main issue is that MOST anti-depressants (that aren't horrifically side-effect heavy) can trigger ITP, so we just need to keep testing until we find a viable one that doesn't!

The next step for me is getting me off these darn steroids (since they've done all they need to now) and trying to sort my life out AGAIN! Thank the heavens for the NHS! xD

I see. There are so many anti depressants out there; hopefully you'll find one that agrees with you, and it's good to know the serotonin's out of your system. I don't really know what else to suggest I'm afraid.

littlemissgogo

You can wean off or at least to a lower dosage with antidepressants. Not everyone can, of course, but it is a possibility depending on the individual. I got lucky and sertraline worked for me my first go around with meds though they're likely not something I'll ever be able to come off of lest my sanity be risked. I'm so glad to hear you're recovering. I hope you can find something that works for you if you need to go back on an antidepressant. It can be a real hassle to find what works sometimes but it's worth it as long as it helps!

Stormsview

DarkSuperNinja wrote: »

Basically, I had ITP last year (an autoimmune disorder where your antibodies destroy your platelets) and I had to go on a really high dose of prednisolone for 3 months, and it was the worst 3 months of my whole life. Even now, my appetite is nearly non-existent, and that time of my life has got the nice little status of being the WORST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME (it beats Gender Dysphoria and Depression any day lol).

Anyways, I went on anti depressants recently, which have an extremely rare side effect of triggering off ITP. However, we all decided that I should try them anyway, especially since I was basically suicidal at the time; these tablets were my best bet to not intentionally popping my clogs, basically! And they are working; I FINALLY FEEL NORMAL AGAIN AFTER A YEAR THANK GOD!

However, the celebration has only lasted a month because SURPRISE: My ITP has been triggered, I'm starting to get bruises and purpura gradually on my legs again, and I'm FREAKING OUT!

I know freaking out will just make everything worse, and it won't anything to help, but I'm absolutely terrified. Especially since before, there was a small chance that it WASN'T CHRONIC, but this basically 100% proves that my ITP is chronic, and it's something that will be trolling me for the rest of my life.

Also, if I get ITP again, it might screw up my Gender Dysphoria surgeries and hormones, and I won't be able to take the same depression medication again, even though it's working so well for me!

TL;DR: I HATE ITP UGHHHH WHY ARE MY ANTIBODIES GOING "Lolz let's destroy an important component of the body, it's not like he needs platelets to function or anything lolzor"?!

(Immune Thrombocytopenia (ITP) is a rare and potentially serious blood disorder caused by improperly functioning blood cells called platelets.)

Just know it's not your fault your ill, even babies get very ill and they do nothing wrong. so never worry over that.
I am so sorry you are so ill. people would never know how much you suffer. I just hope you keep trying to eat, even when you do not want to. if you can eat please do. even if you can not hold it down.
If you can please see a specialist for each thing that's wrong with you and not just go to one or two doctors. try to get fresh air every day even an open window for a short time.and see the sunlight. watching nice movies may help even if its just in the background.

sometimes we feel we will not get better but then to our surprise, we do get better, and then we can not believe how we did and was so ill before.

If you can go to an online game that's free, and you do not have to do anything at all but go sit by the water that would help a lot.
If you can afford a little land of your own, just put down a simple home and a porch swings on the porch in the back where you can see the ocean and just lay there swinging while listening to the ocean.

maybe log into a sims game and do not much of nothing it may also help to get your mind off of things a little.

also, you can get videos of an ocean or a warm fire to watch. and listen to.
talking on a post like Facebook and making friends letting them know you're ill, lots are so nice they will check upon you every day.
and here we have a small post as well. Help for sims having problems. @rosemow helps and she is a very a caring person.

my heart goes out to you as do a lot of us here. Just know your not alone so many people do care, sending hugs.