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Day & Knight 4/29

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  • roseinblack69roseinblack69 Posts: 4,070 Member
    Hugs and a lot of love to Alex from me <3 I thought about this, too, but I thought he is already after surgery. Unfortunately, he's not yet (and here's a question if he will decide to do that) and here a long and hard way awaits for him :/ He must be very strong to withstand all, but I believe he will. I'm just curious what Knight will say when he'll know the truth.

    Hmm...never thought you might think he already had the surgery. You're right...a long arduous road is ahead. Hang on!

    I though Alex already had a surgery, because he looks like a man although his face isn't so manly as his body. And in that room where he wanted to make love to Knight... So all these factors made me think that he's already after surgery :)
  • WitcHazardWitcHazard Posts: 1,209 Member
    Although Marco says he's Knight's friend Alex should still be careful. At the end of the day he still works for Antonio so he can't be trusted no matter how cute he is. I fee like Knight won't care about the revalation but if Alex still has all his female parts Knight might get the crazy idea Alex can have the heir. Of course there's Antonio to worry about who will probably be against it. Not to mention Alex is a man so he probably wouldn't have wanted to have kids naturally. Although I think he loves Knight enough to do anything for him. But loving someone isn't worth compromising who you are and if they want you to they're not the one. Either accept me for who I am or not all.
  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 12,262 Member
    WitcHazard wrote: »
    Although Marco says he's Knight's friend Alex should still be careful. At the end of the day he still works for Antonio so he can't be trusted no matter how cute he is. I fee like Knight won't care about the revalation but if Alex still has all his female parts Knight might get the crazy idea Alex can have the heir. Of course there's Antonio to worry about who will probably be against it. Not to mention Alex is a man so he probably wouldn't have wanted to have kids naturally. Although I think he loves Knight enough to do anything for him. But loving someone isn't worth compromising who you are and if they want you to they're not the one. Either accept me for who I am or not all.

    I agree with you...we'll see what happens!
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  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 12,262 Member
    edited September 2016
    Chapter 1.18

    Alex

    After that night with Marco, I was determined NOT to take him up on his offer. Bri and I could stay with a friend for a few days until Knight got back. Bri suggested one of her friends—Benton Landis. But he was a guy and I knew she liked him so no way. I even went over to his house and met with his parents. They were really nice, but when I went upstairs to see the bedroom situation, the daughter’s room was right next to his. I couldn’t in good conscience allow it. Even for a few days.

    Then I thought about Chiandra. I needed some cash fast and she’d offered a modeling position to me the other day. I didn’t accept then because I didn’t think Knight would appreciate my growing friendship with her but now I was desperate. When I called and told her my situation, she not only said I had a modeling gig for sure, but Bri and I could stay at her place for a few days. Sounded like a perfect set up.

    When we got to her house, Chiandra welcomed us warmly. “Come in! I’m so excited to have people here. It gets lonely by myself. I have way too much room for just me.”

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    I could barely get Bri to come. She was so mad at me. I could only hope she wasn’t rude to Chiandra.

    “Thanks for inviting us, Chiandra. You’re really saving our skin.”

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    “No problem. Why don’t I show you to your rooms? Bri will be staying with me and you’ll have a bedroom to yourself.”

    Bri wedged into the middle of us. “Alex, you aren’t serious about this! I can’t sleep in the same bed as a stranger.”

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    “Well, you certainly don’t want to sleep with your brother, do you?” Chiandra said, laughing. “If you’re too uncomfortable, I’ll order another bed. Until then, I’ll sleep on the couch. No worries, hon.”

    When Bri didn’t respond, I said, “Hey, thanks, Chiandra. Um...I wonder if I could talk to my sister alone for a minute?”

    “Of course.” She threw on a stiff smile and said, “I’ll make us some drinks. Okay?”

    I nodded. Once she was out of sight, Bri turned on me. “Have you lost your mind? You actually think staying at the place of a psychopathic narcissist is better than staying with a sweet family. I mean, gosh, Alex? She’s got her picture plastered all over the place. It’s nuts!”

    “Come on, Bri,” I countered. “It’s only for a few days. Stop being so judgmental. So what if she has a few pictures around. She’s a model. I think they’re cool.”

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    “Cool? Really? Do you like her, Alex? Because I don’t see anything cool about staring at yourself all day in your own home. And I don’t feel comfortable here. At all. Why can’t you ever consider my feelings? You’re the one that was supposed to pay our rent. Why do I have to suffer?”

    Now I was starting to get mad. “You’re really flipping out for nothing. Chiandra is doing us a huge favor. It’s two days, Bri. What’s the big deal? Now stop the drama and start acting like a senior in high school. You’re too old to throw a fit like this.”

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    “So, you’re really going to force me to sleep here.”

    “Yes. I am. And you can either make the best of it and be nice or you can go pout like a baby. Your choice.”

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    “Hey, you two,” Chiandra’s melodic voice broke through our argument. “I’ve got drinks all ready! Bri, sweetie, I’ve made you a nonalcoholic fizzy summer splash. I think you’ll like it!”

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    “I’m not thirsty,” Bri said, not moving from the entryway landing.

    Embarrassed by how she was acting, I hopped over the steps and said, “I’ll take it. Sounds good.”

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    As I was slurping the delicious fruity drink, Chiandra said, “I’ve got our gig all set up for tonight. You’ll adore my photographer. I think you’ll really hit it off with him. He sort of reminds me of you, although you’ll have to watch out for him. He’ll hit on anything that moves, especially with the gay vibe you’ve got going on. He’ll fall head over heels. But you can use that to your advantage.”

    I sighed inwardly. I really didn’t want to fend off anyone tonight. But I could handle guys like him.

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    I brought all of our bags in and took them upstairs. Noticing another picture of Chiandra in my room, I went over to it and asked, “Wow. You really have a lot of these, don’t you?”

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    She giggled. “Yeah, well, there’s an artist that Knight hired to make one for every anniversary we had. He said he wanted to see my beautiful face whenever he came over. I know it’s kind of weird for me to have these everywhere. I...I kept them because I thought we might get back together, but it’s okay. I know that’ll never happen now that Knight has come out. I’m thinking about selling them through a special auction and donating to charity. I need a fresh start away from Knight’s influence.”

    I felt almost guilty when she talked about Knight. He must have really loved her. I wondered what happened. “You’re really nice, Chiandra. I think these will make tons of money for charity.”

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    After I settled in and Bri slammed the door to the room she was staying in, Chiandra and I talked in the living room. “So, what kind of modeling am I doing?”

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    “It’s for a cover of a local magazine. It will be great exposure for you. Who knows? You may end up getting pictures made of you like these. Knight might want it.”

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    I shook my head. “I’m different than you, Chiandra. If Knight even suggested something like that, I’d punch him. He knows it.”

    She stared. “I guess dating a guy is a bit different. I think it’s good for Knight. He can get a little possessive. He needs your strength to keep him in line.”

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    I didn’t like to hear that. I’d seen a little possessiveness, but nothing out of the ordinary.

    Chiandra

    Project Ensnare Alex Day was going gangbusters. I couldn’t believe my ungodly luck when Alex asked for the modeling job AND he didn’t have a place to stay for a few days. So, of course, I jumped at the chance to live with him. Knight wouldn’t know what hit him when he found out I’d stolen Alex away.

    After we manhandled the closets at my photographer, Devon Saunder’s studio, true to form Devon started working his charms on Alex.

    “Alex, I know of a club just for men like us. How about we go have a drink together after the shoot? I think we could really have some fun.”

    “Oh, god, Devon, give it a rest. I told you. Alex is taken now lay off.” I certainly didn’t need any competition. It was going to be hard enough to lure a gay man into my claws without another gay man pawing at him.

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    Devon slunk into the seat next to Alex like a boa constrictor coiling up next to his prey. “Just thought Alex could use a little fun in his life. Up until now, it sounds like he’s been tied to his work and working out. You know what they say about all work and no play...”

    Alex laughed. “Don’t worry about me. I get by just fine with my boyfriend.”

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    “What fun is it to be tied down? Live a little, I say.”

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    Devon wasn’t taking the hint. I knew he’d do this. Putting on my best diva, I folded my arms and pouted. “Devon, I thought you liked me. And now you’re paying more attention to Alex.”

    “Sorry, darling. Although you are pretty, it’s just not the same.”

    Alex shook his head. “Hey, are we going to do some work? I actually shouldn’t be away too long from my sister.”

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    With a few more lewd comments from Devon, we finally started the shoot. Alex actually was a natural at posing. I felt so at ease.

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    I’d made sure we had a few romantic poses thrown in. I wanted Alex to have a taste of me. No man could deny how I sent them into a tantalizing frenzy. And Devon helped out with all of his suggestions.

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    When the shoot was over, I didn’t get the pose I’d really wanted. Glaring at Devon, he knew what I meant.

    “Okay, darlings, you’ve done a marvelous job. I only have one more shot for this issue and then we’re done. I need you two to kiss. Make it look good! We want to sell the shot!”

    I could see the look of fear in Alex’s eyes. Good. That meant he might feel something he shouldn’t and Knight would go ballistic. “Come on, Alex. It’s just for the job,” I soothed.

    Wrapping my arms around his strong shoulders, I went in for the kiss. At first, he held back, but then he relaxed and gave me what I wanted.

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    *****

    Want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to @RABOOSKI for making this breathtaking model home just for Chiandra. If you want a feminine playhouse for entertaining, this will fit the bill! Click here to download: MODEL HOME
    Post edited by pammiechick on
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  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 12,262 Member
    Marialein wrote: »
    The photos are gorgers <3 I just fear this was a big mistake …

    We shall see...
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  • WitcHazardWitcHazard Posts: 1,209 Member
    The pictures aren't my concern it's what the magazine is going to say about that pictures that Alex should be worried about. And what's the big deal I needed money for rent I don't trust your friend/ Antonio's spy sure maybe going to your ex wasn't the smartest plan but Alex has a teenager to worry about and he probably doesn't want to just take Knight's money so what's the problem. Sure Knight might develop some insecurities but that's good healthy even builds character.
  • anaitapevaanaitapeva Posts: 917 Member
    :D Knight will certainly flip off LOL
  • roseinblack69roseinblack69 Posts: 4,070 Member
    edited September 2016
    I don't like this girl like Bri, she's such hypocrite :/ But Alex is just too good he could see all this sh...t and it's sad :( I'm almost sure it was a big mistake to come to Chiandra, but we'll see how it will end.
  • haswhhaswh Posts: 2,863 Member
    Well I was way off the mark on this one! Alex going to Chiandra is going to cause all kinds of drama! And a kiss even, that picture will probably end up on the cover of the magazine shown all over the world!
  • Maladi777Maladi777 Posts: 4,393 Member
    Alex is swimming in the sea full of sharks. The question is which one gets to taste his blood first. It's going to happen sooner or later. And Knight has been doing a poor job protecting him from the sharks so far. :smile:
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    HEFFNER LEGACYSimblrHeffner Legacy Discussion │ Origin ID: Maladi
  • SterretjeeeSterretjeee Posts: 3,019 Member
    Can't till Chiandra get's exposed :lol:
    She will right? Any kind of karma is good :lol:
  • roseinblack69roseinblack69 Posts: 4,070 Member
    Maladi777 wrote: »
    Alex is swimming in the sea full of sharks. The question is which one gets to taste his blood first. It's going to happen sooner or later. And Knight has been doing a poor job protecting him from the sharks so far. :smile:

    That's what I think, too @Maladi777. They all are sharks what want to eat Alex and that girl... I'm afraid she'll poison his life :/
  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 12,262 Member
    edited September 2016
    Chapter 1.19



    Alex

    As I was kissing Chiandra for the shoot, I heard a loud, “YES!” coming from behind me.

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    Yanking my head around, I saw Devon pumping his hand in celebration without a camera.

    Were they playing me?

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    Immediately, I gripped Chiandra’s hands and snarled, “What gives?”

    “S-Stop it, Alex, you’re hurting me,” Chiandra whined.

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    I held on even tighter, making her wince. “I thought we were kissing for the shoot. Why isn’t Devon using his camera?”

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    “Oh, lighten up, Alex,” Devon said with a laugh. “It was all in good fun. Chiandra offered a bet is all. She claimed that I couldn’t get you to give her a deep kiss and I said I could if I directed it. I have that kind of charm over people. Guess I won, old chap.”

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    I wiped the kiss off my mouth. “I’m done here.”

    “Come on, Alex, wait. Don’t go mad,” Chiandra called after me.

    I cringed thinking how she played me like that. No wonder Knight broke up with her. She was a piece of work.

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    “You liked it. Didn’t you?” Chiandra asked behind me.

    “What?”

    “I could tell by that kiss. You like girls. You just won’t admit it.”

    I wasn’t even going to give her the satisfaction of an answer. I didn’t argue with fools.

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    Without another word, I stormed out of the studio, slamming the door.

    Grabbing my sister and our stuff from Chiandra’s, I drove over to Benton’s house. Bri was annoyingly happy. She blabbed the whole way over. “You’re the best brother anyone could ever have. I love you. You know that, Alex? I’m going to make you something special for being so good to me. What would you like? Cookies? Brownies? A triple decker chocolate fudge cake? Just name it.”

    I didn’t say anything. I was so mad about my situation. I was penned into a corner with no way out. Knight was gone and couldn’t help me, and I had to get back on my feet to support my sister somehow.

    When we arrived, Benton was waiting for us on the front porch. I could tell from his eyes that he liked Bri, but she assured me they were just friends. I didn’t buy it.

    “Aren’t you coming up, too?” Bri asked me.

    “I’ll be back later. I’ve got some business to take care of.”

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    I watched as my sister walked up the steps, hoping this was the right decision.

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    But I’d be back that night to watch over her. I gave Benton a threatening glare any father would to a guy who might be after his daughter. I had to do that for my dad. I think he got the message.

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    I wasted no time and drove over to Antonio’s mansion. It lit up like a beacon beckoning a fly to the flame. I was definitely the fly.

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    When I entered, the butler tried to stop me, but I scowled and pushed past him, hissing, “Don’t mess with me.”

    He shrunk back and let me pass.

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    I found Antonio entertaining two women at his bar. Both were giggling at his jokes and flirting. I shook my head.

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    “Antonio, I need to speak to you. Now,” I ordered.

    Not happy with my outburst, he shot up from his chair. “This is a surprise, Alex. It would have been nice if you would have called first.”

    “I’m not in the mood to put up with your plum, Antonio. Did you or did you not threaten my landlord to evict me?”

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    A malicious grin swished over his face. “I believe someone forgot to pay their bills. That’s not a very smart thing to do, Alex.”

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    Like steam in a pressure cooker, I was about to explode. “So, you did threaten poor Mr. Lee. And not only that, but when I got to my training session, my coach quit. You said you’d give me a day. You didn’t even give me fifteen minutes. You lied.”

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    “I didn’t lie. I am giving you a day. I wasn’t the one who didn’t pay your bills. And all I did was offer your trainer a job here if you so chose to take the job. He declined. I cannot help these circumstances.”

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    I wanted to strangle him, coiling my hands into fists. “And you want me to work for you when you treat me like this? Threatening people and ruining my life?”

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    “You are jumping to the wrong conclusions, Alex. I want you to be a part of our organization for your own good. It seems you want to be in my son’s life. My work involves people who are not the best of society. They naturally will want to threaten my family. But you aren’t in my family if you don’t work for me. Does that make sense?”

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    I was stuck the moment I started this whirlwind romance with Knight. But when you fall off a cliff, how are you supposed to save yourself? I loved Knight and wouldn’t give him up. I’d decided once I left the photo shoot what I had to do. “If I do work for you, I will demand several things.”

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    “Of course, Alex. I will do my best to please you. What are your requests?”

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    “You will give my sister and I a place to stay. She will not be going to boarding school.”

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    “I see...well, we do have several houses owned by the company that are near to the mansion, but you will need to be available to me. If you don’t mind driving here when I need you then I don’t see a problem with that.”

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    “And no matter what happens to me, you will leave my sister alone. She cannot be involved in your operations. She’s under my protection, not yours.”

    He waved his hand in assurance. “I don’t foresee anything happening to you, Alex. But if it will make you happy, we won’t approach your sister in any way. I promise.”

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    After I stood there for a long time, clenching my jaw, Antonio smiled broadly and asked, “So, is it a deal?”

    I nodded curtly, fists still pumped.

    “Then welcome to the family, Alex! You may have a few days off to get settled. Let my secretary know when you wish to move. He will show you a few places you might desire.”

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  • WitcHazardWitcHazard Posts: 1,209 Member
    Alex I hope you know what you're doing. Making a deal with the devil. No matter how hot he is he's still the devil. And this is partially Knights fault too so he better not say anything.
  • Maladi777Maladi777 Posts: 4,393 Member
    edited September 2016
    I will sum up my thoughts while reading this update in 3 points:

    - Chiandra and the photographer are playing really weird games, Alex should stick to people of his class - it's safer
    - I'd be actually flattered if Antonio put so much effort in getting me working for him...
    - Can I at least become one of of those ladies at the bar for when he feels like entertaining them again?
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  • roseinblack69roseinblack69 Posts: 4,070 Member
    edited September 2016
    So... I was right. Chiandra is hypocrite :/ Better she and her photographer would leave Alex in silence :# I'm just afraid they'll do something very bad to Alex :/ And Antonio... Poor Alex... Did he have another choice when already almost all his life is ruined? Antonio will do anything he'd get what he desires, that's what I learnt in the beginning :( Knight should return as soon as it's possible, but I think his trip was also one of Antonio's plans :(
  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 12,262 Member
    Maladi777 wrote: »
    I will sum up my thoughts while reading this update in 3 points:

    - Chiandra and the photographer are playing really weird games, Alex should stick to people of his class - it's safer
    - I'd be actually flattered if Antonio put so much effort in getting me working for him...
    - Can I at least become one of of those ladies at the bar for when he feels like entertaining them again?

    LOL!

    Your wish is my command. I think I'm going to put your simself into this story...heh...heh...
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  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 12,262 Member
    So... I was right. Chiandra is hypocrite :/ Better she and her photographer would leave Alex in silence :# I'm just afraid they'll do something very bad to Alex :/ And Antonio... Poor Alex... Did he have another choice when already almost all his life is ruined? Antonio will do anything he'd get what he desires, that's what I learnt in the beginning :( Knight should return as soon as it's possible, but I think his trip was also one of Antonio's plans :(


    You're right...Antonio knows what he's doing...the puppet master.
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  • Maladi777Maladi777 Posts: 4,393 Member
    Maladi777 wrote: »
    I will sum up my thoughts while reading this update in 3 points:

    - Chiandra and the photographer are playing really weird games, Alex should stick to people of his class - it's safer
    - I'd be actually flattered if Antonio put so much effort in getting me working for him...
    - Can I at least become one of of those ladies at the bar for when he feels like entertaining them again?

    LOL!

    Your wish is my command. I think I'm going to put your simself into this story...heh...heh...

    *fainted*
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    HEFFNER LEGACYSimblrHeffner Legacy Discussion │ Origin ID: Maladi
  • anaitapevaanaitapeva Posts: 917 Member
    Poor Alex got into a spider web. I wonder how Knight will be able to help when he returns from his trip.
  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 12,262 Member
    anaitapeva wrote: »
    Poor Alex got into a spider web. I wonder how Knight will be able to help when he returns from his trip.

    You will find out tomorrow...
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  • SamilaneSamilane Posts: 13 New Member
    God I love this story
  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 12,262 Member
    edited September 2016
    Chapter 1.20

    Kyle

    Early Thursday morning, I’d just finished eating my breakfast and was watching some T.V. when my brother’s boyfriend barged in the front door.

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    “What the h*ll?” I yelled. “This isn’t your house.”

    “Sorry,” Alex said. “Knight texted me he was coming home, and I was to meet him here. Aren’t you supposed to be in school?”

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    “Um like duh...it’s only 7:30. I don’t go to school until 8.”

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    “Oh,” he said, running his hand through his hair. “Well, I won’t get in your way. I’ve got to work out anyway. The bag is out back. Right?”

    I flung myself from the couch. No way was he staying here. I wanted to punch him on sight for how he humiliated me in front of my father. “I think you need to go. I don’t care what my brother says.”

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    “I won’t bother you. Deal with it.”

    That’s all it took. I swung at him.

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    Swiftly, he dodged my punch. When I took another swing, he expertly caught my arm and twisted, painfully forcing me to the ground. Then he pounced on my back, choking me with his arm. My throat pinched hard, and I gasped for breath.

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    He hissed, “I’ve had a cr*appy week and I’m not dealing with your plum.” He clamped down harder. “Got it? Try that again and I’ll really mess you up.”

    Struggling for air, I nodded.

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    He released me. I coughed, spraying spit everywhere.

    Rubbing my neck that throbbed in pain, my heart raced. What was my brother dating? A monster? Alex Day was dangerous. I couldn’t understand first of all why my brother would want to date a guy, but secondly, if Alex got angry enough, he could kill someone with his skills. It was scary.

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    ****

    Knight

    I couldn’t wait to get home. Alex was supposed to be at my house, waiting on me. All I could think about was wrapping my arms around him and getting him alone. The thought was driving me crazy.

    When I opened the door, my brother pounced on me. Glaring, he said, “Your boyfriend tried to kill me today. I hope you know you’re dating a potential mass murderer.”

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    I laughed. “What did you do to p*iss him off? I’m sure you had it coming.”

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    “Why don’t you warn someone next time that he’s coming over? He put me in a chokehold. It wasn’t cool.”

    I smiled even bigger. “I’d have loved to have seen that. Since you’re not telling me what you did, I know you deserved it. Where’s Alex?”

    “Go find him yourself. I’m not your assistant.”

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    I searched upstairs, but he wasn’t there. Then I realized I should have checked the punching bag out back. Alex was always working out.

    When I went to the deck, I grinned. There he was looking great, punching the stuffing out of that bag. His body was so perfect—broad muscular shoulders and tight waist. I was hoping for a sneak attack, but I might catch him off guard and suffer a punch. This thought made me laugh.

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    “Hey, beautiful,” I said, in between his set.

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    Turning around, he yelled, “Knight!” and clamped onto me like he hadn’t seen me in weeks.

    “Hey...I’m glad to see you, too. Did you miss me?”

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    “God, you don’t know how much.”

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    “Aw, baby, well, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere for a while.” I squeezed him, so happy to be back.

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    Pulling away, he said, “I’ve got so much to tell you, I don’t know where to start.”

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    I grabbed him close to me. “I’ve got a few things to talk to you about, too. Why don’t we have a picnic? I know of a great place where no one will bother us.”

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    After he showered and changed, I took his hand and said, “The place is only a little hike away. No one goes there, so it should be very private.” I kissed his cheek and he smiled nervously. I wondered what his jitters were about. Maybe something went down with my dad. Alex probably took the job anyway. I wouldn’t be surprised. It upset me to think he’d be afraid to tell me this though. I didn’t want him to ever be afraid to share anything with me.

    Sitting on a picnic blanket, a cool breeze floated over my face. The day was perfect. I decided to help Alex out since he was nervously fiddling with his hair, not saying anything. “Did you take the job for my father? If you did, I won’t be mad.”

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    Flicking his eyes back and forth, he stammered, “U-Um...y-yeah. I sort of had to. I got behind on my payments and got kicked out of my apartment, losing my job. And...well, Marco kind of talked me into it anyway. He said it was for a noble cause, at least.”

    I put my arm around his shoulder. “Well, that depends on how you look at it. My father’s organization is underground. I don’t like it. And I’m going to dissolve it when I get the chance. You see, the governor hires him if they need a case solved that takes muscle and intimidation. The kind that is illegal on the books. That way, no one can come back and point fingers at them politically. My father has protected me from it. I only run our hotels, restaurants, and clubs. Are you sure about this?”

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    He shook his head. “I don’t know...but I gave him my word I’d do it. How bad can it really be?”

    “It would just depend on who you’d be dealing with. I mean, these are really bad guys if they’re asking my father for help. That’s why I didn’t want you involved. But I know you can take care of yourself. Kyle told me you put him in a chokehold.”

    He laughed. “Yeah, after he tried to punch me a few times. I sent him a message.”

    “He deserved it, the punk.” I took Alex’s hands and laid him on his side so I could see his face. Stroking his back, I said, “You know, we need to talk about something. About our future.”

    He swallowed, looking like I’d just landed a bomb on him. “Yeah...um...I need to tell you something, too.”

    “Okay,” I said. The frightened look on his face scared me. “But before you do, I really need to get this off my chest.”

    Closing his eyes, he nodded.

    “You see, the governor’s term is up in a year. That’s when I want to take over. Start fresh. Before my father can use his power to tempt the next governor into using his services. But I can’t take control until I produce an heir.”

    Alex’s face turned white. I quickly went on, “Don’t worry, baby, of course we can’t have a child together. While I was on my business trip, I researched surrogates. There are many reputable places we could use for this. I realize starting a family this soon is a lot to ask, but I really want us to be safe. And if you don’t want to do this, I’m telling you now so you can make a decision.”

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    Tears welled up in his eyes as his frightened look turned to terror.

    “Is it that bad for you to think about?” I asked. “Listen, I love you so much, I’d give everything up. If you didn’t want a child, we could move away. Out of my father’s clutches, but we’d have to start over with no money.”

    But he wouldn’t say anything. Tears streamed down his face.

    I didn’t expect this reaction from him at all. Why did having a child from a surrogate sound so awful to him? I guess it was too much to ask. “Come here,” I whispered. Cradling him in my arms, I said, “Just forget I said anything. Okay?”

    Wiping the tears from his face, he sniffed, still silent.

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    Finally, he asked in a hoarse whisper, “Would it be easier if I were a woman?”

    My God. Was that what he thought this was about? My mind spun over and over to the time I rejected him the day I left. I wished I could go back and redo that day, but I couldn’t. “Oh, baby, are you kidding me? I don’t want a woman. I want the man I fell in love with. Don’t you get it? I’ll do anything for you. You’ve changed my life. I want all of you. Every part. I won’t ever desire a woman. You don’t have to worry about that.”

    But instead of making him feel better, he only cried harder. His plumming crazy a*ss mother was still in his head. How could I get through to him that I loved who he was? I didn’t need a woman in my life. He was what I wanted. But no matter what I said, it made him worse. I just held him as he cried, feeling out of control, not knowing what was going through his mind.

    Finally, he settled down as I lay on my back, still clutching him. I had this shattered treasure in my arms but I didn’t know how to glue back the pieces. How could I fix the self-loathing his mother had inflicted on him? I hoped we could get through this.

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    Post edited by pammiechick on
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