You already know how I feel about this story but I shall share it as well! I love Abby's reaction to the divorce. It's very realistic. And it seems like she doesn't like her mum that much. I can't want to see how this pans out!
Aw...thank you @xJojox ! I really like your story! And I'm loving its setting since I've only visited Australia. Looking forward to the next chapter!!!
I stayed quiet the entire time to the train station. Mum had even tried to talk to me, but I refused to speak. She would call my name several times, and even turn to look at me … but there were no real words. Just tears. Every time she called, I put my head down when she demanded an answer. In the end I was sure she just gave up trying to talk to me.
The trip to the station was about 30 minutes. I pondered what Dad and Rachel talked about after I left. It had only been a half an hour and I was already wondering what everyone was doing. I had done so much crying in one day, I was tired and I hoped I would sleep on the train to just pass the time. I dragged my exhausted body out of the car and grabbed my carry-on bag and put it on my back. My uncle Kevin grabbed a luggage trolley and started loading some of our bags onto it. Sadness swept over me again, because I had to also say good bye to my uncle. I wasn’t really that upset by leaving my uncle, but the way I broke down … anyone would have thought it was my dad and Rachel’s goodbye all over again. I could cry at the drop of hat, because all my emotions were raw, like an open wound. I gave my uncle a peck on the cheek and watched my mother hug her brother as I stood on the step of the train. I was sure that if I got on the train it was going to feel more official. I hesitated. Standing between the train and the platform.
One foot on Adelaide, one foot on my future…
I finally took my foot of the ground. I wanted to stand there for just one moment, but mum pushed me aside as she turned to look back at my uncle. Before I knew it I heard the loud horn of the train. I watched a man in reflective clothing blow a whistle right near my face. The engines got louder and I almost gasped for air as train fumes blew out. When I took a deep breath again I realised it wasn’t the fumes at all. It was me panicking when the doors shut. Tears welled in my eyes and I tried to swallow down hard. There was a lump … and it felt impossible to breathe. I cried hard, but my crying had turned to a silent squealing. I held the door handles and tried to pry the doors apart. But I couldn’t. My mum noticed me fussing by the door and went to place her hand on my shoulder. But I quickly flicked it away and rushed off into the carriage. My first instinct was to find a bathroom, but there were none in sight. There was just cabin, after cabin, after cabin. I crossed through into a different carriage and found a public toilet on the train where there were just seats. Just as I shut the door closed, the operator sounded on the microphone. He gave information about the ride, the duration and the train's cafeteria. I sat on the toilet and just cried as the train left the station.
10 minutes later I was started by a knock at the door.
“Abby. You can’t stay in there forever. We have a bathroom in our cabin if you want to sit in ours.” My mum’s voice bellowed by the door.
“Just get lost okay!” I cried out angrily.
“I’m in cabin 12E.” And I heard no more. I figured I could sit here and sulk with my bag for a long time. But at the end of the day this was likely the only public toilet on this part of the train. I got up from the toilet and went back to the carriage I was initially on. I counted cabin numbers as I went past them and noticed some familiar bags in one of the cabins. I pulled open the door and slumped on the wall lounge. Mum looked straight at me but didn’t say anything. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking because her expression was blank. I was anxious, sad, depressed, angry and every other negative emotion right now. I knew my face said it all. Mum sighed out and grabbed her hand bag.
“You must be hungry. Do you want to go have some dinner? We may as well kill some time since it’s going to be a long ride.”
“Nup. I’m not hungry.” I replied crossing my arms. I lied. I was actually starving.
“Abby you can hate me, resent me or whatever you want. It won’t change anything. Come to dinner please…”
“Go by yourself. You seem to do everything else by yourself. Like make family decisions and leave dad.” Mum sighed out beginning to look upset.
“You will come realise that I was not at fault for this Abby.” It was the first bit of truth I had since I heard about the divorce. What did she mean? As much as I didn’t want to go to the cafeteria, I figured she may have more to say if she didn’t have a bedroom to run back to. She couldn’t exactly escape me on this train and definitely couldn’t escape me asking the questions at dinner.
“Look, fine I’ll come …” I said breathing outward and rolling my eyes. Mum smiled as if she got her way and got up quickly off her lounge. I followed behind her and we found a cafeteria bench to sit at shortly after. I took a menu and had a look at it ignoring her a little. I decided to order the most expensive thing on the menu just to be a brat. Mum raised her eyebrows at the idea of me eating a steak, but still agreed to get it when the waitress came by to take our order.
While waiting for our food, I was tempted to ask all those unanswered questions. It was a little awkward sitting across from each other and not saying a word. It was dark outside; and there was literally nothing much to see other than dark silhouettes of trees and buildings. But mum was gazing out the window just ignoring me at first, then turned to her phone and played games to try and avoid any conversation with me.
I felt like such an alien to her sometimes...
Even though she was playing with her phone I knew she was upset. If it wasn't red puffy eyes, her brow held a worried and sad expression most of the time. Even though we didn't get along, she never stopped to realise how much it hurt me to see her sad too. Did she even acknowledge that I was upset? I drew in a deep breath and prepared to ask her the burning question about their divorce. Finally she turned to look at me. I had an awkward expression on my face.
“Are you feeling train sick?” She asked oddly.
Sick? Yes actually! Sick of you and everything else.
“Nope, I just,” I paused. I sighed again wanting to ask a bunch of things but i couldn't, “I just can’t wait for dinner to get here I’m heaps hungry.” That was a lie again. That's not what i wanted to say at all.
Technically it was my business to ask what really happened. It could have been my fault for all I knew. I could never be completely honest with my mum. She had a good way of shutting people out when all they wanted to do was get in. I would often tell lies and never say what I always meant to say. The only way the truth ever came out is if mum and I argued. Unlike my dad, I could tell him everything!
I gulped down hard and tried again,
“Mum, I have to know. Was any of this my fault?”
“What’s your fault?” I didn’t want to repeat myself; it was like she was acting dumb. It was hard enough to say it the first time so I gave her a puzzled look. She nodded her head sadly and attempted to reply raising her eyebrows,
“I guess the divorce was a long time coming," she shrugged.
That wasn't an answer! I was so sick of closed responses!
I was a little irritated and I didn’t want to get pushy but I still went on,
“Long time coming, as in? …Did you stay together just for me?” Usually it’s a typical thing for parents to stay together for the kids, but I hoped that wasn't the reason. To my surprise, my mum nodded.
Oh my god! All the unhappy years they spent was just for me? And she talks of me resenting her … I bet she’s the one who resents me for her unhappiness.
Mum and I sat quietly through dinner; I had a lot on my mind. There was so much I wanted to say. I wanted to ask how long it had been like this. But I just left it as it was. I just sat back and ate my steak and chips and drank my coke. While I was still eating mum got up half way through her sandwich and just left without a word.
This is how distant she was, I was never going to have what other girls had with their mothers. That closeness. That ‘I can tell mum everything’ relationship. Mum wasn’t the worst mum, but I envied some of the mother daughter relationships in saw in movies and TV shows.
By the time I had finished my dinner and returned to our cabin, mum had her nose in her book and was slowly nodding off to sleep. I pulled out my phone and texted Rachel before it got too late. I texted her and told her how much the train ride was a suck-fest and how much I missed her already. It was so silent, the only noise In our room was my fingers on my touch screen and mums novel pages turning over. Now and then I would hear my mum clear her throat.
After an hour long chit chat on face book, I flicked my phone shut and realised mum was asleep. I decided to leave her as she was and pull my bed out and lay down. I must have been so tired because I didn’t even remember having one thought before I drifted off to sleep as well.
I woke up and it was daylight. I heard the train bell chiming from outside. What the heck? I looked at the time and it was 9:15am. This was going to be Day 2 of boredom.
God I just wish I could sleep forever. I have to stay another 30 hours on this train; I wish we could have got on a plane there.
Mum sheepishly yawned me a good morning, and put her sunglasses on. I didn’t even reply. She handed me a breakfast bar and I leaned up against the cab lounge and started texting Rachel. I ran out of data and credit about 4 hours later. There was just nothing good to do. I didn’t even want to think because I would end up being sad. I felt like this was my life now. Be freaking sad all the time. I just hoped that the sun was brighter in Perth to get me back to where I mentally was before. To cure the sadness and boredom, I decided to listen to classical music and pretended to play the piano with my fingers flicking on my stomach.
The hours on this train seemed like an eternity. Especially without credit. I was on my 3rd nanna nap in a day. I wasn’t sure if it was tiredness, depression or whether i was just plain bored. I noticed that the hours zoomed on and it was already night time. Tomorrow was going to be the last day of travelling and the start of my new life in Perth. At this stage there was just so much uncertainty surrounding my life. Nothing felt normal. I didn't know what school i was going to, what house i was living in or anything. The only thing i did know, was that the train ride was awkward, quiet and almost lonely, even though my mother sat across from me the whole time.
It was going to be one very quiet and boring life with a person who doesn’t even speak to me.
The final day on the train, I was rustling through my clothing and realised i had already ran out of clothes. Mum threw over a pair of her clothes to wear because i began to fuss and whinge about it. I figured since i knew no body in the city, i would wear her granny high pants and dated old baggy shirt. My hair hadn't been washed in 3 days, and i didn't even bother to prepare for looking great, because i felt horrible. I looked across at my mum brushing her hair and i looked down at myself after i threw her clothes on. It looked like her Sunday cleaning clothes, and she actually looked more stylish than i did.
I sat down again and decided to look out and see as much of my new city as I could. It was a nice looking place but it was strange to me. It was green and it kind of reminded me of Adelaide in some ways. I hoped that it was a little more exciting so I could try fit in and like being here for at least a year. Mum began to perk up and announced that the train was going to pull in soon. She pulled down our bags and began to smile. It was the first real smile I had seen in weeks. I still had nothing to smile about.
Was there something about this place that she knew that I didn’t?
We prepared to get off the train and stood with bags beside us the doors parted. Mum got off first and I followed her taking my first step into Perth. I was stiff as a board. I arched my back stretching and finally began to feel a little refreshed. That was until I took a lung full of train fumes. I gagged for a moment and followed mum again lugging my bags behind me. Mum and I wandered around the train platforms like lost dogs. We weren’t even sure where to find the nearest taxi bay. It wouldn’t have been so exhausting if the bags didn’t weigh a ton.
“Things have changed a lot,” Mum huffed.
“Well ask for directions then,” I smartly said. It wasn’t long before I started whining because I truly had enough.
“I’m going to sit down mum, my feet are killing.”
“Abby, you have been on a train for three days! Suck it up,” she snapped. I groaned and put my bags down waiting for mum to hail a taxi.
Finally, a taxi! Oh My God…. My Dam Legs…
Mum got in the taxi and directed the driver to our new home. I didn’t hear all the address but it sounded like an apartment block. I knew mum had already found a job, but i was curious to how she got a rental without actually viewing it. I had never been in an apartment building before, so I got a little excited about the thought of living in a tall building.
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@xjojox this last picuture how cool is your idea with the car !!
and it is so sad
Thank you!! That makes me smile!
<<< me not a writer. i should be tearing out pages and learning things!
i touched up chapter 4 last nite, i hope to get it finished tonight so i can start pix tomorrow.
I stayed quiet the entire time to the train station. Mum had even tried to talk to me, but I refused to speak. She would call my name several times, and even turn to look at me … but there were no real words. Just tears. Every time she called, I put my head down when she demanded an answer. In the end I was sure she just gave up trying to talk to me.
The trip to the station was about 30 minutes. I pondered what Dad and Rachel talked about after I left. It had only been a half an hour and I was already wondering what everyone was doing. I had done so much crying in one day, I was tired and I hoped I would sleep on the train to just pass the time. I dragged my exhausted body out of the car and grabbed my carry-on bag and put it on my back. My uncle Kevin grabbed a luggage trolley and started loading some of our bags onto it. Sadness swept over me again, because I had to also say good bye to my uncle. I wasn’t really that upset by leaving my uncle, but the way I broke down … anyone would have thought it was my dad and Rachel’s goodbye all over again. I could cry at the drop of hat, because all my emotions were raw, like an open wound. I gave my uncle a peck on the cheek and watched my mother hug her brother as I stood on the step of the train. I was sure that if I got on the train it was going to feel more official. I hesitated. Standing between the train and the platform.
One foot on Adelaide, one foot on my future…
I finally took my foot of the ground. I wanted to stand there for just one moment, but mum pushed me aside as she turned to look back at my uncle. Before I knew it I heard the loud horn of the train. I watched a man in reflective clothing blow a whistle right near my face. The engines got louder and I almost gasped for air as train fumes blew out. When I took a deep breath again I realised it wasn’t the fumes at all. It was me panicking when the doors shut. Tears welled in my eyes and I tried to swallow down hard. There was a lump … and it felt impossible to breathe. I cried hard, but my crying had turned to a silent squealing. I held the door handles and tried to pry the doors apart. But I couldn’t. My mum noticed me fussing by the door and went to place her hand on my shoulder. But I quickly flicked it away and rushed off into the carriage. My first instinct was to find a bathroom, but there were none in sight. There was just cabin, after cabin, after cabin. I crossed through into a different carriage and found a public toilet on the train where there were just seats. Just as I shut the door closed, the operator sounded on the microphone. He gave information about the ride, the duration and the train's cafeteria. I sat on the toilet and just cried as the train left the station.
10 minutes later I was started by a knock at the door.
“Abby. You can’t stay in there forever. We have a bathroom in our cabin if you want to sit in ours.” My mum’s voice bellowed by the door.
“Just get lost okay!” I cried out angrily.
“I’m in cabin 12E.” And I heard no more. I figured I could sit here and sulk with my bag for a long time. But at the end of the day this was likely the only public toilet on this part of the train. I got up from the toilet and went back to the carriage I was initially on. I counted cabin numbers as I went past them and noticed some familiar bags in one of the cabins. I pulled open the door and slumped on the wall lounge. Mum looked straight at me but didn’t say anything. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking because her expression was blank. I was anxious, sad, depressed, angry and every other negative emotion right now. I knew my face said it all. Mum sighed out and grabbed her hand bag.
“You must be hungry. Do you want to go have some dinner? We may as well kill some time since it’s going to be a long ride.”
“Nup. I’m not hungry.” I replied crossing my arms. I lied. I was actually starving.
“Abby you can hate me, resent me or whatever you want. It won’t change anything. Come to dinner please…”
“Go by yourself. You seem to do everything else by yourself. Like make family decisions and leave dad.” Mum sighed out beginning to look upset.
“You will come realise that I was not at fault for this Abby.” It was the first bit of truth I had since I heard about the divorce. What did she mean? As much as I didn’t want to go to the cafeteria, I figured she may have more to say if she didn’t have a bedroom to run back to. She couldn’t exactly escape me on this train and definitely couldn’t escape me asking the questions at dinner.
“Look, fine I’ll come …” I said breathing outward and rolling my eyes. Mum smiled as if she got her way and got up quickly off her lounge. I followed behind her and we found a cafeteria bench to sit at shortly after. I took a menu and had a look at it ignoring her a little. I decided to order the most expensive thing on the menu just to be a brat. Mum raised her eyebrows at the idea of me eating a steak, but still agreed to get it when the waitress came by to take our order.
While waiting for our food, I was tempted to ask all those unanswered questions. It was a little awkward sitting across from each other and not saying a word. It was dark outside; and there was literally nothing much to see other than dark silhouettes of trees and buildings. But mum was gazing out the window just ignoring me at first, then turned to her phone and played games to try and avoid any conversation with me.
I felt like such an alien to her sometimes...
Even though she was playing with her phone I knew she was upset. If it wasn't red puffy eyes, her brow held a worried and sad expression most of the time. Even though we didn't get along, she never stopped to realise how much it hurt me to see her sad too. Did she even acknowledge that I was upset? I drew in a deep breath and prepared to ask her the burning question about their divorce. Finally she turned to look at me. I had an awkward expression on my face.
“Are you feeling train sick?” She asked oddly.
Sick? Yes actually! Sick of you and everything else.
“Nope, I just,” I paused. I sighed again wanting to ask a bunch of things but i couldn't, “I just can’t wait for dinner to get here I’m heaps hungry.” That was a lie again. That's not what i wanted to say at all.
Technically it was my business to ask what really happened. It could have been my fault for all I knew. I could never be completely honest with my mum. She had a good way of shutting people out when all they wanted to do was get in. I would often tell lies and never say what I always meant to say. The only way the truth ever came out is if mum and I argued. Unlike my dad, I could tell him everything!
I gulped down hard and tried again,
“Mum, I have to know. Was any of this my fault?”
“What’s your fault?” I didn’t want to repeat myself; it was like she was acting dumb. It was hard enough to say it the first time so I gave her a puzzled look. She nodded her head sadly and attempted to reply raising her eyebrows,
“I guess the divorce was a long time coming," she shrugged.
That wasn't an answer! I was so sick of closed responses!
I was a little irritated and I didn’t want to get pushy but I still went on,
“Long time coming, as in? …Did you stay together just for me?” Usually it’s a typical thing for parents to stay together for the kids, but I hoped that wasn't the reason. To my surprise, my mum nodded.
Oh my god! All the unhappy years they spent was just for me? And she talks of me resenting her … I bet she’s the one who resents me for her unhappiness.
Mum and I sat quietly through dinner; I had a lot on my mind. There was so much I wanted to say. I wanted to ask how long it had been like this. But I just left it as it was. I just sat back and ate my steak and chips and drank my coke. While I was still eating mum got up half way through her sandwich and just left without a word.
This is how distant she was, I was never going to have what other girls had with their mothers. That closeness. That ‘I can tell mum everything’ relationship. Mum wasn’t the worst mum, but I envied some of the mother daughter relationships in saw in movies and TV shows.
By the time I had finished my dinner and returned to our cabin, mum had her nose in her book and was slowly nodding off to sleep. I pulled out my phone and texted Rachel before it got too late. I texted her and told her how much the train ride was a suck-fest and how much I missed her already. It was so silent, the only noise In our room was my fingers on my touch screen and mums novel pages turning over. Now and then I would hear my mum clear her throat.
After an hour long chit chat on face book, I flicked my phone shut and realised mum was asleep. I decided to leave her as she was and pull my bed out and lay down. I must have been so tired because I didn’t even remember having one thought before I drifted off to sleep as well.
I woke up and it was daylight. I heard the train bell chiming from outside. What the heck? I looked at the time and it was 9:15am. This was going to be Day 2 of boredom.
God I just wish I could sleep forever. I have to stay another 30 hours on this train; I wish we could have got on a plane there.
Mum sheepishly yawned me a good morning, and put her sunglasses on. I didn’t even reply. She handed me a breakfast bar and I leaned up against the cab lounge and started texting Rachel. I ran out of data and credit about 4 hours later. There was just nothing good to do. I didn’t even want to think because I would end up being sad. I felt like this was my life now. Be freaking sad all the time. I just hoped that the sun was brighter in Perth to get me back to where I mentally was before. To cure the sadness and boredom, I decided to listen to classical music and pretended to play the piano with my fingers flicking on my stomach.
The hours on this train seemed like an eternity. Especially without credit. I was on my 3rd nanna nap in a day. I wasn’t sure if it was tiredness, depression or whether i was just plain bored. I noticed that the hours zoomed on and it was already night time. Tomorrow was going to be the last day of travelling and the start of my new life in Perth. At this stage there was just so much uncertainty surrounding my life. Nothing felt normal. I didn't know what school i was going to, what house i was living in or anything. The only thing i did know, was that the train ride was awkward, quiet and almost lonely, even though my mother sat across from me the whole time.
It was going to be one very quiet and boring life with a person who doesn’t even speak to me.
The final day on the train, I was rustling through my clothing and realised i had already ran out of clothes. Mum threw over a pair of her clothes to wear because i began to fuss and whinge about it. I figured since i knew no body in the city, i would wear her granny high pants and dated old baggy shirt. My hair hadn't been washed in 3 days, and i didn't even bother to prepare for looking great, because i felt horrible. I looked across at my mum brushing her hair and i looked down at myself after i threw her clothes on. It looked like her Sunday cleaning clothes, and she actually looked more stylish than i did.
I sat down again and decided to look out and see as much of my new city as I could. It was a nice looking place but it was strange to me. It was green and it kind of reminded me of Adelaide in some ways. I hoped that it was a little more exciting so I could try fit in and like being here for at least a year. Mum began to perk up and announced that the train was going to pull in soon. She pulled down our bags and began to smile. It was the first real smile I had seen in weeks. I still had nothing to smile about.
Was there something about this place that she knew that I didn’t?
We prepared to get off the train and stood with bags beside us the doors parted. Mum got off first and I followed her taking my first step into Perth. I was stiff as a board. I arched my back stretching and finally began to feel a little refreshed. That was until I took a lung full of train fumes. I gagged for a moment and followed mum again lugging my bags behind me. Mum and I wandered around the train platforms like lost dogs. We weren’t even sure where to find the nearest taxi bay. It wouldn’t have been so exhausting if the bags didn’t weigh a ton.
“Things have changed a lot,” Mum huffed.
“Well ask for directions then,” I smartly said. It wasn’t long before I started whining because I truly had enough.
“I’m going to sit down mum, my feet are killing.”
“Abby, you have been on a train for three days! Suck it up,” she snapped. I groaned and put my bags down waiting for mum to hail a taxi.
Finally, a taxi! Oh My God…. My Dam Legs…
Mum got in the taxi and directed the driver to our new home. I didn’t hear all the address but it sounded like an apartment block. I knew mum had already found a job, but i was curious to how she got a rental without actually viewing it. I had never been in an apartment building before, so I got a little excited about the thought of living in a tall building.
Would it be just as nice as our old house?
... UP NEXT ... HOME SWEET?
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That chapter left a little more often for suggestion.
Since mum revealed she was not at fault for the divorce.
Which daddy dearest ... hmmm? I guess we will have to see!
I keep checking the board at the time when you update this thread, it's so great.
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