Rewriting, analysis, and how this fits into your larger, overall plan. This won't take long at all, @CathyTea
This chapter didn't get rewritten much, actually. I added to it little by little, but only small parts got rewritten...mostly the steam LOL. I wanted it to be steamy, but not too steamy, you know? The first draft or two were too much for my purposes. She was way more curious and gave more thought to her response to Kevin than debating on if she should have sex or not. I know Juliana isn't perfect, and it's good to show her having a lapses in judgment from time to time, but I thought it was a bit out of character for her to be considering whether or not she should take off her shirt LOL. I read that scene 5 million times because I was nervous about it being out of character. I wasn't afraid of it being steamy; I was concerned people wouldn't think Juliana responded appropriately. I never want her to be misunderstood. I changed things here and there, and even after I was satisfied with it, I still went back and read just in case lol.
As far as how this chapter fits into the overall plan, I'll address that when I reply to a different part of your comment!
One thing I really admire about this chapter (and what makes it feel like a Big Chapter to me) is that it deals with several significant issue. If I were writing this, I'd probably have chosen to deal with each issue in its own chapter, because I tend to write single-focus chapters. But yet it works so very well to have these multiple issues resolved in the same chapter--it's the right choice, I feel. And the reason, I think, is because the overarching theme of "resolution of long-standing internal conflicts" ties together the various issues.
The specific issues this chapter begins to resolve are so fascinating to me, and they're really ones that aren't always dealt with in fiction, but that are so interesting, and so valuable, and they're very intriguing to me.
1) The issue of giving and receiving, especially in regards to "Love Languages."
2) The issue of premarital sex
3) The issue of privilege
I like these! In my head, they're lumped into just two conflicts: premarital sex and independence. I wrapped the issue of privilege and the love languages into this one because they're all related.
I've already responded exhaustively about the sex issue, so we're done there lol. I make decisions for what goes into this story based on whether it will put Juliana closer to where I want her to be at the end of the story. Of course, I make room for setbacks, but she needs to come away from them stronger, more confident, or whatever and be back on the road to independence. That is what she really really wants. (she'll tell us a bit more about why soon!) The issues of privilege and the love languages are mostly things that set her back until she comes to grips with them in this chapter. Her refusal to let Kevin help oftentimes stalled the progress because she wanted to figure it out on her own but actually had no idea what to do so she just ran around in circles until he overstepped the boundaries and helped her anyway. Most of these scenarios were financial, but some were not (e.g. Trish). Kevin's desire to help her financially stems from his love language which is obviously gifts. Juliana's is quality time, and so the gifts don't really mean much to her. Well, that's not true. The gifts don't mean to her what they mean to him, so she hasn't understood until now that the gifts equate to love. So yeah...decisions are made based on if it puts her closer to independence. I felt like this chapter was a good place address the sex and the privilege issues because after this we are on a very steep hill, racing toward the end. I don't want to scare you with how few chapters are left lol.
The sex and privilege issues have been brewing for a long time. The love language has too, but I feel like this one is slightly different. I feel like it was an issue she didn't realize was an issue until right before she resolved it lol. So, two weeks prior, she had that conversation with her brother and probably surprised herself with the answer she gave him. It stayed on her mind, but not in front. Just something that would come up every now and then. I feel like she didn't completely get it until she randomly got the idea to make dinner for Kevin. It probably slowly came together throughout the day, and even while they ate it still hadn't completely formed. A clearer picture probably materialized when he asked her why she had done this and then was speechless at her answer. It completely came together when he suggested paying for the apartment.
It felt like such a growth moment for Juliana to both find a way she can give (to express her love as a form of nurturing) and to receive (to allow Kevin to express his love). She became so mature and so generous in this chapter. I could really feel Kevin's joy at being allowed to give and express his love through his generosity!
I'm glad you could feel his joy! As quick as it was, that was a huge moment for him. Kinda like, she put a muzzle on him and finally took it off.
One thing I adored about this chapter is that it shows that conflict can come in all sorts of ways. A person can be healthy, happy, with a life on-course, and still feel plenty of conflict! And resolutions, while major and significant, can happen in quiet moments, like with the making of meal or the acceptance of a gift.
Oh yes! Normal, unbroken people have problems too. You don't have to have sex with multiple partners, end up pregnant, and not know who the father is to have conflict in your life LOL. Conflict comes in all shapes and sizes, and even the littlest of conflicts can be done in ways that keeps your audience engaged if you do it well enough. And, like you said, you don't have to have big, come to Jesus moments every time something gets resolved.
Of course, there are still plenty more things to be resolved to fire the story's engine for... well, as long as Jes wants it to keep on going! But this chapter just did such a great job of moving from one state and stage into another.
Thank you so much! I'm glad it felt that way because that's exactly what's happening.
I also love how this chapter shows that popular and effective stories don't have to be about broken or ill characters--and that not every plot needs to lead to sex! In counter to a lot of current trends we see in popular SimLit, this story points out some new and exciting directions!
Yay! I'm glad you enjoy these elements. I tend to swim upstream in many areas of my life. My writing life is the same. To people reading this who don't know me as well as CT does, I'm not opposed to writing sex scenes at all. I just choose my moments wisely.
Thanks so much, CT, for sharing your thoughts with me and everyone! This was a real treat.
Same. I love the way, Jes shows those sometimes tiny and big things between two characters in a relationship. And I'm not just talking about Kevianna.
I know. There's so much there, right? In every moment between characters! And I love how it's always grounded in everyday things. Your stories do this, too, @Bugsie2016 , really well. Big conversations happen in little daily moments.
Jes, thanks so much for sharing all that went into this chapter! It really was one of the Big Reading moments--and, truthfully, that's what I read for, to have these moments! These times when the whole story falls into place and I feel that the characters are so full of life!
@cshaner BIG hi! I'm so glad we lured you out of silence! I've missed you loads and loads!
@cshaner - I love your observation about and insight into the "wrapper" of the story! As you point out, DJ is full of those! It's so rich. What a great technique! I might borrow it sometime, Jes! I love wraps.
@Jes2G - I love your observation about form. I've been thinking a lot about the tyranny of form lately, which is another reason this chapter felt so significant to me...
Romance tends to follow a formula, and everyone has expectations based on that formula.
I get excited when I see stories that include romance that manage, somehow, to find a different driver than the impulse towards pairing. Maybe it's because we know that Juliana will end up marrying Kevin, that this story can escape that formula. Then the driver can become Juliana's path towards independence and autonomy.
I always interpret fairy tales (the ones with princesses needing to meet Prince Charming) as being psychologically the story of wholeness, and for that reason, I love them very much! And with romances, too--the reason we push for OTPs and our favorite ships is to get that same theme of wholeness. But... what if a writer made the search for wholeness explicitly the theme, as Jes does here? This story really reminds me of one of my top-three favorite novels, Zora Neale Hurston's Their Eyes Were Watching God, which is a story about a young woman finding wholeness within herself, and along the way, she discovers true love and sexual completion. It's a beautiful story, like this.
It's been like 38 hours, and I only covered the first part of the question!
LOL! Thank you for taking so much time and energy to share your responses with us, Jes! But of course, this was the big question, and really, the overarching tension (between writer, character, story integrity, and reader demands and expectations) that drove the entire chapter! Tension is so perfect for creating beautiful, rich, strong chapters, even when that tension also exists outside of the world within the story!
Thanks again for sharing thoughts and ideas, everyone! Jes, thanks for writing this story and for giving insight into the creation of this Big Chapter!
Jonathan has been so busy supporting Aubrey at the restaurant, he missed his weekly "man date" with Derek. Instead of skipping it, he opts to hang at his house for a little while. Enjoy!
I was so busy writing a DJ chapter, I forgot this came out today! Our word for today is "entanglement," and Andrea sort of continues Antoine's thoughts about her involvement with Zayne. Enjoy!
Hillary, Juliana, and Abigail spend some time together, and of course, Hillary still doesn't understand "Keviana." Juliana explains hopefully for the last time. Enjoy!
Aubrey has some serious thoughts about her employees and realizes not all employees are as wonderful as the ones at Viviana's. On top of that, it's Keegan's first day! How will it go? Enjoy.
It's time for Ranveer to meet the rest of the family and Julio. How will it go? This is a very short wordless chapter. We'll get more details in parts 2 and 3 from the boyfriends. Enjoy!
Comments
Rewriting, analysis, and how this fits into your larger, overall plan. This won't take long at all, @CathyTea
This chapter didn't get rewritten much, actually. I added to it little by little, but only small parts got rewritten...mostly the steam LOL. I wanted it to be steamy, but not too steamy, you know? The first draft or two were too much for my purposes. She was way more curious and gave more thought to her response to Kevin than debating on if she should have sex or not. I know Juliana isn't perfect, and it's good to show her having a lapses in judgment from time to time, but I thought it was a bit out of character for her to be considering whether or not she should take off her shirt LOL. I read that scene 5 million times because I was nervous about it being out of character. I wasn't afraid of it being steamy; I was concerned people wouldn't think Juliana responded appropriately. I never want her to be misunderstood. I changed things here and there, and even after I was satisfied with it, I still went back and read just in case lol.
As far as how this chapter fits into the overall plan, I'll address that when I reply to a different part of your comment!
I like these! In my head, they're lumped into just two conflicts: premarital sex and independence. I wrapped the issue of privilege and the love languages into this one because they're all related.
I've already responded exhaustively about the sex issue, so we're done there lol. I make decisions for what goes into this story based on whether it will put Juliana closer to where I want her to be at the end of the story. Of course, I make room for setbacks, but she needs to come away from them stronger, more confident, or whatever and be back on the road to independence. That is what she really really wants. (she'll tell us a bit more about why soon!) The issues of privilege and the love languages are mostly things that set her back until she comes to grips with them in this chapter. Her refusal to let Kevin help oftentimes stalled the progress because she wanted to figure it out on her own but actually had no idea what to do so she just ran around in circles until he overstepped the boundaries and helped her anyway. Most of these scenarios were financial, but some were not (e.g. Trish). Kevin's desire to help her financially stems from his love language which is obviously gifts. Juliana's is quality time, and so the gifts don't really mean much to her. Well, that's not true. The gifts don't mean to her what they mean to him, so she hasn't understood until now that the gifts equate to love. So yeah...decisions are made based on if it puts her closer to independence. I felt like this chapter was a good place address the sex and the privilege issues because after this we are on a very steep hill, racing toward the end. I don't want to scare you with how few chapters are left lol.
The sex and privilege issues have been brewing for a long time. The love language has too, but I feel like this one is slightly different. I feel like it was an issue she didn't realize was an issue until right before she resolved it lol. So, two weeks prior, she had that conversation with her brother and probably surprised herself with the answer she gave him. It stayed on her mind, but not in front. Just something that would come up every now and then. I feel like she didn't completely get it until she randomly got the idea to make dinner for Kevin. It probably slowly came together throughout the day, and even while they ate it still hadn't completely formed. A clearer picture probably materialized when he asked her why she had done this and then was speechless at her answer. It completely came together when he suggested paying for the apartment.
I'm glad you could feel his joy! As quick as it was, that was a huge moment for him. Kinda like, she put a muzzle on him and finally took it off.
Talk about it all you want! LOL
Oh yes! Normal, unbroken people have problems too. You don't have to have sex with multiple partners, end up pregnant, and not know who the father is to have conflict in your life LOL. Conflict comes in all shapes and sizes, and even the littlest of conflicts can be done in ways that keeps your audience engaged if you do it well enough. And, like you said, you don't have to have big, come to Jesus moments every time something gets resolved.
Thank you so much! I'm glad it felt that way because that's exactly what's happening.
Yay! I'm glad you enjoy these elements. I tend to swim upstream in many areas of my life. My writing life is the same. To people reading this who don't know me as well as CT does, I'm not opposed to writing sex scenes at all. I just choose my moments wisely.
Thanks so much, CT, for sharing your thoughts with me and everyone! This was a real treat.
I know. There's so much there, right? In every moment between characters! And I love how it's always grounded in everyday things. Your stories do this, too, @Bugsie2016 , really well. Big conversations happen in little daily moments.
Do you also play The Elder Scrolls Online? You can find me there as CathyTea, too!
Jes, thanks so much for sharing all that went into this chapter! It really was one of the Big Reading moments--and, truthfully, that's what I read for, to have these moments! These times when the whole story falls into place and I feel that the characters are so full of life!
@cshaner BIG hi! I'm so glad we lured you out of silence! I've missed you loads and loads!
@cshaner - I love your observation about and insight into the "wrapper" of the story! As you point out, DJ is full of those! It's so rich. What a great technique! I might borrow it sometime, Jes!
@Jes2G - I love your observation about form. I've been thinking a lot about the tyranny of form lately, which is another reason this chapter felt so significant to me...
I get excited when I see stories that include romance that manage, somehow, to find a different driver than the impulse towards pairing. Maybe it's because we know that Juliana will end up marrying Kevin, that this story can escape that formula. Then the driver can become Juliana's path towards independence and autonomy.
I always interpret fairy tales (the ones with princesses needing to meet Prince Charming) as being psychologically the story of wholeness, and for that reason, I love them very much! And with romances, too--the reason we push for OTPs and our favorite ships is to get that same theme of wholeness. But... what if a writer made the search for wholeness explicitly the theme, as Jes does here? This story really reminds me of one of my top-three favorite novels, Zora Neale Hurston's Their Eyes Were Watching God, which is a story about a young woman finding wholeness within herself, and along the way, she discovers true love and sexual completion. It's a beautiful story, like this.
LOL! Thank you for taking so much time and energy to share your responses with us, Jes! But of course, this was the big question, and really, the overarching tension (between writer, character, story integrity, and reader demands and expectations) that drove the entire chapter! Tension is so perfect for creating beautiful, rich, strong chapters, even when that tension also exists outside of the world within the story!
Thanks again for sharing thoughts and ideas, everyone! Jes, thanks for writing this story and for giving insight into the creation of this Big Chapter!
Do you also play The Elder Scrolls Online? You can find me there as CathyTea, too!
Jonathan has been so busy supporting Aubrey at the restaurant, he missed his weekly "man date" with Derek. Instead of skipping it, he opts to hang at his house for a little while. Enjoy!
http://www.jes2gstories.com/3d-bff/
I was so busy writing a DJ chapter, I forgot this came out today! Our word for today is "entanglement," and Andrea sort of continues Antoine's thoughts about her involvement with Zayne. Enjoy!
http://www.jes2gstories.com/balderdash-entanglement/
Hillary is uber excited about her new, official relationship with Jase but frustrated with the pace. Enjoy!
http://www.jes2gstories.com/juliana-chapter-131-ice-cream/
Oliver has something to teach us today. Enjoy the cuteness!
http://www.jes2gstories.com/3d-how-to-rule-the-roost-in-7-easy-steps/
#Manveer is going strong, but Maya still has trouble showing her true self to him for fear he may not like her. Enjoy!
http://www.jes2gstories.com/3d-starstruck/
Kevin discovers just how stubborn Juliana can be and has no clue how to handle it. Enjoy!
http://www.jes2gstories.com/juliana-chapter-132-stubborn-juliana/
outrun / blog / tunglr
HEFFNER LEGACY│Simblr│Heffner Legacy Discussion │ Origin ID: Maladi
Wasn't really public as they were by themselves (I'm assuming as no one else was there)
LOL seriously.
That would be wise!
True, but you know what she means lol.
Aubrey tells Julio about some troubles at work and asks for his advice. Enjoy!
http://www.jes2gstories.com/3d-judgment/
Skylathan has a disagreement about Oliver's birthday party. Enjoy!
http://www.jes2gstories.com/3d-squabbles/
Hillary, Juliana, and Abigail spend some time together, and of course, Hillary still doesn't understand "Keviana." Juliana explains hopefully for the last time. Enjoy!
http://www.jes2gstories.com/juliana-chapter-133-juliana-explains-it-all/
Aubrey meets with Keegan to offer him a job. Enjoy!
http://www.jes2gstories.com/3d-keegan-faust/
Aubrey has some serious thoughts about her employees and realizes not all employees are as wonderful as the ones at Viviana's. On top of that, it's Keegan's first day! How will it go? Enjoy.
http://www.jes2gstories.com/3d-boss-lady/
It's finally here! The grand opening of Galleria Sepulveda! Enjoy.
http://www.jes2gstories.com/juliana-chapter-134-the-grand-opening/
It's time for Ranveer to meet the rest of the family and Julio. How will it go? This is a very short wordless chapter. We'll get more details in parts 2 and 3 from the boyfriends. Enjoy!
http://www.jes2gstories.com/3d-the-boyfriends-part-i/