An old women was caught shoplifting a can of peaches.
During her court appearance the judge asked the lady "Tell me why did you steal the peaches?" to which the old lady replied, "Your honor I was very hungry because my husband and I have no money to eat".
The judge then asked the old lady "How many peaches were in the can?"
"Six" she replied.
"Ok i'm going to give you one day in prison for each peach."
All of a sudden, the wife's husband stood up and objected the judge's ruling.
"Your honor I have to admit, last week she stole a can of peas".
Wife: He spends too much time doing pointless stuff.
Therapist: Is this true?
Husband: Hey, teaching a dog how to use a throwing knife is not pointless!
Comments
They didn't fit.
because he was bonely...
but, john came fifth, and won a toaster... soo
During her court appearance the judge asked the lady "Tell me why did you steal the peaches?" to which the old lady replied, "Your honor I was very hungry because my husband and I have no money to eat".
The judge then asked the old lady "How many peaches were in the can?"
"Six" she replied.
"Ok i'm going to give you one day in prison for each peach."
All of a sudden, the wife's husband stood up and objected the judge's ruling.
"Your honor I have to admit, last week she stole a can of peas".
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Snowballs.
Driver pulls out his mirror and says: "Yes, it's me."
Their horns don’t work.
the prices are way too high, plus I haven’t had a barbecue in months.
Coworker #2: Food, obviously.
Coworker #1: I mean what are you having?
Coworker #2: Unwanted attention.
Therapist: Is this true?
Husband: Hey, teaching a dog how to use a throwing knife is not pointless!
A: You wanna pizza me?
Me: I'll tell you tomorrow.
The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second one says, “I’ll have some H2O too.”
Then he dies.
Step by step.