So this morning I saw an "empathy quotient" test going around my Tumblr dash.
It had all the usual problems of internet self-tests. No room for nuance, questions that didn't make sense and that you were forced to answer within very small parameters, and it was very easy to game, as it was obvious what answers would get you certain results. Also there's the whole thing where the idea itself was based in what seems to me to be a deeply flawed conception of autism.
Still though. I tried to answer as best as I could within the parameters it set and I tried to not game it more than could be helped. I scored a 70 out of 80.
Someone else had reblogged it before me with comments about how they would distrust a high score and how it would be crippling to have that much empathy. I don't agree, but I also think that person was using a different definition of empathy. One that seemed too simple and constrained, like the test itself.
Anyway. I googled "high empathy writer", and I found a blog post talking about how fiction is basically empathy in written form, because it's about inhabiting the thoughts and feelings and experiences of another person.
Also welcome home, @CathyTea ! I hope you had a good trip!
I had a great trip ! It rained almost the whole time , which is a treat for me, and my brother had "discussion questions ", so we had many wonderful deep conversations and really came together as grown-up siblings . .. maybe the closest we've been!
Now I'm so happy to be home !
That sounds really nice! And I'm glad you got home safely.
My Sims stories: The Fey of Life - fairytales in life are few and far between (Forum thread HERE) The Chrysanthemum Tango - a story about life, death, magic, and how to be a good landlady (Forum thread HERE) Forget-Me-Not - some things just refuse to stay buried; an Ambrosia Challenge story (Forum thread HERE)
One of my favorite sources for articles providing overviews of research on empathy and compassion is UC Berkeley's "Greater Good in Action."
They've got an empathy quiz, http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/quizzes/take_quiz/14 (I score 109 out of 110, which gives me notice to take measures so that my extreme empathy doesn't become debilitating or affect my wellness and ability to help others).
It was this site that provided resources and articles to help me channel my empath energy into compassion, including self-compassion, and that may be one of best approaches I've learned in my life to turn the sensitivity of an empath into a strength.
In terms of literature, I've found that my empathy and compassion are most engaged and developed through writing, rather than reading, and each of the works I've read written by members of this circle engage my empathy and compassion and help me develop understanding. That's what art does!
Also welcome home, @CathyTea ! I hope you had a good trip!
I had a great trip ! It rained almost the whole time , which is a treat for me, and my brother had "discussion questions ", so we had many wonderful deep conversations and really came together as grown-up siblings . .. maybe the closest we've been!
Now I'm so happy to be home !
That sounds really nice! And I'm glad you got home safely.
me too being sissy is hard. lol. not complaining had fun but it was new challenge for me. tackle hugs sissy.
Also welcome home, @CathyTea ! I hope you had a good trip!
I had a great trip ! It rained almost the whole time , which is a treat for me, and my brother had "discussion questions ", so we had many wonderful deep conversations and really came together as grown-up siblings . .. maybe the closest we've been!
Now I'm so happy to be home !
That sounds really nice! And I'm glad you got home safely.
me too being sissy is hard. lol. not complaining had fun but it was new challenge for me. tackle hugs sissy.
Tackle-hugs back! You did a great job while I was gone, Lil Sis, and it made my trip so much more relaxing knowing that you were taking care of everything!
It was a complicated return flight--but safe! So, I'm tired. I still have lots and lots and lots to process from the trip!
One of my favorite sources for articles providing overviews of research on empathy and compassion is UC Berkeley's "Greater Good in Action."
They've got an empathy quiz, http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/quizzes/take_quiz/14 (I score 109 out of 110, which gives me notice to take measures so that my extreme empathy doesn't become debilitating or affect my wellness and ability to help others).
It was this site that provided resources and articles to help me channel my empath energy into compassion, including self-compassion, and that may be one of best approaches I've learned in my life to turn the sensitivity of an empath into a strength.
In terms of literature, I've found that my empathy and compassion are most engaged and developed through writing, rather than reading, and each of the works I've read written by members of this circle engage my empathy and compassion and help me develop understanding. That's what art does!
I got a 104 on that test. Would have gotten higher if I'd answered certain questions a different way - like I chose neutral for the seeing two sides question because there are way more than two sides to every question. There are infinite sides. Also I am wary of the fallacy where people assume that there are two sides, that both sides are equally valid, and that a compromise should always be found in the middle, even up to and including situations where one side wants to cause great death and suffering and the other side wants to prevent the death and suffering. Also that stance is often used for victim blaming, and I find few things as vile as victim blaming.
It is a better test overall than the one I found on Tumblr though.
I look back at it now and I cringe, because in those seven years I’ve improved so much, both with my pictures and my writing.
But still.
This is where Seth and Sarah started. This was the first Sims story I ever finished. I faced so many challenges, but in the end I triumphed, like Lilith, and I finished the story. I proved myself a writer, even in the face of self-doubt and hate and harassment and despair and the loss of so many things. But I gained more than I lost. So much more.
I may see you as early work now, Valley. But I do still love you, I am still very thankful for you, and I will never forget you. How could I, when after dinner I will be right back at it, writing Seth and Sarah?
@CathyTea and @RipuAncestor I owe the beautiful creepiness of DMD to the world's creator, @Quailhogs. I've done very little to edit Wraith other than adding a few of my own colorful characters.
I look back at it now and I cringe, because in those seven years I’ve improved so much, both with my pictures and my writing.
But still.
This is where Seth and Sarah started. This was the first Sims story I ever finished. I faced so many challenges, but in the end I triumphed, like Lilith, and I finished the story. I proved myself a writer, even in the face of self-doubt and hate and harassment and despair and the loss of so many things. But I gained more than I lost. So much more.
I may see you as early work now, Valley. But I do still love you, I am still very thankful for you, and I will never forget you. How could I, when after dinner I will be right back at it, writing Seth and Sarah?
Fire. Death. Alone.
/salute
@MedleyMisty Happy 7 year Valley anniversary! I cringe when I look back at early chapters of my first (chronological) story - My Life with Criminals... though that title might now be more appropriate for say Rachel Colt...I am also a bit self-conscious of my early Kass chapters too. But we live and we learn. I think I've made improvements. For the record, I thought Valley was phenomenal, but I can see little (good) changes in your later writing also.
@CathyTea and @RipuAncestor I owe the beautiful creepiness of DMD to the world's creator, @Quailhogs. I've done very little to edit Wraith other than adding a few of my own colorful characters.
@MedleyMisty Happy Blogaversary! Seven years is a very long time in the growth and development of a writer! I'd love to hear about some of the ways you've grown!
@CathyTea and @RipuAncestor I owe the beautiful creepiness of DMD to the world's creator, @Quailhogs. I've done very little to edit Wraith other than adding a few of my own colorful characters.
DMD is my mature-theme Simblr story, Darkness May Dream, set on the fictional planet, Kr'v in the same unknown star system as Simterra, the planet where all my other stories take place (including Kass'). The story is about the Kr'viot vampire lord and his family, told from the perspective of his third wife, Cora Mae, who was "taken" (albeit willingly) from Simterra. She is adjusting to life on Kr'v, having gained supposed immortality, but at what cost? The link is in my signature below and you can read the story from the beginning by clicking there if you're interested. No pressure.
A friend brought up that Seth wouldn't score very high on empathy tests. What about your characters?
Most of my TS4 characters have high empathy--and at least one (onezero) is an empath.
In a conversation with ShannonSimsFan, she mentioned that TS4 Sims seem really empathetic and compassionate. I've noticed this, too, with lots of autonomous caring actions and real concern for how others feel. Even my Sims with the mean trait feel badly when their uncontrolled mean actions make others feel bad. And the evil ones, too, know how others feel--they just feel good when others feel bad.
Now TS3 is a completely different story! Many of the TS3 Sims, especially Townies, NPCs, and premades, seem unaware of how others feel or how their actions or words make them feel, and they don't seem to care much, either.
In Whisper, the oldest IF who became real seems to be an empath, and Marigold and CT are quite empathetic. But Bobobo is not, at all! And most don't seem to be. I actually really enjoy that because it makes the dynamics so interesting!
I got a 94 out of 110 on this particular quiz. I answered neutral for the two sides thing too. I also have a hard time thinking from the perspective of the other person while I am upset and in a critical mood (question 2). I have been working on thinking before speaking. I am much, much better at conveying my thoughts clearly and respectfully in writing, but when another person is "critical" and "disrespectful" toward me as a person, I find it hard to not be defensive. I think that's one of my biggest pet peeves - I have a hard time respecting someone who doesn't respect me. I get pretty ticked off about humans who disrespect other humans and who take advantage of others (hence this theme comes up a lot in my writing).
Also I struggled with question #9 - if I know I'm right about something, I don't waste time listening to other people's arguments. I try to weigh my options carefully when making a decision, but once I've made my decision about something, it really annoys me when someone tries to talk me out of it. So I guess I'll listen to another person's argument the first time around, but if they continue to try and jam something down my throat after I've already clearly chosen something else, I don't waste time with people like that. Like I struggle with self-doubt sometimes and anxiety and depression. Sometimes I make a decision for my own personal health and sanity (and my marriage) and that's not necessarily in another's best interest. I hate having to justify my choices, and get really annoyed and upset when I know I made the right decision for me (and my husband) and someone else refuses to see that and still tries to change my mind so I answered that question "neutral." I hope that makes sense.
Sometimes I wonder if I come off "cold" to people, especially about kids. I love kids. I've worked with kids a good bit, but I don't have my own, and I'm not planning to anytime soon. I feel okay about not having kids, like I don't need kids to be or feel fulfilled and I wish some people would understand that. I also don't feel like I have that natural mothering instinct so when I worked with kids, this was something that caused me doubts about my ability to be a good supervisor.
I also feel a bit ticked off by the double s.exist standard in the workplace. If you, as a man, are doing your job, no one thinks twice, other than maybe you're a hard boss. But if you, as a woman, make a similar decision, you come off as the witch with the b or an ice queen. Sometimes, in positions of leaderships, I've had to tell men and women how it is, and I always try to do so in a respectful manner at the appropriate time away from other staff and clients, but this isn't always taken the right way from those who are subordinate.
Like a particular coworker of mine once told me I needed to "handle emails" more carefully because she was having a bad day and was offended by my wording. When I went back and reread the email, I didn't see anything particularly wrong in my word choice. I asked my husband and then my boss who confirmed this. When my coworker complained again, I told her that I understand she is having a bad day, and I recognize that this can indeed affect things in the workplace, but I still needed her to arrive at work on time or call in a substitute. Needless to say, she didn't take it well and complained to my boss (who backed me up) and only then did this coworker back down. My boss is a man though, and it irks me that I needed a man to intervene before she would listen to me and show me respect. It's not that I don't care that she's struggling, but I will not let her play victim to my sympathy and therefore let the workplace suffer and our clients as a result. I think this is fair, though perhaps it isn't the most empathic. That also made answering #15 - comforting someone who is upset - a hard question to answer because it varies based on the situation. Of course, I want to comfort my spouse, family, friends, colleagues, etc when they are upset, but when a person is leveraging their emotions to gain some sympathy or empathy from me, it really ticks me off.
On the other hand, I love celebrating and I love making people happy, and I work to bring little bits of joy to people's days, regardless of who they are. Like a smile and a greeting to the greeter at the store and a "have a nice day" to the cashier. Like bringing doughnuts to colleagues as a surprise. Like adding an extra little note to my work emails like "enjoy the nice weather while it lasts" or "remember you're an important part of the team and I value you as a person" during Valentine's Day week.
I digress.
I think Kass would be quite similar in her responses to people. I see Kass though as a younger, more immature version of myself (at least where she's at now) and so she's probably not as confident and bold in her language... yet.
In terms of my other characters, they all have empathy to varying degrees, some way more than others. Like I view Constance and in FRWL as a person with empathy. I think Cora Mae has shown varying degrees of pity, compassion, and sympathy in DMD, with occasional empathy, especially in upcoming chapters. I think Andromeda, Andi, has a good deal of compassion and empathy in KCLKF and Carina, Cari, has her moments also. I think Davis might also show compassion and empathy to others at times, especially given all the things he's been through.
EDIT: P.S. Mirvande, in DMD, is a genuine empath... as you will see in chapters to come.
Now TS3 is a completely different story! Many of the TS3 Sims, especially Townies, NPCs, and premades, seem unaware of how others feel or how their actions or words make them feel, and they don't seem to care much, either.
@CathyTea Okay, as a side note, I always felt a bit annoyed by the fact that Sims seem to "neglect" their babies/toddlers. I mean, even the butler, in DMD, stood and waited for one of the children to cry for over an hour before changing his diaper. (So I'm not kidding later when I say Malekto is a difficult child and people don't want to take care of him). But this seems to be an autonomous choice for Sims... like the immediate "place baby on ground after birth" thing even when there's a crib in the room. When I switched to Kerrin briefly after she left her father's household (er... was kicked out)... she left one of her "babies" in the snow for over an hour. The baby had the little "cold" symbol above her head and was buried beneath a mound of white. I kept hoping Kerrin would go back for the child, but she didn't... at least not right away.
On the flip side, I always feel incredibly good when my Sim has been trying to romance another Sim for awhile and the other Sim shares a secret which turns out to be "I love you." My heart is warmed, and I feel loved myself, as if I am experience the flurries of a new romance and I am the direct recipient of their love. especially when I wasn't expecting it.
So in game romance seems to work well for me in TS3 and the Sims show a good bit of empathy and care.
Okay, so my posts here have been short and curt lately because most of my focus has been going to finishing Seth's latest letter, which gave me a case of the Paralyzing Perfectionisms.
I don’t trust the other humans to make anything real. Maybe where you are, with the doors and the house that is keeping you, you are cardboard. I don’t think so, but I don’t know for sure. Even if you are on a cereal box, you sound very real to me.
Here, though, in this city with its hungry sun, I am sure that it is the other humans who are cardboard. They are thin and blurry, and I don’t think they have ever tasted caramel.
I scored a 98 out of 110 on that empathy test... I think I lost most of my points in some questions because I was like "oh man, if I strongly agree/disagree with this, it feels like I'm bragging with my skills of knowing how other people feel". I am the fail . I also answered neutral on the two sides -thing for the same reasons as Medley.
Also @AdamsEve1231 I encourage you not to feel too bad about the lack of "natural maternal instinct". I'm studying to become a kindergarten teacher and I've already worked with kids for years and I don't feel naturally maternal either. I do naturally care about kids and feel empathy and am very caring, but I'm aiming more to being a nice, caring and reasonable (but also reasonably boundary-setting) teacher instead. And outside of work I want to be The Cool Aunt to my friends' kids . Also I think I too sometimes come off as rather cold to some people because it usually takes a long time for me to actually start talking or even smiling in a new environment (in some environments it can take longer than I even spend in it). Aaand then there's my often blunt way of wording things (I'm way more blunt when I talk than when I write) and all.
Anyway, on to the question about characters... I think a lot of my main characters in my Sims stories at least have high empathy. Right now Sonny from Forge-Me-Not isn't being very empathetic, but he's also in a very stressful situation where he's pretty wrapped up in his own problems. But the rest are usually quite insightful and in tune with other people's feelings. It usually becomes especially evident when the writing happens from the characters' point of view. Also Phil is an empath, especially when it comes to loving feelings (obviously). And Tad is sort of an empath when it comes to dying moments. It's been stated a couple of times that he literally feels the pain and sadness and despair and all (or at least an echo of it) of everything that dies. And considering how many things in the universe die at every moment... well, it s.ucks to be Tad.
Post edited by RipuAncestor on
My Sims stories: The Fey of Life - fairytales in life are few and far between (Forum thread HERE) The Chrysanthemum Tango - a story about life, death, magic, and how to be a good landlady (Forum thread HERE) Forget-Me-Not - some things just refuse to stay buried; an Ambrosia Challenge story (Forum thread HERE)
My Sims stories: The Fey of Life - fairytales in life are few and far between (Forum thread HERE) The Chrysanthemum Tango - a story about life, death, magic, and how to be a good landlady (Forum thread HERE) Forget-Me-Not - some things just refuse to stay buried; an Ambrosia Challenge story (Forum thread HERE)
Well, first off, Happy Blogaversary to @MedleyMisty!
Also, I finally took that empathy quiz and got a...64 out of 110? It tells me that I have a moderate sense...for all of it I think. I was sort of expecting it to be relatively low.
My guess is, events in the past may have dulled my empathy toward others. When enough people have teased and picked on you, you just kind of stop caring. (My maternal grandmother didn't exactly help things back then either)
In fact, at some point I think I got pushed beyond indifference, into some strange form of sociopathy. The feeling of Schadenfreude was (and still kind of is) relatively common for me to feel when someone who was nasty to me hits misfortune.
Going back to aforementioned grandmother, apparently by growing up, I was becoming a horrible child in her eyes. She would repeatedly yell at me, say I was not a nice girl, and think I was faking it when I didn't feel well. (I can't exactly fake a broken bone, though)
When she finally died (a little over eleven years ago, for anyone curious), I was sort of the odd one out, in that I was the only one not crying when it came to attending her wake. If anything, I felt relieved.
My guess is, said relief came from knowing she would never belittle or insult me again. She treated me so badly, I didn't even mourn her when her time came.
Of course, now, in present day, I guess this blunted my empathy to the point I barely notice it's still there (at least for humans: for animals, I care a lot more about them). It's led me to hardly even care or find some twisted humor when something bad happens to someone (if I don't care for them: I actually have empathy for those I care about)
How does this translate into my writing? Well;
It could be part of why The Builder/Malum was such an atrocious villain. Among other reasons, they probably saw humanity as a whole as a terrible thing (knowing what little of their past is revealed, this makes sense). To them, humans were the real monsters.
Perhaps being evil itself was also a big factor: All of the vilest acts in history were committed by humans (see the chapter "The Mantis And The Cicada" for a few examples), therefore, Malum was created by the very species she loathes the most.
Her mindset seems to be "It's your fault I exist, now I will kill you all as punishment". Had the events of the Final Arc gone even slightly badly (all twelve jurors need to cast a verdict as 'guilty' before Meliora is defeated), Malum would have succeeded, and humanity as a whole would be obliterated.
There's probably some more examples and such, along with some other things, but eh, I already written a fair amount (for me anyway)
I was expecting the lowest empathy score, with 68 out of 110. But alas...sorry @rednenemon.
Is it an autism thing? Probably. I always felt that the short descriptor of "autistic people tend to lack empathy" is true in some sense, but very loaded. I've met very few fellow autists who truly lacked empathy or the capacity for it. I think it gets expressed in different/stunted ways ("I know you're feeling bad but there's nothing I can say or do that won't make it worse" is common for me). Funny enough, I scored well with Affective Empathy! Troubles with reading faces and feelings are such a classic autistic symptom but it's always been the least concerning thing about me. [shrug]
Cognitive Empathy is hard, though. I scored moderately, which is comforting. It could have been worryingly low instead! But it's a difficult part of being empathetic. Not every emotion is simple to insert yourself into. Sometimes you don't want to, because it won't do the other person's experiences and feelings any justice. Sometimes I'm just clouded by pre-existing ideas and prejudices against someone or their ideas and won't do it, at least not easily.
So I hardly write about the empathetic of the world. Those who have a part stunted are so much more fun! It's why Cicadas has a lot of acting without thinking, especially in regards to decisions that emotionally devastate others (i.e. killing yourself). It's not even to say that everyone who does such a thing is devoid of empathy 100% of the time but a lot of decisions can be made without it, for better or for worse.
The closest character to my sense of empathy night actually be Franco. I think he'd score fine on such a test, maybe even better, but he has a lot to develop. Hannah is a perfect study of the extent of his empathy. He reads her surface emotions well (being depressed, being scared) but not that he is passively causing deeper ones like feeling alone and vulnerable. He can place himself in her viewpoint well enough, as a lot of her troubles are obvious and easy to conceptualize. But he gets stuck at the point of actually helping her. While he is a selfish, bratty man in many ways, he doesn't want to make things worse when he very easily could.
Comments
It had all the usual problems of internet self-tests. No room for nuance, questions that didn't make sense and that you were forced to answer within very small parameters, and it was very easy to game, as it was obvious what answers would get you certain results. Also there's the whole thing where the idea itself was based in what seems to me to be a deeply flawed conception of autism.
Still though. I tried to answer as best as I could within the parameters it set and I tried to not game it more than could be helped. I scored a 70 out of 80.
Someone else had reblogged it before me with comments about how they would distrust a high score and how it would be crippling to have that much empathy. I don't agree, but I also think that person was using a different definition of empathy. One that seemed too simple and constrained, like the test itself.
Anyway. I googled "high empathy writer", and I found a blog post talking about how fiction is basically empathy in written form, because it's about inhabiting the thoughts and feelings and experiences of another person.
What do you guys think?
The Fey of Life - fairytales in life are few and far between (Forum thread HERE)
The Chrysanthemum Tango - a story about life, death, magic, and how to be a good landlady (Forum thread HERE)
Forget-Me-Not - some things just refuse to stay buried; an Ambrosia Challenge story (Forum thread HERE)
One of my favorite sources for articles providing overviews of research on empathy and compassion is UC Berkeley's "Greater Good in Action."
They've got an empathy quiz, http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/quizzes/take_quiz/14 (I score 109 out of 110, which gives me notice to take measures so that my extreme empathy doesn't become debilitating or affect my wellness and ability to help others).
I've really enjoyed these articles there:
How to Avoid the Empathy Trap
When Empathy Hurts, Compassion Can Heal
It was this site that provided resources and articles to help me channel my empath energy into compassion, including self-compassion, and that may be one of best approaches I've learned in my life to turn the sensitivity of an empath into a strength.
In terms of literature, I've found that my empathy and compassion are most engaged and developed through writing, rather than reading, and each of the works I've read written by members of this circle engage my empathy and compassion and help me develop understanding. That's what art does!
Do you also play The Elder Scrolls Online? You can find me there as CathyTea, too!
me too being sissy is hard. lol. not complaining had fun but it was new challenge for me. tackle hugs sissy.
Tackle-hugs back! You did a great job while I was gone, Lil Sis, and it made my trip so much more relaxing knowing that you were taking care of everything!
It was a complicated return flight--but safe! So, I'm tired. I still have lots and lots and lots to process from the trip!
Do you also play The Elder Scrolls Online? You can find me there as CathyTea, too!
I got a 104 on that test. Would have gotten higher if I'd answered certain questions a different way - like I chose neutral for the seeing two sides question because there are way more than two sides to every question. There are infinite sides. Also I am wary of the fallacy where people assume that there are two sides, that both sides are equally valid, and that a compromise should always be found in the middle, even up to and including situations where one side wants to cause great death and suffering and the other side wants to prevent the death and suffering. Also that stance is often used for victim blaming, and I find few things as vile as victim blaming.
It is a better test overall than the one I found on Tumblr though.
I look back at it now and I cringe, because in those seven years I’ve improved so much, both with my pictures and my writing.
But still.
This is where Seth and Sarah started. This was the first Sims story I ever finished. I faced so many challenges, but in the end I triumphed, like Lilith, and I finished the story. I proved myself a writer, even in the face of self-doubt and hate and harassment and despair and the loss of so many things. But I gained more than I lost. So much more.
I may see you as early work now, Valley. But I do still love you, I am still very thankful for you, and I will never forget you. How could I, when after dinner I will be right back at it, writing Seth and Sarah?
Fire. Death. Alone.
/salute
@CathyTea and @RipuAncestor I owe the beautiful creepiness of DMD to the world's creator, @Quailhogs. I've done very little to edit Wraith other than adding a few of my own colorful characters.
On that note, 3 new DMD chapters...
Craving (nsfw)
Rejected
For Now
Find me elsewhere:
My EA App ID: livinasimminlife
Livin' A Simmin' Life Stories
My Worldbuilding Blog
Simblr
My Sims Pinterest
@MedleyMisty Happy 7 year Valley anniversary! I cringe when I look back at early chapters of my first (chronological) story - My Life with Criminals... though that title might now be more appropriate for say Rachel Colt...I am also a bit self-conscious of my early Kass chapters too. But we live and we learn. I think I've made improvements. For the record, I thought Valley was phenomenal, but I can see little (good) changes in your later writing also.
Find me elsewhere:
My EA App ID: livinasimminlife
Livin' A Simmin' Life Stories
My Worldbuilding Blog
Simblr
My Sims Pinterest
sorry about yesterday adamandeve. i was tired but sis is back now. whats dmd? you and sis have so many stories at times i get lost.
Do you also play The Elder Scrolls Online? You can find me there as CathyTea, too!
@friendsfan367 You have nothing to apologize for...
DMD is my mature-theme Simblr story, Darkness May Dream, set on the fictional planet, Kr'v in the same unknown star system as Simterra, the planet where all my other stories take place (including Kass'). The story is about the Kr'viot vampire lord and his family, told from the perspective of his third wife, Cora Mae, who was "taken" (albeit willingly) from Simterra. She is adjusting to life on Kr'v, having gained supposed immortality, but at what cost? The link is in my signature below and you can read the story from the beginning by clicking there if you're interested. No pressure.
Find me elsewhere:
My EA App ID: livinasimminlife
Livin' A Simmin' Life Stories
My Worldbuilding Blog
Simblr
My Sims Pinterest
Most of my TS4 characters have high empathy--and at least one (onezero) is an empath.
In a conversation with ShannonSimsFan, she mentioned that TS4 Sims seem really empathetic and compassionate. I've noticed this, too, with lots of autonomous caring actions and real concern for how others feel. Even my Sims with the mean trait feel badly when their uncontrolled mean actions make others feel bad. And the evil ones, too, know how others feel--they just feel good when others feel bad.
Now TS3 is a completely different story! Many of the TS3 Sims, especially Townies, NPCs, and premades, seem unaware of how others feel or how their actions or words make them feel, and they don't seem to care much, either.
In Whisper, the oldest IF who became real seems to be an empath, and Marigold and CT are quite empathetic. But Bobobo is not, at all! And most don't seem to be. I actually really enjoy that because it makes the dynamics so interesting!
Do you also play The Elder Scrolls Online? You can find me there as CathyTea, too!
ayden was empathetic as a child as a teen i don't know yet hes keeping me busy.
Also I struggled with question #9 - if I know I'm right about something, I don't waste time listening to other people's arguments. I try to weigh my options carefully when making a decision, but once I've made my decision about something, it really annoys me when someone tries to talk me out of it. So I guess I'll listen to another person's argument the first time around, but if they continue to try and jam something down my throat after I've already clearly chosen something else, I don't waste time with people like that. Like I struggle with self-doubt sometimes and anxiety and depression. Sometimes I make a decision for my own personal health and sanity (and my marriage) and that's not necessarily in another's best interest. I hate having to justify my choices, and get really annoyed and upset when I know I made the right decision for me (and my husband) and someone else refuses to see that and still tries to change my mind so I answered that question "neutral." I hope that makes sense.
Sometimes I wonder if I come off "cold" to people, especially about kids. I love kids. I've worked with kids a good bit, but I don't have my own, and I'm not planning to anytime soon. I feel okay about not having kids, like I don't need kids to be or feel fulfilled and I wish some people would understand that. I also don't feel like I have that natural mothering instinct so when I worked with kids, this was something that caused me doubts about my ability to be a good supervisor.
I also feel a bit ticked off by the double s.exist standard in the workplace. If you, as a man, are doing your job, no one thinks twice, other than maybe you're a hard boss. But if you, as a woman, make a similar decision, you come off as the witch with the b or an ice queen. Sometimes, in positions of leaderships, I've had to tell men and women how it is, and I always try to do so in a respectful manner at the appropriate time away from other staff and clients, but this isn't always taken the right way from those who are subordinate.
Like a particular coworker of mine once told me I needed to "handle emails" more carefully because she was having a bad day and was offended by my wording. When I went back and reread the email, I didn't see anything particularly wrong in my word choice. I asked my husband and then my boss who confirmed this. When my coworker complained again, I told her that I understand she is having a bad day, and I recognize that this can indeed affect things in the workplace, but I still needed her to arrive at work on time or call in a substitute. Needless to say, she didn't take it well and complained to my boss (who backed me up) and only then did this coworker back down. My boss is a man though, and it irks me that I needed a man to intervene before she would listen to me and show me respect. It's not that I don't care that she's struggling, but I will not let her play victim to my sympathy and therefore let the workplace suffer and our clients as a result. I think this is fair, though perhaps it isn't the most empathic. That also made answering #15 - comforting someone who is upset - a hard question to answer because it varies based on the situation. Of course, I want to comfort my spouse, family, friends, colleagues, etc when they are upset, but when a person is leveraging their emotions to gain some sympathy or empathy from me, it really ticks me off.
On the other hand, I love celebrating and I love making people happy, and I work to bring little bits of joy to people's days, regardless of who they are. Like a smile and a greeting to the greeter at the store and a "have a nice day" to the cashier. Like bringing doughnuts to colleagues as a surprise. Like adding an extra little note to my work emails like "enjoy the nice weather while it lasts" or "remember you're an important part of the team and I value you as a person" during Valentine's Day week.
I digress.
I think Kass would be quite similar in her responses to people. I see Kass though as a younger, more immature version of myself (at least where she's at now) and so she's probably not as confident and bold in her language... yet.
In terms of my other characters, they all have empathy to varying degrees, some way more than others. Like I view Constance and in FRWL as a person with empathy. I think Cora Mae has shown varying degrees of pity, compassion, and sympathy in DMD, with occasional empathy, especially in upcoming chapters. I think Andromeda, Andi, has a good deal of compassion and empathy in KCLKF and Carina, Cari, has her moments also. I think Davis might also show compassion and empathy to others at times, especially given all the things he's been through.
EDIT: P.S. Mirvande, in DMD, is a genuine empath... as you will see in chapters to come.
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@CathyTea Okay, as a side note, I always felt a bit annoyed by the fact that Sims seem to "neglect" their babies/toddlers. I mean, even the butler, in DMD, stood and waited for one of the children to cry for over an hour before changing his diaper. (So I'm not kidding later when I say Malekto is a difficult child and people don't want to take care of him). But this seems to be an autonomous choice for Sims... like the immediate "place baby on ground after birth" thing even when there's a crib in the room. When I switched to Kerrin briefly after she left her father's household (er... was kicked out)... she left one of her "babies" in the snow for over an hour. The baby had the little "cold" symbol above her head and was buried beneath a mound of white. I kept hoping Kerrin would go back for the child, but she didn't... at least not right away.
On the flip side, I always feel incredibly good when my Sim has been trying to romance another Sim for awhile and the other Sim shares a secret which turns out to be "I love you." My heart is warmed, and I feel loved myself, as if I am experience the flurries of a new romance and I am the direct recipient of their love.
So in game romance seems to work well for me in TS3 and the Sims show a good bit of empathy and care.
Find me elsewhere:
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Livin' A Simmin' Life Stories
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But I finally finished it!
Caramel Centers
I don’t trust the other humans to make anything real. Maybe where you are, with the doors and the house that is keeping you, you are cardboard. I don’t think so, but I don’t know for sure. Even if you are on a cereal box, you sound very real to me.
Here, though, in this city with its hungry sun, I am sure that it is the other humans who are cardboard. They are thin and blurry, and I don’t think they have ever tasted caramel.
Also @AdamsEve1231 I encourage you not to feel too bad about the lack of "natural maternal instinct". I'm studying to become a kindergarten teacher and I've already worked with kids for years and I don't feel naturally maternal either. I do naturally care about kids and feel empathy and am very caring, but I'm aiming more to being a nice, caring and reasonable (but also reasonably boundary-setting) teacher instead. And outside of work I want to be The Cool Aunt to my friends' kids
Anyway, on to the question about characters... I think a lot of my main characters in my Sims stories at least have high empathy. Right now Sonny from Forge-Me-Not isn't being very empathetic, but he's also in a very stressful situation where he's pretty wrapped up in his own problems. But the rest are usually quite insightful and in tune with other people's feelings. It usually becomes especially evident when the writing happens from the characters' point of view. Also Phil is an empath, especially when it comes to loving feelings (obviously). And Tad is sort of an empath when it comes to dying moments. It's been stated a couple of times that he literally feels the pain and sadness and despair and all (or at least an echo of it) of everything that dies. And considering how many things in the universe die at every moment... well, it s.ucks to be Tad.
The Fey of Life - fairytales in life are few and far between (Forum thread HERE)
The Chrysanthemum Tango - a story about life, death, magic, and how to be a good landlady (Forum thread HERE)
Forget-Me-Not - some things just refuse to stay buried; an Ambrosia Challenge story (Forum thread HERE)
The Fey of Life - fairytales in life are few and far between (Forum thread HERE)
The Chrysanthemum Tango - a story about life, death, magic, and how to be a good landlady (Forum thread HERE)
Forget-Me-Not - some things just refuse to stay buried; an Ambrosia Challenge story (Forum thread HERE)
Also, I finally took that empathy quiz and got a...64 out of 110? It tells me that I have a moderate sense...for all of it I think. I was sort of expecting it to be relatively low.
My guess is, events in the past may have dulled my empathy toward others. When enough people have teased and picked on you, you just kind of stop caring. (My maternal grandmother didn't exactly help things back then either)
In fact, at some point I think I got pushed beyond indifference, into some strange form of sociopathy. The feeling of Schadenfreude was (and still kind of is) relatively common for me to feel when someone who was nasty to me hits misfortune.
When she finally died (a little over eleven years ago, for anyone curious), I was sort of the odd one out, in that I was the only one not crying when it came to attending her wake. If anything, I felt relieved.
My guess is, said relief came from knowing she would never belittle or insult me again. She treated me so badly, I didn't even mourn her when her time came.
Of course, now, in present day, I guess this blunted my empathy to the point I barely notice it's still there (at least for humans: for animals, I care a lot more about them). It's led me to hardly even care or find some twisted humor when something bad happens to someone (if I don't care for them: I actually have empathy for those I care about)
How does this translate into my writing? Well;
Perhaps being evil itself was also a big factor: All of the vilest acts in history were committed by humans (see the chapter "The Mantis And The Cicada" for a few examples), therefore, Malum was created by the very species she loathes the most.
Her mindset seems to be "It's your fault I exist, now I will kill you all as punishment". Had the events of the Final Arc gone even slightly badly (all twelve jurors need to cast a verdict as 'guilty' before Meliora is defeated), Malum would have succeeded, and humanity as a whole would be obliterated.
There's probably some more examples and such, along with some other things, but eh, I already written a fair amount (for me anyway)
Part One(Complete 9/24/16) /Part Two(on hold)/Short Stories(on hold)/Twinbrook 1996(on hold)/Ten Crystal Hearts (on hold)
I own the TS3 Store as of 12/11/16 (sort of. It's complicated)
Is it an autism thing? Probably. I always felt that the short descriptor of "autistic people tend to lack empathy" is true in some sense, but very loaded. I've met very few fellow autists who truly lacked empathy or the capacity for it. I think it gets expressed in different/stunted ways ("I know you're feeling bad but there's nothing I can say or do that won't make it worse" is common for me). Funny enough, I scored well with Affective Empathy! Troubles with reading faces and feelings are such a classic autistic symptom but it's always been the least concerning thing about me. [shrug]
Cognitive Empathy is hard, though. I scored moderately, which is comforting. It could have been worryingly low instead! But it's a difficult part of being empathetic. Not every emotion is simple to insert yourself into. Sometimes you don't want to, because it won't do the other person's experiences and feelings any justice. Sometimes I'm just clouded by pre-existing ideas and prejudices against someone or their ideas and won't do it, at least not easily.
So I hardly write about the empathetic of the world. Those who have a part stunted are so much more fun! It's why Cicadas has a lot of acting without thinking, especially in regards to decisions that emotionally devastate others (i.e. killing yourself). It's not even to say that everyone who does such a thing is devoid of empathy 100% of the time but a lot of decisions can be made without it, for better or for worse.
The closest character to my sense of empathy night actually be Franco. I think he'd score fine on such a test, maybe even better, but he has a lot to develop. Hannah is a perfect study of the extent of his empathy. He reads her surface emotions well (being depressed, being scared) but not that he is passively causing deeper ones like feeling alone and vulnerable. He can place himself in her viewpoint well enough, as a lot of her troubles are obvious and easy to conceptualize. But he gets stuck at the point of actually helping her. While he is a selfish, bratty man in many ways, he doesn't want to make things worse when he very easily could.
Idk. I like visiting that theme.
outrun / blog / tunglr