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We care! Supporting Simmers going through hard times.

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  • mcruddmcrudd Posts: 11,696 Member
    Hi all, sorry if I have not been around much, I had the most hardest of days on the second of March when my brother was officially missing a full year :( Lots have been happening, the latest is that they are trying to change his missing person case to a murder inquest. They also considering going to the media and doing a big outreach with several newspapers at once. I am just emotionally tired now, I play soooo much sims, it keeps me calm and my mind busy. You can still help if you want too by sharing his posters if you have facebook or other social media. I do appreciate everyone that has done it so far, you guys are the best <3 This is his page
  • rosemowrosemow Posts: 163,521 Member
    mcrudd wrote: »
    Hi all, sorry if I have not been around much, I had the most hardest of days on the second of March when my brother was officially missing a full year :( Lots have been happening, the latest is that they are trying to change his missing person case to a murder inquest. They also considering going to the media and doing a big outreach with several newspapers at once. I am just emotionally tired now, I play soooo much sims, it keeps me calm and my mind busy. You can still help if you want too by sharing his posters if you have facebook or other social media. I do appreciate everyone that has done it so far, you guys are the best <3 This is his page

    Hello @mcrudd
    I send big hugs <3 It is a huge strain and pressure that you and your family are undergoing. You would feel so very tired. It is so hard for you all that he has now been missing for a year. I hope that the media outreach may help to provide some help and information about him and what has happened. It is not nice that you are needing to adjust to the change to it being a murder investigation.
    It is good that simming is helping you through all that you are going through. I hope that sharing about him on Facebook pages may help.
    I continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts. Sending another hug to you <3
  • mcruddmcrudd Posts: 11,696 Member
    Thank you Rosemow <3
  • February11February11 Posts: 12,609 Member
    @mcrudd I can't believe this is still unresolved, you and your family must be under so much pressure and stress. Not knowing is the worst. Big hugs <3 and let's hope and pray there will be an outcome sooner rather than later.
    MLgj4Vx.png
  • mcruddmcrudd Posts: 11,696 Member
    February11 wrote: »
    @mcrudd I can't believe this is still unresolved, you and your family must be under so much pressure and stress. Not knowing is the worst. Big hugs <3 and let's hope and pray there will be an outcome sooner rather than later.

    Thank you <3 . The reason its still unresolved is because South Africa has so much crime and deaths and missing people the work load is just too big and now with the warning of genocide its just put more back on the burner. The fact that they are trying to make it a murder inquest might help a little, but I think that I need to mentally prepare myself for never getting an answer. Its real hard, would be easier to let go if someone would come forward and let us know what happened, but don't think it will ever happen :( My brother's 38th birthday is coming up on the 28th April, we are not even sure if he had his 37th, for all we know he is forever 36 and with my late dad, but I will never give up hoping, although its pretty hopeless right now.
  • KatNipKatNip Posts: 1,065 Member
    @mcrudd
    I hope you guys find him soon...
  • mcruddmcrudd Posts: 11,696 Member
    KatNip wrote: »
    @mcrudd
    I hope you guys find him soon...

    Thank you <3
  • JazztizzJazztizz Posts: 627 Member
    edited March 2017
    mcrudd wrote: »
    Hi all, sorry if I have not been around much, I had the most hardest of days on the second of March when my brother was officially missing a full year :( Lots have been happening, the latest is that they are trying to change his missing person case to a murder inquest. They also considering going to the media and doing a big outreach with several newspapers at once. I am just emotionally tired now, I play soooo much sims, it keeps me calm and my mind busy. You can still help if you want too by sharing his posters if you have facebook or other social media. I do appreciate everyone that has done it so far, you guys are the best <3 This is his page

    I was about to close the forum for the night when I saw the link for this thread in @Rosemow's signature.

    @mcrudd I'm so sorry you're going through this. The really bizarre thing is, I know exactly what you are going through. My son has been missing since March 2, 2016. When I saw the date your brother disappeared I couldn't believe it. Same date.

    I've been keeping updates about him on my twitter page here: Jazztizz But we haven't had any news. The only thing I update is how it feels to not know if someone you love is alive or dead for days, months and now -- over a year.

    I want to share something I wrote about a month ago on my Facebook page.

    Brute Force Method


    I remember when I used to have to sign on to the internet with a modem, when AOL would say those lovely three words, "You've got mail." There were text-games available to play that would sometimes get jammed up. You'd get a pop-up box:

    "We couldn't log you in. Would you like to try the brute-force method?"

    I always pictured a crow bar and a hammer.

    This is what the days feel like lately. I'm trying the brute force method. I only get relief when asleep. I thought by now it would be easier, but it has gotten harder. I have tried showing up using the brute-force method, smiling when I just want to crawl into bed and cry, but that has made me feel like my face has become a mask and my throat feel like it's on fire. And then I cry at the oddest times -- in the middle of a laugh. Watching a movie. At the store, in front of startled strangers --

    I have decided to take a break from the internet for a couple of months or so. I'm making it a sacred mission, to find answers in two places -- inside during meditation, and outside during walks. I know the answers are there or, if not answers, then the peace of being able to be okay with not knowing.

    I'm so far from being okay with not knowing that writing that as a goal seems ludicrous to me, but it is my goal, and my prayer.

    Thanks for your prayers and good thoughts all these months since Ben disappeared. Thanks for reading.

    /

    The time away totally changed when I started playing the sims and found @Rosemow's challenges. Something about playing and building is like sleeping -- it takes the pain away for as long as I focus only on that.

    I hope what I wrote helped @mcrudd Please PM me if you want to chat. Sending prayers, hugs and good thoughts to you and your family.
    Find your pack. Love them hard.Because life is short, and sometimes they disappear.Missing Benjamin.Dd9S8jh.gif
  • comicsforlifecomicsforlife Posts: 9,585 Member
    wow sorry about your pain both of you I said a small prayer
    more for sim kids and more drama please
  • rosemowrosemow Posts: 163,521 Member
    Jazztizz wrote: »
    mcrudd wrote: »
    Hi all, sorry if I have not been around much, I had the most hardest of days on the second of March when my brother was officially missing a full year :( Lots have been happening, the latest is that they are trying to change his missing person case to a murder inquest. They also considering going to the media and doing a big outreach with several newspapers at once. I am just emotionally tired now, I play soooo much sims, it keeps me calm and my mind busy. You can still help if you want too by sharing his posters if you have facebook or other social media. I do appreciate everyone that has done it so far, you guys are the best <3 This is his page

    I was about to close the forum for the night when I saw the link for this thread in @Rosemow's signature.

    @mcrudd I'm so sorry you're going through this. The really bizarre thing is, I know exactly what you are going through. My son has been missing since March 2, 2016. When I saw the date your brother disappeared I couldn't believe it. Same date.

    I've been keeping updates about him on my twitter page here: Jazztizz But we haven't had any news. The only thing I update is how it feels to not know if someone you love is alive or dead for days, months and now -- over a year.

    I want to share something I wrote about a month ago on my Facebook page.

    Brute Force Method


    I remember when I used to have to sign on to the internet with a modem, when AOL would say those lovely three words, "You've got mail." There were text-games available to play that would sometimes get jammed up. You'd get a pop-up box:

    "We couldn't log you in. Would you like to try the brute-force method?"

    I always pictured a crow bar and a hammer.

    This is what the days feel like lately. I'm trying the brute force method. I only get relief when asleep. I thought by now it would be easier, but it has gotten harder. I have tried showing up using the brute-force method, smiling when I just want to crawl into bed and cry, but that has made me feel like my face has become a mask and my throat feel like it's on fire. And then I cry at the oddest times -- in the middle of a laugh. Watching a movie. At the store, in front of startled strangers --

    I have decided to take a break from the internet for a couple of months or so. I'm making it a sacred mission, to find answers in two places -- inside during meditation, and outside during walks. I know the answers are there or, if not answers, then the peace of being able to be okay with not knowing.

    I'm so far from being okay with not knowing that writing that as a goal seems ludicrous to me, but it is my goal, and my prayer.

    Thanks for your prayers and good thoughts all these months since Ben disappeared. Thanks for reading.

    /

    The time away totally changed when I started playing the sims and found @Rosemow's challenges. Something about playing and building is like sleeping -- it takes the pain away for as long as I focus only on that.

    I hope what I wrote helped @mcrudd Please PM me if you want to chat. Sending prayers, hugs and good thoughts to you and your family.

    Hello @Jazztizz
    I send lots of big hugs to you <3 I am so sorry to hear that your son is missing. It would be so upsetting and distressing for you, with the uncertainty of knowing where he is. The pressure and strain of it all would be very tiring on your mind and body. There would be thoughts of your son kept on your mind in all that you are doing day by day.
    I am glad that simming is providing some help as you endure through all that you are going through.
    I will keep you in my thoughts. I send another hug to you <3 I also send many soft flower petals to enwrap your heart in your pain.
  • JazztizzJazztizz Posts: 627 Member
    @comicsforlife thank you for your prayers. I believe that is powerful help.

    @rosemow you are special kind of wonderful Rose. You're so caring and compassionate and your post was very sweet. Thanks so much.

    It's weird you know - to live this. I mean, fiction uses missing people as a device all the time especially cop shows. I never knew how hard it was until it happened to me, to our family. It's like a wound that not only never heals, it gets worse with time. So many things throw salt on it -- hearing his name, seeing photos, hearing a song he loved, so many things spark memories. It's this giant person-sized hole in your life. His sisters and brothers are in pain too, my mom, his aunts and uncles - and this is hard too. Any time someone you love is in pain for any reason, you hurt too. The thing is, you have to live your life. I find if I focus on everything, and let no thoughts in, it helps. The hard times are just before sleep; and waking up -- for a moment I forget he's gone. I can't tell you how many times I've dreamed of him, seen his face and woke up filled with joy only to have reality crash in My heart goes out to anyone going through this. So @mcrudd once again, sending healing and prayers. I don't think it's an accident I found your post last night. PM me any time.

    Rose, thanks so much again. It's very kind of you to moderate this thread. It helps to talk about it too, sometimes. ♥
    Find your pack. Love them hard.Because life is short, and sometimes they disappear.Missing Benjamin.Dd9S8jh.gif
  • mcruddmcrudd Posts: 11,696 Member
    Thank you @Jazztizz and so sorry that you feel this pain too, its unbearable, I can't tell you how many times I have written similar posts to the one you posted above on his missing page or on my facebook profile. The thing that gets me most is people telling me to just accept he might be deceised and carry on with my life, I guess you get a lot of that too :( They just can't understand that it is not possible to do that, you will always have a little hope you want to hold on to <3
  • JazztizzJazztizz Posts: 627 Member
    mcrudd wrote: »
    Thank you @Jazztizz and so sorry that you feel this pain too, its unbearable, I can't tell you how many times I have written similar posts to the one you posted above on his missing page or on my facebook profile. The thing that gets me most is people telling me to just accept he might be deceised and carry on with my life, I guess you get a lot of that too :( They just can't understand that it is not possible to do that, you will always have a little hope you want to hold on to <3

    @mcrudd I'm so sorry you've had to experience such insensitive comments. It's hurts my heart that someone would say that to you. You're right. We need that hope. Hope is the only thing that soothes the wound of not knowing. Wishing you peace during this time and love and support from compassionate people. I found this site with a helpline for those with missing people: Missing People - Coping with Thoughts and Feelings. The number is in the UK, so I'm not sure if you can use it. Either way the article is good. Meanwhile I'm going to keep looking for an online support community specific to this need. Meanwhile please know I'm here if you want to chat.

    Once again thank you @rosemow for this thread.
    Find your pack. Love them hard.Because life is short, and sometimes they disappear.Missing Benjamin.Dd9S8jh.gif
  • LuckyKittenCatLuckyKittenCat Posts: 4,640 Member
    hi sad, I'm KIITOMII XD

    welp now that's outdated
    lemme just...
    Hi sad, I'm LUCKY :D

    :trollface:
    I am undead! :smiley:
  • SSDSSDSSD2SSDSSDSSD2 Posts: 217 Member
    This good be a good idea but @rosemow already made a cheering up thread.
  • LuckyKittenCatLuckyKittenCat Posts: 4,640 Member
    SSDSSDSSD2 wrote: »
    This good be a good idea but @rosemow already made a cheering up thread.

    My new nemesis lol...
    I am undead! :smiley:
  • LuckyKittenCatLuckyKittenCat Posts: 4,640 Member
    but rosemow made one if you are going through tough times. NOTIFYOUAREJUSTSADABOUTARANDOMTHING!!!
    I am undead! :smiley:
  • SSDSSDSSD2SSDSSDSSD2 Posts: 217 Member
    SSDSSDSSD2 wrote: »
    This good be a good idea but @rosemow already made a cheering up thread.

    My new nemesis lol...
    I just noticed my grammar was terrible, I'm not going to fix it, but the EA team has every right to merge topics together.
  • rosemowrosemow Posts: 163,521 Member
    Hello
    The last few posts , that have been posted by LuckyKittenCat and SSDSSDSD2 , are posts from another thread that a moderator has merged into this thread.
  • mcruddmcrudd Posts: 11,696 Member
    Jazztizz wrote: »

    @mcrudd I'm so sorry you've had to experience such insensitive comments. It's hurts my heart that someone would say that to you. You're right. We need that hope. Hope is the only thing that soothes the wound of not knowing. Wishing you peace during this time and love and support from compassionate people. I found this site with a helpline for those with missing people: Missing People - Coping with Thoughts and Feelings. The number is in the UK, so I'm not sure if you can use it. Either way the article is good. Meanwhile I'm going to keep looking for an online support community specific to this need. Meanwhile please know I'm here if you want to chat.

    Once again thank you @rosemow for this thread.

    Thank you I will have a look at it, I have googled myself, but it seems to be something that there is not a lot of. I have just tried to cope in my own way. I now am swimming a lot to help with stress, water is amazing for that. It will also help me shake off the comfort eating weight I gained, so that I can be more active. Yeah I think its everyone that don't quite understand how it feels to have a missing sibling that keeps on telling me to go on with life. It really hurts, I have tried explaining to them how I feel many times, but they insist I am to go on with my life and focus on my family instead. I pray and hope you find answers or even better your son himself very soon, I know the pain of the unknown and it truly hurts <3:(

  • SSDSSDSSD2SSDSSDSSD2 Posts: 217 Member
    rosemow wrote: »
    Hello
    The last few posts , that have been posted by LuckyKittenCat and SSDSSDSD2 , are posts from another thread that a moderator has merged into this thread.
    I personally got no problem with it, you seem like a positive member as well.
  • rosemowrosemow Posts: 163,521 Member
    SSDSSDSSD2 wrote: »
    rosemow wrote: »
    Hello
    The last few posts , that have been posted by LuckyKittenCat and SSDSSDSD2 , are posts from another thread that a moderator has merged into this thread.
    I personally got no problem with it, you seem like a positive member as well.
    That is good :)
  • rosemowrosemow Posts: 163,521 Member
    mcrudd wrote: »
    Jazztizz wrote: »

    @mcrudd I'm so sorry you've had to experience such insensitive comments. It's hurts my heart that someone would say that to you. You're right. We need that hope. Hope is the only thing that soothes the wound of not knowing. Wishing you peace during this time and love and support from compassionate people. I found this site with a helpline for those with missing people: Missing People - Coping with Thoughts and Feelings. The number is in the UK, so I'm not sure if you can use it. Either way the article is good. Meanwhile I'm going to keep looking for an online support community specific to this need. Meanwhile please know I'm here if you want to chat.

    Once again thank you @rosemow for this thread.

    Thank you I will have a look at it, I have googled myself, but it seems to be something that there is not a lot of. I have just tried to cope in my own way. I now am swimming a lot to help with stress, water is amazing for that. It will also help me shake off the comfort eating weight I gained, so that I can be more active. Yeah I think its everyone that don't quite understand how it feels to have a missing sibling that keeps on telling me to go on with life. It really hurts, I have tried explaining to them how I feel many times, but they insist I am to go on with my life and focus on my family instead. I pray and hope you find answers or even better your son himself very soon, I know the pain of the unknown and it truly hurts <3:(

    Hello @mcrudd . Just sending a hug to you <3 and continuing to keep you and your familly in my thoughts.
  • mcruddmcrudd Posts: 11,696 Member
    rosemow wrote: »

    Hello @mcrudd . Just sending a hug to you <3 and continuing to keep you and your familly in my thoughts.

    Thank you <3

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